Did I Have An Orgasm

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Did I Have An Orgasm
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Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals. 

Rachel Varina
Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona ) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries).


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It’s not always as explosive as movies make it seem.
While sex is one of those things we all love to talk about, it’s a completely different experience for everyone. Some people prefer oral sex , some people lean toward anal , some people like no sex , and some people like all sex .
Regardless of whatever kind of sex you’re having (or not having), one of the main goals for pretty much everyone: experiencing an orgasm . In fact, having an orgasm is usually the determining factor of whether or not the sex was “good.”
But because every body is different and people experience pleasure differently, it can be hard to know when you are or aren’t actually having an orgasm. And that’s why we’re breaking down what an orgasm is, how to have one , and how to have a better one so you can stop googling and start getting off.
But just so we’re clear, orgasms are not the be-all and end-all, folks. Sure, it’s great if you have one, but it’s also great if whatever you’re experiencing just feels really, really good. There are tons of reasons to have sex—and not all involve orgasms.
Medically speaking, an orgasm is defined as the changes in the body when there’s intense pleasure that causes an increase in pulse rate and blood pressure, explains ob-gyn Jessica Shepherd , MD. Orgasms can also cause spasms of the pelvic muscles that cause contractions in the vagina and contractions of the urethra in penises, she adds.
Gender aside, an orgasm is biologically caused by the same thing for everyone: stimulation. For some people, that’s genital stimulation. For others, it’s breast, skin, or even mental stimulation.
However you get there, one of the most desirable parts of orgasm is the ~ feel-good ~ chemicals that are released. Dopamine, oxytocin, and prolactin flood the body after climax making you feel relaxed, peaceful, satisfied, and bonded to your partner(s).
“Part of what makes orgasms so glorious is the fact that no two are the same,” says Astroglide resident sexologist Jess O’Reilly , PhD. “Even a universal definition for orgasm cannot be agreed upon, as our subjective experiences do not always align with scientific conclusions.”
While the science is still evolving, the pros do know a thing or two. First of all, according to a 2017 study , only 18 percent of people with vaginas are able to orgasm from intercourse alone. In fact, Lelo sexpert and author of Becoming Cliterate Laurie Mintz , PhD, notes “the overwhelming majority” of people with vaginas need clitoral stimulation, either alone or coupled with penetration.
Even those who are orgasming during penetration (whether vaginally or via the anus) usually have the clitoris to thank. “ The clitoris is a vast internal organ, not just the ‘nub’ you see on the outside,” explains Mintz. “Most scientists will tell you all orgasms involve the clitoris, no matter where the stimulation that results in orgasm occurs.”
It is also important to note that some people simply can’t orgasm . (And yes, this is completely normal.) That doesn’t mean you don’t get the benefits of sex though. “Several studies show that orgasm is not necessary to have a deeply pleasurable and fulfilling sex life,” says family, marriage, and sex therapist Rachel Smith. “Often, it’s just the icing on the cake.”
When you think of an orgasm, you’re probably picturing your hips bucking to the sky. And while that’s one (very fun type), there are actually multiple different types of orgasms someone can have.
“This may come as a surprise to many people, but orgasms actually happen in our brain, not in our genitals,” says Smith. “Our skin is our largest sexual organ, while our brain is the most important one.”
While Mintz explains scientists are still debating whether there are different types of genital orgasms (think clitoral , A-spot , G-spot , etc.), they do know there are other ways to come that don’t involve touching anything below the belt:
A major win for people with vagina owners: The limit does not exist when it comes to the number of possible orgasms per sesh. “Women having up to 100 has been documented. However the general range is about two to five,” says Mintz.
Still, plenty of people are perfectly content with just the one orgasm, and “putting pressure on oneself to have multiple orgasms (or anything else) is detrimental since pressure and sex do not mix well,” explains Mintz. “Goal-oriented sex (i.e., the goal to orgasm, the goal to have more than one orgasm) is most likely going to result in the opposite (no orgasm).”
If you want to try to go for more than one, Smith says it’s important to take things slow and switch it up. It usually happens “when partners take their time to not rush a sexual experience and incorporate different types of sexual stimulation with a special focus on clitoral play.”
Dr. Shepherd explains that thanks to the neurochemicals released during orgasm, an orgasm can feel like a sensual trance and create a state of sexual ecstasy that you can feel both physically and psychologically. Simply put, an orgasm is “the heightened sexual excitement and gratification sensed and then followed by relaxation,” she adds.
There are some physical signals that can clue you in if you’re on your way too. When you’re aroused, your heart beats faster, your breathing quickens, your nipples become erect, and your genitals become engorged with blood. As arousal climbs, these sensations increase until you orgasm.
