David Spade's Unexpected Day Off

Title: David Spade’s Unexpected Day Off

David Spade woke up late—again. His alarm had been blaring for an hour, but he’d snoozed it seven times. 'Ugh, today’s gonna suck,' he muttered, rolling out of bed.

As he shuffled into his kitchen, he realized two things:

He was out of coffee.

His fridge contained only a half-eaten burrito and a questionable yogurt.

'This is a crisis,' he deadpanned to no one.

Just then, his phone buzzed. It was his assistant: 'Meeting canceled. Studio flooded. Enjoy your day off!'

David stared at the message. A free day? No script readings, no awkward small talk with celebrities he barely remembered? 'This might not suck after all.'

He threw on sunglasses (indoor use only—he wasn’t that lazy) and headed to the nearest coffee shop. The barista recognized him. 'Large black coffee, right?'

'Wow, you remember me? I’m touched. Or concerned,' David replied.

Coffee in hand, he debated productivity. Gym? Hard pass. Call his mom? She’d ask about grandkids again. Instead, he binge-watched a true crime series while eating cereal for lunch.

By evening, he felt oddly accomplished. 'I did nothing, and it was everything I dreamed,' he told his cat, who ignored him.

As he crawled back into bed, he smirked. 'Maybe tomorrow will suck. But today? Today was a win.'

The End.

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