Dating A Quiet Guy
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I am dating this wonderful guy named Dami. We have almost everything in common, we plan for our futures together, and we enjoy spending time with each other. Problem is, when we are together, we don't have much to talk about. Even when he calls me, he asks me how my day was, and that's the end of that. I can ask him a million questions about family, friends, himself, etc. and he will answer, but he doesn't continue the conversation himself. Sometimes, it seems like he calls me just to listen to my voice! While we are texting, or messaging on MySpace, though, he has LOADS to say! He's naturally a quiet person, I know, but what does this mean if he doesn't have much to say to me IN PERSON or ON THE PHONE? It's awkward to go on dates w/ him because he is so quiet, and we can't really go on a double date because neither of us has a friend with a significant other.
By the way, I am 15 years old, and he just turned 17 this month.
Thank you for your time and help in this matter...
Oh, I've talked to him about this. He said that he'll work on it. We are very open with each other about these kind of things. And I would never break up with him over something like this...I don't want to lose someone as special as him. After I told him that, though, he's still super quiet on the phone... =/
And it's not that he's not open...it's just that he's quiet. If I ask him something, he'll answer. But he doesn't CARRY ON the conversation...so then it feels like I am interrogating him when I keep asking him questions! ^_^
And he seems to be very comfortable with me...he's told me that he loves me, he cuddles with me, holds my hand, etc...
That isn't really all that uncommon. Many people are more comfortable expressing themselves via text or email than in person. It doesn't mean that he doesn't want to talk, it just shows that he doesn't feel very comfortable doing it. I have friends whose husbands are like that and they are great people. And, often a woman can really help a less talkative guy open up.
Most guys are not big talkers especially over the telephone. It is a bit of a concern that he doesn't talk too much when he is in person with you? Is that when you are in a group of people or is he still like that when you are together 1 on 1? Most quiet guys like talking to people 1 on 1 and are scarred of group situations!
One reason he could be so quiet is that he has never learnt some basic conversation skills. You may need to help him out and tell him he needs to hold a conversation in a joking kinda way so he doesn't feel embarrassed when you bring the subject up.
The only problem I can see for you guys if he is so quiet that he can't express verbally how much he cares for you then you might have some problems in the future. You are not going to ever make him be an extravert so if you are looking for that in a person you are with the wrong guy and it is best to leave him alone and move on.
Good Luck with it all. Seems like you have found a nice guy!
Source(s): Mr Quiet is a very quiet guy but can still hold a conversation!
He probably has a million things going on in his head and at the same time doesn't really know how to get it out through words, or doesn't know what to talk about. I have that issue sometimes. And as far as the phone thing, that's probably true that he just wants to hear the sound of your voice and on the dates he probably just enjoys your presents you know that enjoy the moment thing. That's the way some ppl just are, at the same time he's probably just afraid to say something stupid too. He could also just be one of those ppl that are just a good listener. But there isn't anything wrong with that, unfortunately "some" girls can find it boring and eventually leave them for funner more entertaining guys. He's just a shy quiet person that's all.
I think u have a great relationship! Ok, so computers are his comfort zone. Just go with it. It's nice that he wants u to call...it's sweet that he just wants to hear ur voice. I know it can be frustrating dating a quiet guy...but I think they're the best kind. He'll open up to u when he's comfortable. Ask his friends for advice on getting him to open up, maybe they'll have ideas, or hey, find out what his interests are, and join him, so then u can talk in a more comfortable, non threatening setting. There's no point in trying to get a quiet guy to talk, because either he'll shut off, or just bail, and u don't want that. Good luck.
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My friend was in a situation just like yours! Except that her guy didn't talk much even when text messaging or never came online ! At the end of the day,she becae quiet bored and eventually dumped him! poor guy. Bu then he fell for another one of my friends and couldnt confess his feelings until it was too late and now he doesnt even come out of the house.He was a great guy though. My suggestion is be patient ,get to know eachother more,start getting cofortable around eachother by doing fun stuff/activities and maybe then he'll start opening up in person and who knows you might have to come here again to ask for tips on how to shut him up!^^
Oh gosh!! I like him- he sounds sweet.