While the physical process is generally similar for most people, the actual orgasmic experience varies, which is why it’s actually possible to have an orgasm and not realize that you’ve had one.
Granted, this usually happens if your expectations come from porn or media, which tends to depict orgasms more one-dimensionally like screaming, squealing, and convulsing. But in real life orgasms vary, and they’re not all going to be earth-shattering.
“Sometimes, it can feel like you have to be ripped off the walls, other times it may just be a little blip on the radar,” explains Smith. If you’re unsure, ob-gyn Amy Roskin, chief medical officer of The Pill Club , suggests looking for “muscle contractions or spasms, heavy breathing, and a flushed face” to start.
You might also want to take inventory of how you’re feeling. Relaxed? Accomplished? Super close with your partner? Those are all signs that your body released those feel-good chemicals post-climax.
That said, if you’re taking note of all the signs—and you have your expectations in check—and you’re still unsure, chances are you’re not reaching your peak, says Mintz.
If you suspect that you aren’t climaxing, you might be able to learn to by becoming familiar with your body and how it reacts to sexual stimulation. All the experts agree that some solo play is a great place to start. Try out a few masturbation techniques to see what feels good by varying up your touch and intensity.
It also helps to focus on what you’re feeling in the moment rather than worrying about achieving the goal of orgasm. As sex therapist Vanessa Marin has pointed out , “Deep breathing is a fantastic way to let go of distracting thoughts.”
Once you’ve mastered your own domain, you’ll be better able to let your partner know what turns you on. If you want to try to orgasm via penetration, O’Reilly suggests giving the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) a try as it “allows you to simultaneously squeeze the shaft of the penis [or toy] between your thighs, grind your clitoris against the pelvis bone, and enjoy the snug fit of penetration.”
If you’re able to orgasm but you want to turn things up, don't be afraid to bring toys into the mix, Mintz suggests experimenting beyond clitoral vibrators once you have the hang of them. “Try rabbit vibrators , such as Lelo’s SORAYA Wave . It may be that your orgasm will be more intense by combining clitoral and vaginal stimulation,” she says.
Looking for toys that fit you and your body can even be its own sexy form of foreplay whether you do it solo or with a partner, so don’t be afraid to get them into the mix and going on a little shopping spree.
Regardless, it’s important to remember not everyone can achieve orgasm , either with a partner or ever, and that’s absolutely normal . Open communication with your partner and talking with a sex therapist can help—but the fun of sex is in the exploration, which encompasses so much more than an orgasm. So let go and enjoy, no matter what the climax looks like.

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Last updated on June 16, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz . 
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here ...
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When you experience an orgasm you feel a change in your body. You feel intense pleasure, your heart begins to pump so fast, and your blood pressure increases. Orgasms don’t only depend on the penis or vaginal penetration to happen, it goes beyond that and involves pleasure in various ways .
It is easier to tell when men reach orgasm than women, and this is because for every woman getting to the climax varies; some ejaculate or squirt while others don't. The feelings are also different for ladies, some people feel the same way every time they have an orgasm while others experience something special with different partners.
Are you still wondering if you have ever had an orgasm? It's very easy to feel like something is wrong with you after trying different positions and maybe even ‘penises’ with no 'evident' success. 
I know how it feels to be so unclear about an issue as important as having an orgasm or not having a personal story to share when your friends or boyfriends ask you about it. If you are in such a situation then don't worry, you are in the right place. Here are 15 ways to know if you have ever had an orgasm.
This is one way to know you had an orgasm, these contractions usually occur when you are sexually stimulated and as it goes by the feeling gets more intense until you climax. 
Research has shown that some women can actually control their vaginal contractions, others can’t. The good thing about these contractions is that it makes the sexual experience enjoyable not just for you but for your partner as well. Never try forcing a contraction though, let it flow as you go, so you can enjoy every moment and probably have an orgasm.
This usually happens when you are at the peak of getting an orgasm, your heart rate begins to increase rapidly and becomes faster and ‘louder’. This is one sign that you can't hide; it’s always obvious. This is a physiological, emotional, and physical experience. 
The trick is to stay calm and continue with the flow. As your heart rate increases, it means you're almost there!
When you have an orgasm your muscles might flutter or flare-up, for some women you feel like a muscle is twitching in your vagina. The main reason for this is because your clitoris has numerous nerves and these nerves are being triggered.
At this point your legs might just begin to close up and when it stops you could feel weak and a bit shaky too. But not everyone twitches, so you need to understand your body. Just because you didn't twitch doesn't mean you didn't get an orgasm.
