Dirty Vagina
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Dirty Vagina
18 Things You Should Never Put In Your Vagina
If you have to ask, the answer is probably no.
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You've all heard horror stories of that one friend's-cousin's-classmate who put some random object inside her vagina during a heated moment and ended up in the hospital with an embarrassing story—and maybe even some serious physical damage. So what's actually dangerous to put in there? We talked to a few health professionals to break it down. Here's what to steer clear of...
Some women like to use douches to clean the vagina, but in actuality, this is totally unnecessary. It can also be dangerous because, according to Dr. Alyssa Dweck , M.D., a gynecologist and Assistant Clinical Professor at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, it can cause "a horrible imbalance of the typical bacteria that is supposed to be in the vagina and actually cause an infection." Douching is a known culprit when it comes to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) and bacterial vaginosis . If you're worried about keeping your vagina clean, the best thing you can do is wash your vulva with soap and water when you take a shower, being careful not to put any soap inside your vagina. See a doctor if you think something smells off. Ultimately, your vagina is self-cleaning, so it doesn't need your help to make it cleaner.
Yes, steaming your vagina at the spa is totally a trend these days, and yes , it's exactly what it sounds like. "They sit on a specific type of spa with no underwear, on special chairs that have herbal infused steam coming out of them, and they steam their bottom," shares Dweck. "And while any sort of warm treatment could feel good and enhance blood supply to the area, we've seen some burns come out of this and irritation from the types of herbs, so I would use significant caution of that. I'm not sure how effective this is to do anything anyway."
"If you're using household oil as a lubricant, you need high-grade quality oil, not what you use in your kitchen to fry food," says Dr. Raquel Dardik, M.D., a gynecologist and Associate Professor of Gynecology at NYU Langone Medical Center. "And you want to use oil that is pH neutral, so for example, almond oil, coconut oil, olive oil, probably okay." What you don't want to use is tea tree oil, which can cause scary chemical burns: "it's incredibly caustic and will cause a vaginal burn, so probably not okay."
"All that stuff has sugar which will change the bacteria and yeast proportions which can cause infections. Those substances can also be irritating to the vaginal skin, so it might seem like a good idea at the time, but you may have either vaginal irritation or a vaginal infection afterwards," says Dardik.
"I would not recommend putting it inside the vagina," says Dweck. "It's really tough to get this stuff out, especially if it's causing a reaction. Fair enough for sexual play if you want to put this stuff on the vulva or other portions of the body and get an erotic experience—that's fine. But I wouldn't advise putting it inside."
This is occasionally thought of as an easy form of lubricant, but according to Dweck, Vaseline or any other type of petroleum product can actually be source of infection in the vagina.
According to Dweck, "Sometimes when people have a yeast infection and they feel like [yogurt on a tampon] is a more natural way to treat it. Probably not a great idea. Bacteria and yeast love dark, moist places so I think that could be causing of infection." If you suspect you have a yeast infection, get checked out by a doctor and if she gives her okay, treat it with Monistat, an easy over-the-counter treatment, instead of yogurt.
For starters, the old wives' tale is a lie: vegetables cannot take root inside your vagina and grow. There are some major concerns with putting veggies in there, though, according to Dardik. "Vegetables have pesticides, so you're putting pesticides in your vagina which I don't really recommend, and you can have them break off and have little bits and pieces that stay there for rather unhealthy amounts of time which, again, I don't recommend. But nothing takes root, it'll just rot."
"We see 'vaginal pH havoc,' if you will, break out from [using a toy in the vagina that has just been used for anal play]," says Dweck. "If you want to use a toy in the anal area, first of all, remember that it has to have some sort of a retrieval device, a string or something along that line. My husband happens to be a colon and rectal surgeon, so I hear of toys getting stuck in the colon because there is nothing to remove it. If you want to switch back and forth between vaginal and anal play then I would definitely wash the toy in between, and you may want to use a condom on some of the toys as well."
"The blood supply to the inside of the vagina is so rich that even the smallest cut can cause incredible amounts of bleeding and although it's a forgiving area and typically will heal, that's not a chance that you really want to take," says Dweck.
"I can only imagine a handle getting stuck inside the vagina or some trauma being caused, so I can't really condone that," Dweck insists.
"I've heard of the practice of putting alcohol on a tampon and putting it into the vagina for advanced absorption and getting a buzz off of that," says Dweck. "I would say that sounds like it would be horribly uncomfortable and can cause damage to the vaginal mucous so I definitely wouldn't advise that."
Yes, the phone vibrates, but it doesn't belong inside you. "I mean there's a battery in there, that could certainly be a problem," says Dweck.
