Crazy Sex Ideas To Try
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Crazy Sex Ideas To Try
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25 Kinky Sex Positions Even Shy Women Should Try
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Okay first things first: Kinky sex isn't just about spanking.
Not that spanking is off limits or anything... Kink includes a whole spectrum of behaviors beyond BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism) though. It could involve anything from role playing, to blindfolds and feathery props, to having a threesome, or even doing some Broad City- style pegging .
“Kink is a broad term that generally refers to sexual practices that are ‘non-normative’ in that they extend beyond typical or common sexual behaviors,” explains Michael Aaron , Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and sexologist in New York.
The biggest rule: If you and your partner are both interested in kinky sex , have an open conversation about what it is about kink that's a turn-on, and what you're comfortable trying, says Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and sexologist, and director of The Intimacy Institute in Colorado. "Having a game plan and setting up a safe word is important,” she says.
From there,“take baby steps,” says Skyler. “Enjoy it, get acclimated, and then take a few more baby steps. Keep exploring until you find what feels good for you.”
If you’re not quite ready to dive in, watching a movie with an element of kink can be a great place to get some ideas, according to the experts (not to mention, a perfect way to heat up movie night). Just don’t make it porn, advises Skyler. “There are a lot of really bad and unsafe examples of BDSM in porn,” she explains.
For the record, the experts also don’t recommend 50 Shades of Grey , since not everyone in the kink community agrees with the way BDSM is portrayed in the film. Instead, cue up The Secretary on Netflix, advises Aaron.
Chances are, you have a scarf, a sleep mask, or a tie laying around your bedroom somewhere—tying one on deprives you (or your partner) of one of your main senses, making all the others—touch, taste, smell, sound—all the more electrifying. “In doing this, you can experience pleasure in a different way,” explains David Ortmann, L.C.S.W., a psychotherapist and sex therapist in New York and California. Blindfolding also underscores a kinky power imbalance, he says, leaving your partner at the mercy of your touch.
On that note, belts, ties, and scarfs can also be an easy, un-intimidating way to experiment with restraint (a.k.a. bondage). “Really, trying it out is as simple as using a bandana or scarf to restrain someone’s hands," Ortmann says.
You can also pick up a beginner's kink kit that includes things like blindfolds and fuzzy handcuffs, says Skyler. “Most sexuality stores sell beginner packages that also include things like a feather on a stick for sensation play or a soft flogger for spanking,” she says.
Before you freak out, BDSM dungeons can actually be a great place to observe kinky sex from the sidelines—the experts really recommend them. “Many local dungeons have beginner classes where you can practice things like rope tying and spanking,” says Skyler. This is also a great place to learn some kink safety tips.
But if you draw the line at the word “dungeon,” check out classes on kink that are offered by your local sex-positive sex shop to pick up some kinky tips in the bright light of day. Ortmann recommends The Pleasure Chest. “The people in there will treat you like you’re at Macy’s trying on a blouse—it’s very not scary,” he says.
Spanking can be a surprisingly intimate way to get into kink. “It can be something that’s actually bonding because it's tactile and involves skin-to-skin contact,” explains Ortmann. “But it also involves a power exchange.” Start light—a swat with your hand or a fuzzy padded flogger from your local sex-positive shop can be a good way to ease into things.
Whether your fantasy is a silk French maid get-up, hot cop outfit studded with leather, or a fuzzy animal print catsuit, costumes can be a fun way to get kinky. “Something I might say is 'we haven’t played with clothing yet—tell me what would make you feel sexy and naughty to be dressed in and tell me what turns you on to see me in,'” Ortmann says. This can also be a great segue into role playing.
Good old fashioned dirty talk can be a great way to start playing with the power dynamics that are so prevalent in kinky sex. “There are things that we can say to our partners to push their buttons,” Ortmann explains. For example, some kink connoisseurs find that being called derogatory names during sex gets them off.
Just tread carefully. “If something is loaded, like the word ‘whore,’ you want to check in with your partner before you use it,” says Ortmann. “Learn which words are powerful for them in a positive way—do they want to be coaxed and seduced or ordered?”
“Urinating on your partner [or being urinated on] is more common than people realize—it’s a hugely intimate act,” Ortmann says. “It can be incredibly humiliating and degrading for the receiver and incredibly powerful for the giver.”
It’s not for everyone, but if this kink has you intrigued, get your feet wet (pun intended) in the shower, Ortmann advises. Next time you’re taking a steamy shower together, ask your partner how they would feel if you peed. “The safest place to start that is really in the shower—you’re going to be clean in two seconds,” he says.