I dated a guy and it was exactly that way; some people just don't find converstation easy. Texting and myspace seems easier because they can plan what they are going to say.
It depends how long you have been dating; if he'll grow into conversation as you become more comfortable with one another.
Seriously though, Be honest with him. Relationships should be built on honesty. He seems to really like you and I'm sure he'll undrestand.
This is quite a hard situation. Try, when talking about yourself or thing pertaining to you, only giving half the story -- leave out some important bits, so that he will have to ask questions!
I think it just means he's quiet, and maybe a little shy. At least you've found a guy that listens, even if you can't quite get him to talk as much as you'd like! :)
He might call just to hear your voice like you said.
Its a very pleasant feeling to hear the voice of your loved one.
I think you might want to ask him something like "why are you so quiet all the time, are you shy?"
And then he may get the hint or something....
I personally am the same way, except online i can talk for hours
im kinda like your bf. i can be more open when im not talking to that person directly, its just the way we are. chances are, when he goes to colllege, thats gonna change. he iwll become more extraverted (talkitive and outgoing). for now, make sure u have billions of converstation topics. what is hes favortive thing. talkign to him about that might open him up.
He probably gets nervous when talking to you. Some get so nervous it takes them awhile just to answer a simple question.
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136 Fantastic Questions to Ask Your Boyf...
There's something attractive about a shy, quiet guy; their lack of words give them an air of mystery. But how do you talk with a shy, quiet guy without scaring him away?
Men who are both shy and quiet may be that way because they get exhausted by dealing with people, or they may feel awkward in social situations. There is also a chance he may be insecure or unsure of his ability to carry on an intelligent conversation. Either way, your goal is to make him as comfortable as possible if you want to have an actual conversation.
You will probably have to carry the burden of most of the conversation, at least at first. He's going to want to feel you out and figure out if you're someone he wants to have a conversation with or not. While you don't want to barrage him with questions, you do want to ask a variety of open-ended questions - ones that he can't simply respond to with a "yes" or "no."
Shy guys may be more introspective and therefore more prone to moments of silent reflection. While this may feel like an awkward silence to you, for him it may be comforting. If his body language indicates that he is at ease, don't rush to fill the silence.
Men who are shy and quiet generally don't care for small talk, so a conversation about nothing, in particular, will probably not go well. Try talking about mutual interests or non-controversial current events. If you can capture his interest and manage to make him feel comfortable, there is a chance he'll start navigating the direction of the conversation. Here are some possible openers for your conversation:
Even if you have a stellar intro to your conversation, you want to have some topics ready in case the conversation stalls. If you rattle off topic after topic the conversation will seem scripted and weird to him, so make sure you follow the flow of the conversation. Check his verbal and non-verbal cues - no conversation can go on forever, so know when it's time to conclude. Look for these signs:
At the conclusion of the conversation, tell him you enjoyed talking to him and ask if you could talk again sometime soon. Agree to meet up or exchange contact information. Or, if you're feeling particularly bold, at the end of the conversation slip him your contact info and tell him, "This is how to get ahold of me. I look forward to hearing from you soon."
If you're trying to set up an opportunity to talk with a shy guy who you've not yet spoken to, it's acceptable in the Digital Age to first approach him via social media, as this may be a more comfortable setting for him to have a conversation. All the same rules apply: ask open-ended questions, don't bombard him with question after question, and look for signs that the conversation is coming to an end.
If your boyfriend is shy and quiet and you're looking for ways to have good conversations with him, here are some important tips beyond what's offered above:
If you're going to pursue a quiet guy, be prepared to do a great deal of the pursuing in the beginning. Shy guys need to feel comfortable before they'll open up to anyone and you can't force him to trust you.
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