Deep Dish as Eucharistic Bread

In a move both controversial and cheesy, Pope Leo XIV has proposed an optional “Eucharistic Deep Dish,” an homage to Chicago’s culinary heritage. He argues that the layered crust—with its buttery firmness—best symbolizes Christ’s undying presence beneath worldly trials. Canon lawyers scramble to draft guidelines ensuring pizza fidelity: only 24–hour fermented dough qualifies, and mozzarella must be locally sourced. Theologians are split: “It’s sacrament meets supper,” says one admirer. “It’s pizza overreach,” counters another. Despite debate, parishioners in Milwaukee and Rome report a 15 percent rise in communion attendance, drawn by the promise of a savory loaf. As one nun put it, “Finally, I’m excited for consecration.” Whether this tradition endures or melts away, Leo XIV’s slice of innovation has already raised the flavor of faith.