Voyeurism—giving your partner a strip tease, letting your partner watch you touch yourself, or simply enjoying being objectified while naked—is a more approachable kink. “It has a power dynamic but not a tremendous one,” says Ortmann. “It’s not so psychologically deep that you can’t just trade roles after 10 minutes.”
See a few interesting ideas but still shy about initiating? “I recommend couples use menus,” says Aaron. Here’s how it works: On your next date night, write down which kinky sex ideas sound interesting and have your partner do the same. When you’re done, swap menus and pick two things from each others' lists, Aaron explains.
“Now you’ve collectively chosen four items and need to collaborate on how to put a scene together,” he says. For example, come up with a story to role play that involves a little dress up, blindfolding, and getting spanked. “It can be a lot of fun sexually," says Aaron, "plus, working together this way also improves the relationship and intimacy."
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Yes, you can totally pull these off.
So you’ve mastered missionary and and done it a bazillion times already. It may even be your go-to by now. There's nothing wrong with that (there's a reason so many people are into it), but if you've got the urge to switch things up, you're not alone.
Remember: Experimentation and discovery are important parts of a healthy sex life, explains Donna Oriowo , PhD, a Maryland-based sex therapist. "Our bodies are constantly changing," Oriowo says. "The things that we did when we were younger may not work for us in the same way as when we're older."
This means that our bodies' wants, desires, and abilities will evolve naturally over time. "And we want to make sure that we're able to take full advantage of that," Oriowo says.
The next time you’re about to have sex, instead of resorting to your go-to moves, consider whipping out one of these crazy—or as we like to think about them, upgraded—sex positions.
If you’re into something more acrobatic, you can give the Butter Churner or the Standing Wheelbarrow a try. Or if you want a little more support during your next rendezvous, ask your partner to have sex Table-Top style. And if you want a full sensory experience, you’re going to want to try the Scoop Me Up, so that your S.O. can sneak in some neck kisses and caressing during sex. Trust: These positions will elevate your sex game and result in the toe-curling, back-arching orgasm you're looking for.
Shoutout to back support. If you want a position that's pleasurable and comfy, this one's a great option, says Oriowo. But don't take the level of comfort to mean the position is boring."It's great for viewing pleasure, especially if you do it in front of a mirror," Oriowo adds. This way, you get to watch yourself getting off.
Do it: Your partner sits on the edge of the bed and you sit on them, facing away.
Being eye-to-eye with your partner while making each other feel good is key for intimacy . "And there's that chest-to-chest aspect, as well" that Oriowo says brings it up a notch. The best part? Once you've mastered this position in private, you can take it for a spin outdoors. "Maybe one day you can do this one with some clothes on in places where you're trying to look discreet," Oriowo suggests.
Do it: You straddle them, wrapping your legs around their body (they keep their knees unlocked and thighs spread slightly). They stand and support you in their arms. You can start in a seated position and have them pick you up without disengaging. (Or for the truly bold, you can hop aboard from standing position!)
" I believe that doggy style is always in style," Oriowo says. The key to making it less basic? Incorporate some back play. People don't realize how hypersensitive they are on their back. So the next time you're doing it doggy style, have your partner glide a feather along your back during penetration. It's guaranteed to hype up the sensation. And as bonus—this position guarantees easy hair access. "If you're looking for pressure but not pain, grab from the root. And if you're looking for a bit more pain in that pleasure, grab from the end," Oriowo suggests.
Do it : Get on all fours, then have your partner kneel behind you, with their upper body straight up or slightly draped over you (ya know, like a humping dog).
Okay, okay, so this is basically spoon sex. But don't underestimate the position. There's a few easy ways to turn up the heat—starting with ear and neck play. "I believe that sex should be a full sensory experience wherever possible," Oriowo says. This position allows your partner to play into your ear and neck sensitivity (via kissing or whispering) while they're scooping you up and holding you close. Three words: Full body access.
Do it: Both of you lie on your sides, facing the same direction. You bring your knees up slightly while your partner slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind.
There's this intense coming together that creates serious intimacy, Oriowo points out. Plus, it's an ideal position to give your clitoris the attention it deserves by reaching down with your free hands and pleasuring yourself at the same time.
Do it: Sit on the bed facing each other with legs forward. Lift your partner’s right leg over your left and lift your right leg over their left. Come together so they can enter you. Now both of you lie back, your legs forming an X. Slow, leisurely gyrations replace thrusting.
"If you’re really into yoga, this a great position," says Jenni Skyler, PhD , of The Intimacy Institute and resident sexologist for Adam and Eve. This seemingly weird sex position lets your partner penetrate even deeper (which can be great if your S.O. has a smaller penis or is using a strap on). Too make it a little comfier, put a pillow beneath your shoulders.