This can definitely traumatize your lady parts in a flash—just ask this woman who tried it and ended up on Sex Sent Me To The ER !
Dweck experienced a horror story of her own when a patient came to her office after inserting a whipped cream aerosol container, complete with an attached cap, into her vagina ("because the shape of the top of it was a little bit phallic.") Terrifyingly enough, "a couple hours later we were in the operating room removing it because it had caused so much trauma."
Lest we forget about vagazzling , the hottest trend of 2010 (and don't you worry, it's still kickin' in 2015), Dweck is here to remind us to be careful about the placement of those nifty rhinestones, because the glue used in the process can be an irritant. "Vagazzling is probably not an issue on the outside [of the vagina] but don't put it on the inside. Some people have sensitive tissue and they get a reaction to the glue." Case in point: keep the rhinestones in the same place you might normally put a landing strip, and nowhere else.
If that vibration of a toothbrush floats your boat, "use it clitorally rather than inside the vagina so that it's external stimulation," says Dweck, though as a general rule, she doesn't really recommend you put any household items in there. That's what vibrators are for!
"This is rare, I've seen it once in my 24 years of practice," says Dweck, "but probably one of the worst experiences that I ever had was someone putting a small tiny animal in their vagina as part of their sexual play, so obviously I think that's totally out." Enough said.
The ultra-simple solution to avoid putting household no-nos in your hoo-ha? Get yourself some quality sex toys . "Women are very comfortable nowadays going and getting a vibrator," says Dr. Dardik. "They don't really feel like they need to sort of, you know, experiment with what's at hand...All the vibrators or dildos [that are of quality] are made from sterile material that doesn't hold bacteria, so they can be cleaned, they're safe, they don't change the vaginal pH, they don't attract bacteria, so they're the better option."
Be picky when choosing a toy, and opt for a high-end product from a trustworthy company, because some sex toys could leak chemicals called phthalates , which may be harmful to your health. If a brand new toy smells strongly of chemicals (that indescribable "new plastic" smell we all recognize) when you first open it, it's a strong indicator that it could be made with phthalates, which you should take into account when deciding whether and how you want to use it. If you plan to put the toy inside your vagina, first be sure that there are no instructions on the packaging that say "for external use only"—and if you do spot any, take them seriously. Try quality sellers like Babeland , Good Vibrations , and The Pleasure Chest (they sell toys online as well as in brick-and-mortar stores in case you'd like to shop from the privacy of your couch) to find toys and sexual health information you can actually trust. If you're on a budget, affordable sex toys made by Trojan are available on Amazon and at local drugstores. (And check here for some SELF-approved toy suggestions based on your preferences!)
SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.
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Every woman has some weird vagina stories . Every. Woman.
It’s just pretty damn difficult to difficult to navigate that thing sometimes. From sex to periods to foreign objects … No woman gets through life without some tales to tell.
So, in the spirit of honesty and sisterhood (but mostly laughs), we thought we’d provide a place for people to tell their weird vagina stories.
We crowd-sourced a bunch of crazy tales from a group of brave women (all anonymous of course), and these were the most… striking ones that came back to us.
“If my friend ever knew I was telling this story she would kill me but… When we were young and she had just got her period , her mum gave her tampons but didn’t really tell her what to do with them. One day at school she kept complaining that it didn’t seem like her tampon was working. She said she could feel it and her undies were still covered in blood.
When I asked her to explain to me how she had put it in I figured out the problem: She had put the tampon up her bum. Seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life, poor thing. We joke about it now, but she was so mortified.”
“It was dark one night and my hubby and I were about to do the deed. I reached over to the night stand and grabbed some lube, but a couple of minutes later we knew something wasn’t right. We switched the lights on and I had accidently used toothpaste! It wasn’t that bad – just a bit tingly. And god knows why toothpaste was on the bedside table. That’s just what happens when you have kids I guess.”
“I thought I could smell something weird one day, but I didn’t think anything of it. About an hour later I was running on the treadmill and my daughter walked past and said she could smell something gross as well. I was panicking that it was BO, but she said it smelled like something else. Something ‘fishy’.
Then it dawned on me. I ran to the bathroom and checked – I had a tampon in my vagina… But I hadn’t had my period for over a week. Disgusting, I know. I just completely forgot about it.”
“My sister was showering at my place once, and we have a really small bathroom. The shower is one of those ones that sits over the bath. Anyway, I suppose she wasn’t used to the space, and when she bent over to pick up the shampoo, the sharp edge of the bath tap went up into her vagina. Like, right up in there.
