Dominant Wife And Submissive Husband

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Dominant Wife And Submissive Husband
Many marriages involve having a submissive husband, a situation where the man is the lesser partner and follows orders and commands from his wife.
There are, of course, varying degrees of submission, but at the very least, the man will be obedient to his Dominant wife and will follow her lead absolutely.
But this obedience doesn’t just happen overnight.
Submissive men must be trained by their Dominant wives.
This training covers many aspects of submission, and it seeks to ensure that the husband is properly obedient, leading to a happiness and contentment in submission that is desired by these men.


Basic submissive training involves men learning the proper way to do the simple tasks that their wives demand, such as housework.
For a husband to be truly submissive, not only does he complete the tasks that his wife demands, he must do them in a way that meets her high standards.
Often times the wife will assign tasks with complex instructions just to see how attentive her husband is.
If her standards are not met, she will punish her husband and demand he complete the task properly.
Punishment can include anything from doing the task over and over again many times to reinforce the proper way to do it, to verbal and physical reprimands.
Submissive training often works best when the punishment fits the crime, however, and most punishments will seek to reinforce correct behavior.


Another level of submissive training is attitude and obedience training.
While these men desire submission, many are not always completely ready for the emotional and psychological demands it can place on them.
If the submissive husband has a bad attitude, is insubordinate, talks back, acts out or otherwise isn't submitting mentally, his Dominant wife may use training methods to change his mental attitude.
This includes things such as verbal humiliation, or washing his mouth out with soap.


The most intense submissive husband training that is used by many couples can include things like chastity belts for men, strapon training, and denial.
These methods seek to change the motivations of the men.
Once a man has become a submissive husband, his needs are secondary to hers.
He needs to learn to refocus his own energy, and often times this takes having his urges suppressed or controlled.
When the man has his desires suppressed, he can focus and concentrate on what she wants, and it makes him more obedient and attentive to his wife.


While a lot of the submissive training involves punishment and correction of behavior, there is an equal element of reward and satisfaction.
When submissive males are doing well with their training and are being obedient, they are rewarded by their wives with love, attention, and release.
Many men find that this is extremely gratifying, and the rewards are that much more powerful because they are truly earned.
Submissive husbands will go through all the punishments just to get to that point of reward, and they relish in those moments when they have truly pleased their wives 100%.


Submissive training is absolutely necessary in a relationship where the wife is in power as it seeks to create harmony and peace in the relationship.
If trained properly, the husband is calm, happy, and proud to serve his wife, and this sense of happiness and peace is what the wife led relationship is all about.