Do it : Lie on your back with your legs raised and folded over so that your ankles are on either side of your head, while your partner squats and penetrates you.
Despite what the name suggests, there's no food involved in this freaky sex position (although, if you're into that, why not up the crazy factor?). Otherwise, this position allows for deep, powerful thrusts, but at a sideways angle that feels totally different and hot. "It's a really intimate position," explains Skyler. "You have a lot of eye contact and you're literally interwoven." It's great for couples who are looking for more depth of connection in addition to the physical stuff.
Do it: As your partner is kneeling over you, wrap one leg around their waist while the other leg rests under their butt.
Since you’re both controlling the movements, you can rock back and forth to get into a satisfying rhythm that works for the both of you. Truth be told, getting into this position might require some flexibility considering all that leg-over-leg action and hip spreading, Skyler says, but once you're there you can both lean back and let your pelvises put in work.
Do it: Sure, it resembles the crab walk, but in a crazy-sexy way. Your pelvis should be above his while your legs bend to the side of his body.
"This is a great position that's both sexy and relaxing," Skyler says. Your partner gets to take the reins with this one, and they'll be rewarded with an awesome view of your body—especially your face. (Wild, yet intimate—does it really get better than that?) Plus, your hands are free to explore your other erogenous zones .
Do it: If you like the Spoon sex position, you'll love the Spork. Instead of lying on your sides, you’ll stay flat on your back while your partner positions their body at a 90-degree angle in between your legs.
Don't let the innocent name fool you—this sex position will definitely make you feel totally naughty. Skyler recommends it for a partner with a particularly flexible penis or if you're planning on incorporating some other toys (think: the partner on top reaching down with a dildo in hand). Plus, from this lying position, you have easy access to fondle your partner's erogenous zones . Not to mention, your partner's pelvis is perfectly positioned to grind against your clit. Maybe try adding a little sexy butt massage to the mix, too.
Do it : This is basically missionary position with an upside-down twist. Lie on your back and have your partner straddle you facing away. Lift your legs and wrap them around their back to elevate your pelvis so they can enter you. Grab your partner's butt to help them slide up and back.
Warning: This sex position is not for beginners! Think of this as downward dog with even better benefits—the deep-thrusting, G-spot hitting kind. Skyler warns that it does require some yogi talent and shoulder strength to maintain this athletic position. But even if you're only able to stay in this position for a little bit, it’ll definitely be an experience you’ll remember. If the pressure on your arms gets to be too much, take some of the pressure off by resting your upper body on the edge of the bed or a table.
Do it: Get into the downward dog yoga position, then have your partner sit at the end of a bed, and grab your legs so you can wrap them around their waist.
Due to the nature of this position, you'll feel more of your partner's body in motion. Plus, you can always reach down to offer a little butt or leg massage while your S.O. thrusts. Pro tip: This is another great position if you have a partner with a flexible penis or you're using a dildo for the night. It also gives the woman the chance to feel new sensations on different parts of her vaginal wall, Skylar says.
Do it: So you're probably thinking, "wait...how?" But here's how this one's done: Have your partner enter you from missionary position, then slide their legs and chest off your body so their limbs form an "X" with yours.
If you want a good view of each other's bodies, consider adding this one to tonight's activity list. "This is definitely a more intimate face-to-face position," Skylar says. If your partner has a large penis, this position allows you to really control the depth. Want to heat things up? Lean back farther to help this position really hit home, and have your partner rub your clit at the same time. Blended orgasm , anyone?
Do it: Have your partner sit with their legs straight, and then you sit on top of them with bent knees over their thighs. Then, you both lean back and let the pleasure commence.
Skyler recommends taking this one to the kitchen counter. "It's great position if you're less athletic but still wants to be varied and kinky with intercourse ," she says. This crazy sex position puts you two at the same level (which is especially great if you're different heights ). Plus it's perfect for that I-need-you-right-this-second sexy quickie.
Do it: Hop onto your bed, dining table, or really any surface you happen to be near in the heat of the moment. Then, bring your knees together and twist to one side. Have your partner enter you from this position.
This position will be amazing if your partner has great flexibility and hip mobility, Skyler says. It's a tighter experience for both you and your partner, plus it adds a sexy vantage point (do it by a mirror if you want to watch!)
Do it: Such a small modification can make a crazy impact. Lie down in missionary with your partner on their knees, leaning back onto their heels. Raise one leg up against their chest while they enter you.
Because sometimes the bed is just too far away...especially if you're both incredibly raring to go. This is a great option for standing sex because it offers a litt
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