Are you wondering why your fingers and toes curl during sex ? You don't need to be worried or surprised, our body parts are all connected by nerves, and that’s why the whole body could respond in different ways when you climax. So, your toes or fingers could naturally curl up just before an orgasm takes place. 
In most cases, this isn't intentional, because you can't be in control of those hormones when they get triggered. Curling usually occurs when the orgasm is very intense. So, don't feel weird or shy when you experience this, it’s perfectly normal and it means you have gotten to the peak.
I know you might be thinking it's normal to feel hot when having sex, two bodies are actually in contact. Yes, this is true, but what I mean is, right before the release, your body temperature would most likely increase.
It’s either the body temperature increases or the skin begins to turn red, and sometimes, you’ll notice that you're sweating profusely. So, pay attention to your body temperature when having sex you might actually have had an orgasm, at the same time, an increase in your body temperature could simply mean the action is hot and steamy, but nothing more than that.
When you have sex with your partner, one of the most pleasurable moments is when you reach orgasm. At this point, different hormones are released. When you moan so loud and grip your man very tight, you do these things unconsciously. Things you wouldn't want to do normally like muttering strange words or shouting in different languages. 
When you have an orgasm, the tempo of your screaming increases. It isn't the same as when you are having regular sex. One thing many ladies don’t know is moaning during sex could actually stimulate an orgasm, it’s like communicating with your mind and body to get in tune with the pleasure you’re already feeling. 
It is important to know that not all women squirt. This solely depends on your body, so when you hear others talking about squirting don't ever feel bad. You could actually release without squirting. This process is also called ejaculation, and yes women ejaculate too. 
Ejaculation occurs when sex is very intense and when both parties are fully involved in the sexual experience. Releasing is a very difficult part for many women. That’s because their bodies are not just ‘programmed’ that way.
Have you ever felt so fulfilled after sex you either wanted to sleep or have a calming warm shower? Having good sex with your partner is one of the best feelings in the world. Something in you just makes you feel at that moment that you are complete and satisfied, most especially if you haven't had sex in a while.
At this stage, you feel good and very excited that you forget all about your worries and just focus on the pleasure. If stimulation continues, it is very possible to attain multiple orgasms. So, if you want to have countless orgasms then jump into it because you are fully involved in the process at this point.
This all starts from the clitoris, the clitoris is surrounded by pelvic muscles and there is a nerve within that region that triggers an orgasm. When your pelvic wall and your uterus contract this leads to an orgasm and this can take place within 8 seconds of intercourse and gets more intense as you continue. 
But this isn't true for all women. For some women, based on their experiences, it takes quite a long time to reach the climax. And also in some cases, if your pelvic muscles are weak, getting an orgasm might be very difficult. This usually occurs more in older women.
Another way to know you had an orgasm is that your vulva becomes very sensitive and tender. At this point, you don't want your partner to touch you. The feeling makes you want to be on your own, especially after having multiple orgasms. 
Don't think you have an issue. This happens to many people, and it is perfectly normal for this sensitivity to last for some time. The rate at which people get sensitive varies. For some people, they can have sex with their partner minutes or seconds after, while for others they completely lose interest. Everyone can't react the same way to things.
Orgasms can make you feel very calm. Have you ever had a very hectic day, and when you got home, you had some great sex with your partner, and right after, all the ups and downs or anger from the day's activity just reduced? 
This is the way orgasms make you feel. You just have some level of inner peace and joy within you. If you have ever felt this way, then it is one of the signs that you have had orgasms. But take note, for some people this doesn't necessarily mean you have had one.
Orgasms are great for the skin. Have you ever had sex, and a few minutes later people start telling you your skin looks good? Or ever looked at the mirror every time you get some good sex and you notice your face is free from irritations. Rather you see your face glowing, looking fresh and beautiful?
A researcher once wanted to be sure if this works, so she had 14 orgasms in one week and for all 14 times, her skin was far better than it was when she didn't have orgasms. So, having clearer skin is one of the signs that you actually do have orgasms.
When you have orgasms, the hormones released helps to aid good sleep. Have you ever had good sexual pleasure with your partner and after everything, you felt like sleeping? When you get orgasms, it is natural for you to feel sleepy. 
This doesn't work for everybody though. But from research, many people tend to feel sleepy after having an orgasm, especially multiple orgasms. This is a positive sign that you reached an orgasm and everything is perfectly okay with you.
When you orgasm, you feel like there’s a release of tension in your vulva this is because blood rushes to the area that’s being stimulated. Many people notice that after their release, their whole body comes to a point of rest. They just feel very relaxed and relieved. This is one of the major signs you have had orgasms.
Due to the high supply of blood to areas like your vulva, when you orgasm,
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