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Take charge of your FLR with these 5 simple steps from a happy dominant wife.
     So you have been the head of your household for years now but are still unsure of how to manage your home and your husband. There are certain things that you like but others that you dislike in an FLR. There are times when you would like to know how to act in order to both increase your own satisfaction and enhance the relationship between you and your husband.
     Don’t worry — you’re not alone! Like you, most of us wives in charge ended up in this position at the request of our husbands. What we thought at first was only a passing kink morphed over time to the foundation of a stronger, more loving relationship where we lead and our husbands follow. Yes, it is a lot of work for us – but even more work for our husbands ;)! — but let’s face it, we like being bosses. The question comes up in our minds, though: Are we doing what’s best to enjoy being a dominant wife while enhancing our relationships with our men and keeping them happy? After all, we married them because we love them and we do want to keep them happy….
     Well, I can’t answer all your questions, but I can certainly offer you a framework to help you think them through and decide by yourself what’s best.
     First, the preparations. Think carefully about the relationship you have now with your husband — not what it was in the past or may get to be in the future, nor what it’s supposed to be or you or him would like it to be, but what it really is, now. Then, prepare the following lists. Don’t worry if you can’t come up with 10 items, but do try to complete the lists if you can.
Now that you’ve completed the lists, go back and rank them in order of importance TO YOU.
Now think about each item carefully and answer the following questions for each one:
     So what is it that will let you enjoy being a dominant wife while enhancing your relationship with your husband and keeping him happy? Let’s think about it a little bit.
     After our little exercise, the changes that you should make so that you can enjoy more being the dominant party in your marriage should be obvious: make sure you get more of what you like, less (or none!) of what you dislike and add those other things that you are not yet getting but you would like. You already made notes about what you and your husband need to do to accomplish these things. It’s simple. Now you know what you need to do to make YOURSELF happy.
     As far as enhancing your relationship with your husband, it’s obvious that anything that makes you AND him happier will make the relationship better. Agreed? Great!
     Now, let’s talk about how to make HIM happy. Some of the changes that you would like may mean more work, less free time, even pain and suffering for your husband, so there may be a conflict here between what’s best for you and what’s best for him. So what are you to do? Well, he submitted to you years ago, right? And not only he hasn’t asked you to return to the old relationship dynamics, but in fact he keeps asking you to take more control over him, doesn’t he? So… it seems that in order to make him happy you ought to make all the important decisions according to your own preferences. As long as he sees that any changes that you introduce make you happier, he’ll also be happier. Don’t be fooled if sometimes he acts like he wants to regain control. That’s his way of calling to your attention the fact that you need to TAKE more control over him and your marriage. Remember, you can’t ASK for more power, you must TAKE IT.
     If the last paragraph makes sense to you, then you will agree that you will make HIM happier if you make changes that will make YOU happier. If you don’t agree, discuss the matter with him. Tell him that you are thinking about making some changes, describe them and ask him how he feels about them. Ask him to be honest because once the changes are in place you will not want to go back. If your husband is remotely like all the other submissive husbands I know, I have no doubt that he will make the case for you to order the changes immediately and will cooperate enthusiastically to implement them.
     This is the last step. Go ahead and make the changes that you have determined are needed. Don’t hesitate and don’t let your husband slack in any way. By making these changes you will the happier head of a happier household, followed by a happier husband, even if it’s hard for either or both of you at the beginning. Don’t relent!
-By J.A., woman, author and longtime reader of this website
It took me years to realize that Women are superior and smarter than men and our priority should always be Their happiness and we’ll being
Absolutely great article. I wish something like this was available when I was a younger man and first started desiring this sort of relationship. Being able to have direction and expert advice is so important. Thanks aboutflr for being a great resource.
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People have different preferences when it comes to sex. Some men like to be the dominant type, while others like to be submissive and let the woman take over. So what are some things submissive men like in bed? We surveyed our male readers to bring you 9 things submissive men want their dominant partners to do in bed.

“It gives me goosebumps when a girl says offensive things to me or calls me out in offensive ways.” Rough, dirty talk hits the spot for submissive men. During your session, keep talking down to him, rudely, and this should get him even more excited.

