Dating High Heels
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Dating High Heels
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As a tall woman , if you limit yourself to only dating taller men, you shrink your potential dating pool by about 80 percent or more. As tempting as it is to make height a hard-and-fast requirement, doing so really sells yourself, and a lot of great guys…well, short.
That's not to say that dating shorter men won't invite the occasional awkward moment. Societal stereotypes dictate that in heterosexual romantic partnerships, a man should be bigger and taller than his female partner. While open-minded, kind people know that size is hardly an indication of compatibility, you might encounter jokes or comments that are in completely poor taste. Even when you know the judgments of others should have no bearing on your relationship, it's not unreasonable to try and make accommodations to avoid the conversation altogether.
You might decide that as a tall woman dating a shorter man, you won't wear heels. But is that fair to you? Is it anti-feminist, even?
The truth is, you can't answer this question in a broad and sweeping way. There is no one right answer for every tall woman! Tall means different things to different people, and some women are five inches taller than their companion while some are only one or two inches taller. How you feel about your body in relation to your partner (and how that affects what you wear) is entirely personal.
That said, you can ask yourself a few questions, imagine potential scenarios or make some minor compromises that could make you and your man feel great when you're out together.
1. Ask yourself: If you were going out with friends or a taller man, would you hesitate to put on your favorite heels?
If the answer to this question is a swift "No," then there's really no reason to compromise for your shorter man. This man should (and probably does) love you the way you are and loves you the most when you feel best about yourself. If you feel best in your heels , wear them with confidence and trust that your date is just elated that a bombshell such as yourself has chosen him.
2. Does the idea of towering over your date bother you?
The choice to wear heels or flats in this scenario is actually not about your partner—it's about you. What makes you feel comfortable, sexy, relaxed and beautiful? If it doesn't bother you, wear whatever shoes you want! If it does? Then wear flats! As we said above, presuming you're not dating a total buffoon, this guy knew what he was getting himself into, and clearly admires every inch of you. Any man whose insecurity is sent into overdrive around a taller woman is not the man for you.
If you've got a serious amount of inches on your boyfriend, date or husband and it bothers you but you love heels—you could consider switching out a striking four-inch heel for one that's only 1.5 or 2 inches. A stacked or kitten heel will still give your legs a bit of length, but won't boost you up that much higher.
Keep this in mind: There are so many gorgeous, confident, powerful and successful women who happily and boldly date men who are shorter. Take Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban for example (as well as her former paramour, Tom Cruise). Chrissy Teigen is taller than husband John Legend, Helen Lasichanh is taller than her musician husband, Pharrell, and model Coco Rocha is much taller than her husband James Conran.
The fact is, the decision to wear heels should hinge solely on your own comfort with the idea, not on the comfort of the guy you're dating. No fashion-loving female should feel obligated to give up the shoes she loves for a guy who isn't confident enough to love her in them.
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By
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December 3rd 2015
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There they are. The black and beige pair with the tiny hole at the front for your perfectly pedicured toenails. The zipper on the side to hold your foot at a perfect angle. The stiletto to give your calf that slender, yet muscular bulge.
These are the best-of-the-best, my ultimate favorite, bought-at-a-bargain price, super steal, I-look-hot heels. And even if they pinch the sides of my feet, even if they rub against my pinky toe, even if I might get a tiny blister on the side heel—they are worth every minute.
Why, as women, do we love heels so much? Because with a simple pair we are transformed. We’re not just women. Suddenly we’re bada$$es with a purpose. We’re strong. We’re classy. We’re sophisticated. And we kick butt.
So here it is. Confessions of an avid high-heel wearer:
Yep, I’ll be honest. There’s a closet full of dresses and skirts, but I can’t freaking decide. I’ll keep pulling things off the hanger and holding them up to my chin, feeling blah, then getting annoyed that I have to re-hang them and start the struggle all over again.
Then I turn to the shoes. What goes on your feet can make or break your outfit. And honestly, there’s nothing better than slipping into a fabulous pair of heels. So when I’m feeling stuck, I’ll grab a pair and work my wardrobe around my feet. Easy peasy.
We all have those ride-or-die heels. Mine’s the super tall, super black pair with the open toe and the ankle strap. Whenever I put them on, I feel like a gladiator or something. Like a queen who could overthrow the world with the kick of her foot. So when I need a confidence boost, you better believe those babies are on my feet.