She got a huge cut inside her vagina. She was so petrified at the amount of blood that she called an ambulance. She ended up in the ER with several stitches. She was in so much pain. It was pretty funny though.”
“My boyfriend and I were pretty drunk, and we ended up having an epic fight. He decided at one point that he wanted to leave, and in my completely logical drunk brain, I thought the best way to stop him from drunk-driving would be to hide his car-key up my vajayjay. I eventually fell asleep and only remembered it was there when I woke up in the morning, really uncomfortable…”
“Okay, this is pretty gross. I was with my first boyfriend, and as you do with your first, we were experimenting with all different kinds of sex stuff for the first time. One night, we decided to see what it would be like for him to go down on me. Anyway, after a couple of minutes of him down there, I could feel something really wet. I couldn’t figure out what it was, so I sat up to take a look.
He had puked. He was so grossed out by what he was doing that he had actually puked all over my vagina. About ten years later, I found out he was gay, so that made me feel a little better – vaginas in general turned him off, not just mine!”
Do you have a weird/mortifying vagina story to share? (Go on, everybody does…)
Just goes to show how immature, a lot of women really are.what ever your cotton candy is making you feel like there's no need to be embarrassed about it.she's the equivalent of the universe, no doubt God gave her to you based off the stars and galaxy.you 're going to have those same symptoms that surround planet earth.so appreciate her that way.
Literally a day after reading this and thinking to myself 'I don't have any stories like this!' I unfortunately found myself with one of my own -
While having sex with my boyfriend I noticed blood was suddenly everywhere. Thinking my period had just come incredibly early we both rushed to the shower, and it was only then when I realised I'd actually somehow split my labia open...I've never been in so much pain or seen so much blood in my life, and it still hurts to walk!
Anna Swan is reported to have had the biggest vagina ever in recorded history. The Scot was 7’5-1/2″, her husband was 7’11”, and she delivered the biggest newborn ever recorded: his head was 19″ around. Do the math.
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Vaginas ! So strange. So mysterious. So essential a component of the female anatomy. Sure, you may have a vagina. Or maybe you’re just curious about vaginas. Vaginas are like snowflakes. No two vaginas are alike. Of course, some vaginas are more exceptional than others. Like Hazel Jones, the woman who was so brave as to go on morning television to talk about her, not one, but two vaginas. Click through to find out more about Hazel’s lady flowers and other amazing vaginas in our vagina-tastic list.
Twenty-seven-year-old UK woman, Hazel Jones, went on morning television to talk about her one in a million vagina. Or should I say two in a million? Hazel suffers from a condition called uterus didelphys, which is a fancy way of saying the woman has two uteruses and two vaginas. This means she lost her virginity twice, suffers through double heavy periods each month, and can get pregnant twice at once if she’s not careful. She’s declined to have surgery to correct the problem because of the possible risks. I give her credit for dealing with so much lady plumbing. [ Huffington Post ]
Hazel is not alone. Lauren Williams is yet another chick with two vaginas. She has a bicornuate uterus, which means she has two vaginas, two cervixes, and two uteruses. I don’t know what I would do with the extra vagina. Rent it out?
In 1975, performance artist Carolee Schneeman stood on a table, covered herself in mud, and extracted a scroll from her vagina. Then, she read it. The paper evidence from Interior Scroll is now displayed as a work of art. And what has your vagina done lately?
In 1999, adult film star Houston had sex with a purported 620 men in one day, resulting in “The World’s Biggest G**gb**g 3.” In reality, there were about 125 dudes there. Still, nothing to sneeze at.
Tatiata Kozhevnikova has the world’s strongest vagina. She can lift 31 lbs. with hers. She’s even listed in Guinness World Records. And has special vagina barbells. OMG. WTF.
“Susan” was born without a vagina. As it turns out, one in 4,000 women are born with congenital absence of the vagina. How’s that work? “Externally, the genital area is perfectly normal, with clitoris, labia, and urethra all in place. But where the vagina should be there is only a small dimple or indentation.” Some opt for surgery. Susan “succeeded in creating her own vagina through the dilatation, or pressure technique.” I am speechless.
In America, women undergo plastic surgery to have their labia trimmed. (Read one woman’s testimony: “I Had Labiaplasty Surgery.”) In Rwanda, women engage in labia stretching. In their culture, elongated labia are considered an asset and is perceived to result in better sex for both partners. The World Health Organization considers the practice female genital mutilation. Others see it as part of a long-standing tradition.
Maoni Vi of Capetown, South Africa, has pubic hair that is 28-inches long. But does she braid it? That I do not know.
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TheFrisky.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.
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