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M y FLR relationship with my husband is evolving. I was just on a college campus on a business trip, and noted that Women outnumbered men two-to-one, and the men were subdued. In the wake of the ME TOO movement, men are intimidated and afraid to talk to us until we determine what they can say. That is more power than I need, and more than Women should have, which speaks to how my FLR is evolving.
I am thinking that a healthy marriage can’t be as one-sided as I have portrayed, and so far practiced. Although I have always viewed my parents’ marriage as healthy with my Mother strictly in charge and requiring my dad’s obedience, I now, in my own marriage I am increasingly concerned with abuse that demeans or devalues my marriage partner. Women have seen much of this in the past by emotionally-abusive men, and now that things are reversed, I am beginning to think that in a healthy marriage relationship, both partners need the ability to negotiate and compromise, and there has to be a degree of mutual sacrifice – for the welfare of our relationship and mental health of my husband.
I think there may be what someone has called “controlling abuse.” I am thinking of when I use my power to prohibit my husband from making any independent decisions, control how he spends his free time, what he wears, what friends he chooses, how much time he spends with friends or family, what and how he thinks.
I am beginning to think that the level of control I am exercising over him may be abusive. We are talking through it together. I am trying to figure out how I may have to change in order for him to be a healthy responsible man/marriage partner, and feel free to assert himself more, and be able to ask me anything and receive an appropriate loving response. We are also working out what degree my power over him is just fetish, and what part he subscribes to because I am superior.
There’s no question that I will retain final authority, and final decision-making but I want it to be a relationship where I lead, but he is himself, and is contributing to the relationship in terms of his intelligence, personality, opinions, and where we decide together where he can act or decide independently from my authority.
I certainly believe that we, as Women, need to be in control of our society at all levels. While I prefer to refer to God in the Feminine (because She created both male and Female in Her image and the Female certainly was created with superior traits and capabilities), I have to believe that She values men as well as Women, and it will be unfortunate if we enslave them, or are unloving or disrespectful to them.
My personal dominance of men in my office (professional equals) I believe is a result of being open, friendly, and approachable. When combined with a “dash” of flirtatiousness, it is a recipe for respect and appreciation both ways, but it ends up in the men wanting to please and serve me. Meaning, that I believe I am the opposite of that Woman whom men are afraid to talk to.
I have all the freedoms and power, but I am leading the relationship in such a way that my husband has the freedom to be the man I married, for reasons I married him. He should have his own personality and individuality, and freedom to make decisions, at least within certain parameters.
Granting him these freedoms will help my husband because he will maintain (or in some cases restore) his personality, individuality, and confidence. He will also now be able to make decisions and make choices, again within parameters. Even where the decisions are not available to him, he will have fair input to the decision which will be made by me. Our relationship will benefit because of his confidence level, and because we will both be free to use our strengths to bear on the pre-determined direction(s) of the marriage. Both partners in the relationship have to be happy and fulfilled to make a happy and rewarding, and purposeful marriage.
At first, I thought I would NOT benefit, because I would be giving up some control and scaling back my authority. However, since starting this, he is much happier and more motivated, and I don’t have to make EVERY little decision, and the communication we have at new levels and early in looming decisions or processes, that communication is eliminating the possibility and need for absolute obedience on his part. I have discovered that I don’t have time to be his Mom, and I prefer to be his dominant Wife.
Make no mistake, I am still the final authority, and he fully supports my leading the relationship and being in control. But we are benefiting from “partnering” in more areas, and admitting that each of us has strengths and weaknesses, which is hard for me to admit of myself, but it is true. It is productive to depend on the other partner where his/her strengths can compensate for weaknesses. Personally, I gain a more competent, happy partner. I gain time to concentrate on our relationship needs and the direction of our marriage and the fulfillment of my mate personally. I gain more time for myself by not having to micromanage everything, make every decision, and police his obedience. I have traded punishment for disobedience, for meaningful communication and unity of purpose and goals, and this, I believe, will improve our relationship dramatically.
I’d luv to hear your sub hubby’s point of view. I am curious to ask if he feels you’ve distanced yourself from him and if he feels more alone now that you don’t seem to care enough to manage him as tightly as you once did. His independence seems great, but sounds also like lack of your interest. When someone is intensely interested, they can be very obnoxious, even to the point they look at themselves and see it. But that taken aback feeling, it’s because you’ve stepped back, and seen through less passionate eyes. I worry…
Thank you for your insightful questioning. I assure you there is no relationship “drift” with respect to any lack of interest or caring. We have only been married for 5 months, and together over two years. We are very committed to each other and together as we move forward. But we agree together about the obvious – I am dominant, and he is submissive, and I am more qualified to lead and exercise my authority in our relationship. That doesn’t mean, however, that I won’t rely on his strengths and abilities. I just want to make sure my husband is fulfilled in his life as a whole, not just in our home. He is a professional, and I want him to achieve to his highest potential professionally, personally, and spiritually. We don’t need his income, so he works Part-time so he can serve and support me. Perhaps he will comment at come point.
Ashley, What a thoughtful and well written post on your evolving relationship. Because you are open to the idea that things can always be improved, you seem headed in the right direction.
I have been in a FLR for about 2 decades now. It has been intense at times and almost non-existent other times. Because of the demands of life and of making progress in our own personnel goals, we have gone off and focused on our own seperate lives for a time over the years and it’s been healthy. Recently we recommitted to my wife being the full time alpha and me falling into my preferred role as the beta. As our relationship is now, I serve my wife when we are together and she calls the shots that she wasn’t to call. When we are going about our own separate days, I do things in service to her, but I also make my own plans and do my own thing. Overall, my wife has final say, but I maintain control over my life when we are apart. In addition, she respects our mutual need to have activities that don’t include each other. She has her friends and I have mine, and we have mutual friends. All of this works great for both of us since she gets the service and attention she deserves, I get the submission and obedience I crave, and we both get to experience our “self” outside of the relationship.
Good luck Ashley in finding a good balance for your and your husband. It sounds like you are are the right path.
Ashley, Than you again for sharing. A relevant topic for many of us in FLRs. My wife also enjoys a high level of what I will call “leadership” in our household. Admittedly, I have encouraged it over the years and it has grown in our marriage.
I am also very eager to carry out any need or anything she asks. Striking the balance is important and something I think she monitors so that I enjoy things outside of work and pleasing her.
This was very well written Ashley. I am impressed with how honest you are being with yourself.
For me, it was all about respect when my wife and I settled into our FLR. I made it clear early on that I was happy to serve her wishes, but that she needed to respect me for that.
It has led to a relationship very much like the one you are describing, and it is working well
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