Ahh, the sad truth about women who love heels. If your man’s too short to stand next to you in your three-to five-inch lifts, there’s a chance it might not work out. I don’t know about you, but I have to date a man who’s at least a few inches taller than I am, even in my tallest stilettos. There’s something about reaching down to kiss a guy that just doesn’t work for me. On the other hand, there’s something incredibly sexy about my man bending down to kiss me.
There are certain sacrifices to be made when you are an avid heel-wearing woman. That means beauty over pain on occasion (okay, maybe even a good amount of the time).
I have a shiny pair of black low-heels with a button strap that crosses over the front like a childhood Mary Jane. They’re adorable. And I’ve worn them since the eighth grade. I’m not kidding. They’re two sizes too small, but my foot can squeeze into them, with just a little pressure on the pinky and big toe. Reasonable, right?
I keep them around because they’re just so dang cute! And sometimes when you find a good pair of heels, you just keep them until they self-destruct.
Boyfriend heels are the pair you can’t really walk in, but they look too cute not to wear . So you grab your significant other’s arm, and he guides your boss walk. (Yes, you can still be a kick butt woman with a man on your arm). It’s an intimate thing, really. He’ll be your partner in crime as you both conquer your evening out.
My closet contains the open-toe heels, the extra high heels, the teacher-heels, the conservative heels, the casual heels, the edgy heels, the fancy-schmancy heels, and the wear-this-in-any-weather-heels.
The no-snow heels are the ones you have to worry about in the winter months. These are the ones with no-grip whatsoever. The heels that are about looks more than durability. No matter how perfectly they match with your tights and cocktail dress, do not—I repeat, do not—try to wear them out when Mother Nature isn’t on your side. It’s much better to wear the less-than-great heels than be a flopping fish on the ice. Trust me, I learned that the hard way.
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you don't they hurt some women and if she doesn't wear them there is probably a reason...does it bother you that much?
@frontblunt333 :
It is not that it bothers me but on her birthday I wanted to buy her something special so after few gifts I took her shoping said just anything you like babe well she got a couple pair of high heels and some other outfits. Last week my friends and I took our girlfriend for a semi-formal dinner. My girlfriend but on a nice office like suit you know: Short skirt shirt and a nice jacket. And instead of putting a nice matching pair of heels she put on slip ones or something like that, now in my eyes that killed her outfit.
@mstugis5 :
Now you've said that, it's obvious she's dressing for comfort (in the shoe department, at least).
Heels do look nice, and the majority of guys find them attractive, but shit they're uncomfortable. Try them out, you'll see what I mean. Not that I've ever tried them myself. Honest.
But seriously, if you dig heels in that way, you should suggest using them in the bedroom. It can be pretty hot watching your girlfriend pick out a pair of sexy heels in the store, when all you're doing is imagining what she's going to look like wearing them and nothing else later on.
A friend of mine never wears high heels, but has a wardrobe full of them. Curiosity got the better of me one day and I asked her "Hey Jane, why all the high heels if you never wear them?". She looked at me with a cheeky little grin and said "heels are for the bedroom".
Not ashamed to say that I felt a little aroused by that.
You can say you think she looks sexy in them (if she's worn them before). But don't expect much. You try walking around all night in a pair of stillettos, then get back to me on if you think that's a fair request. She should dress how she's comfortable, as long as she's dressing for the occasion. Unless I'm at a wedding or something, I don't wear high heels due to knee problems, and if some dude demanded I did, I'd drop him.
I have never worn high heels, and I never will. Too many structural foot issues, and the last thing I need to do is to fall down and break a leg or a hip. Men who insist women wear these dangerous shoes should only date women who love wearing these dangerous shoes. Then the problem becomes a "non-problem."
I suspect there is a larger problem here than saying "Babe, would you mind wearing heels more often?"
What is the real problem?
@mossgard :
If there was. Maybe that she doesn't dress nicely when I want her to or for some occasion she dresses to simple instead of looking like THE WOMAN in the room.
By complimenting how she looks when she's wearing them, of course. That being said - I hear they're awfully uncomfortable. Some women love wearing them, many don't. I'm a sucker for "shoes staying on" as much as the next guy but you gotta be reasonable about your expectations because wearing those is a bitch.
Ask her. Nicely. Why can't you say, "You look great babe. I'd love it if you wanted to wear those new heels you got for your birthday. You look so sexy in them." Or whatever floats your boat. The point is that you're expressing a preference, nothing more. She, of course, gets to have a preference about wearing them or not. And she gets the final word. I have a daughter who would dig my heels out of my closet to parade around in them in front of her mirror at the age of 5. I have daughters who never did that. You might be happier with the type who loves to strut her stuff.
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