Do Women Like Dirty Talk
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Do Women Like Dirty Talk
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Top three things women like men to say during sex revealed - and the results are disturbing
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A lot of people definitely won't agree with the number one spot. Warning: Adult content
While conversations about your day or the weather aren't likely to come up during sex with your partner, many people do find the odd word a turn-on.
The question is, what on earth are you meant to say? The old phrase "talk dirty to me" can instil fear into the most confident of lotharios.
Luckily for any would-be Casanovas out there, a survey has revealed the top three things women like to hear during sex with male partners.
But you might be put off by the phrase that took the number one spot.
The survey, by Forktip , asked 5,000 adults questions about their sex life - and included asking straight women what they most like to hear their partner whisper in their ear.
Third place should come as no surprise: women like men to tell them how much he's enjoying it.
Sex is about pleasing your partner, right? So far, so normal.
In the number two spot was the bold "he tells me how tight it is".
When you team this with the results for what men say they don't like about female partners - and 'being too loose' taking the top spot - it's unsurprising women are concerned about their nether regions and whether he is getting enough pleasure.
The number one spot is where it takes a bit of a controversial turn. Ladies rated "being asked to 'call him daddy'" as their top turn-on.
Some people will definitely have an issue with that being very creepy.
The survey also revealed that women preferred "tall, athletic and fit men with large penises" while men are looking for a "healthy body figure" with a "big booty and firm breasts".
Men are more likely to want more sex but are also more likely to cheat on their partner.
When asked if they had cheated, 30.9% of women said yes - compared with 40.4% of men.
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Women expect their partner to understand from their body language that there is something in particular they want him to do. So the man keeps guessing and can be scared too to try something that she may like. So to combat that issue, we bring to you this guide to what women truly want you to do in bed.
You will be surprised how women love it when men talk dirty in bed. It generally happens during the heat of passion when they want you to say something.
Be it kissing, sex or foreplay, you do not always have to be done with it in 10 minutes. Go slow, she is not running away. Unless of course she too is in the mood. Work your way.
No, not all, but the vibrator is something she may want you to use on her. If you think it may shock her ( if it is a topic never discussed), slip in a conversation on how you read something about using a vibrator and the pleasure it gives. You never know, she may just ask you to use it.
Instead of her undressing herself, women love it when their partner undresses them. There are two ways to do it and that is with aggression or gently. However, when you are aggressive, in the mood to tear off clothes, make sure it is not something very dear to her or too expensive to be damaged.
Just like you want her to compliment you, it's vice versa. Compliment her on her lingerie, her body parts, let her feel confident and watch how she blooms in bed.
Please smell good, use an antiperspirant unless you have an underarm fettish. Wear the perfume she likes on you.
Please try your best to last long. Women take time to climax.
Most women do not say it, but they do want their man to go down on them like men expect their partner to do the same. The act of sex is not what makes them orgasm but it is oral sex which does.
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I admitted that I didn't want the intimate, tender lovemaking that typified my bedroom. Instead, I found books and movies where women are sexually ravished and even aggressively taken exciting. And I judged myself for it.
Author of "She Dated the Asshats, But Married the Good Guy: How to Go From Toxic Love to Real Love in 12 Exercises."
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Author of "She Dated the Asshats, But Married the Good Guy: How to Go From Toxic Love to Real Love in 12 Exercises."
A month or so back, I found myself in a gay club dancing with lovely men who made me feel fun, sexy and beautiful, but had absolutely no interest in tempting me away from my domestic haven.
However, I came home from that experience feeling restless and mid-life crisis-y.
I realized my 17-year relationship (now-marriage) had some predictable sexual patterns, which happens in any long-term relationship. But suddenly, I felt a strong compulsion to break free of those patterns. (Could it be turning 50?)
Though I wanted to shake things up, I knew swinging, polyamory or, in turn-of-the-century Lady Mary/"Downton Abbey" vernacular, "taking a lover" would be the death knell of my treasured marriage, therefore not the kind of "shaking things up" I wanted to do.
What makes my husband so incredibly badass is that when I said, "I think I'm having a midlife crisis. I'm sexually bored." He instantly replied, "Let's do something about it!"
Realizing it was my issue, not his, I went to see my former font-of-wisdom (a.k.a. therapist) and admitted that I didn't want the intimate, tender lovemaking that typified my bedroom. Instead, I found books and movies where women are sexually ravished and even aggressively taken exciting. And that I judged myself for it.
I've been a sex columnist, which suggests Sexual Libertine , but in many ways I'm repressed. I was raised Mormon, so my psychological, sexual landscape has definitely been impacted by the sexual repression in that culture leaving me to to frequent battle with the Morality Police, priggish Jacques and Ferrar, that live inside my head.
My therapist, who is often a place of temperate permission, explained that she believes, and I quote:
She cited a recent documentary on the endangered big cat, the Canadian Lynx, where she described how aggressive the male is with the female during the mating ritual.
The male will bite the female's neck, scratching her and holding her down forcefully. My doc surmised that humans most likely have a genetic or biological sexual impulse that is very similar to that of animals.
After my session, whilst googling the keyphrase: What do Women Want in Bed? I stumbled on a recent Ask Men article titled, 5 Things Women Secretly Want In Bed . Two of them made my Morality Police, irascible Jacques and Ferrar, take note.
#1 Get Aggressive In Bed: Just about every woman I encountered had the words 'more aggressive sex' rolling off her tongue. From being tied up and spanked to having their hair pulled and being mildly asphyxiated, the women were quite enthusiastic about aggressive sex. Of course, I'm not implying that you should go home and smack your (lady) up, but instead, maybe a little roughing in the bedroom can work wonders for your sex life.
#3 Treat Her Like A Prostitute: (Shannon here: this language might offend the feminists in many of us. But I agree with the spirit of the note.)
Ah, fantasies, the beauty of them lies in the fact that many are not realized. But as one woman put it: 'I am tired of being that precious lady in the bedroom. I'm tired of making love and doing things gently all the time.' (Shannon quietly raises hand)
'I want him to have raunchy sex with me and talk to me as though he just met me and cares nothing about what I want. I want him to ravish me like an animal and tell me to be quiet whenever I try to say something.'
I guess, in the end, there are plenty of women who want to be, for lack of a better word, slutty in the bedroom. They simply fear that if they behave in such a manner, then their men will think less of them, and some are even afraid that their men will mistakenly begin treating them differently outside the bedroom as well. All the same, many women are big fans of scenarios such as the one described.
In the last quote I particularly appreciate that the author has made a distinction between what women like in bed versus what they prefer in real life.
All of this is food for thought and a catalyst to ex-communicate the puritanical, prudish, Victorian Jacques and Ferrar with regards to my midlife ennui.
I recognize that my sexual relationship with my husband hasn't stopped growing. It's been stunted a bit by the last 13 years of raising children, but there is nothing that says we can't pick up the reins and continue to grow and even surprise each other as the years unfold.
I think the ace we have up our sleeve is genuine goodwill toward each other and a willingness to communicate, even the trickiest most vulnerable, uncomfortable stuff.
If you want to keep up with Shannon you can Opt-In to her Relationship Sensei Newsletter HERE.
Author of "She Dated the Asshats, But Married the Good Guy: How to Go From Toxic Love to Real Love in 12 Exercises."
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