Clitoral Orgasms

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Clitoral Orgasms
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In the previous articles in this series, I’ve explained why most clitoral orgasms pale in comparison to deep vaginal orgasms.
There isn’t any problem with the clitoris itself. It’s a body part designed solely for pleasure.
The problem is with the conditioned response of touching your clit, and the side-effects of orgasms which originate from it.
What if you could enjoy intense and prolonged clitoral stimulation, and turn it into meaningful and empowering continuous states of whole body orgasm?
This is indeed possible, and once you learn it, you will be able to do it within a few days. Most women who learn it, never look back.
Go over the previous articles and make sure you understand why and how clitoral orgasms aren’t so good for you. If you recognize that and relate it to your own experiences, it will be easier for you to do it.
It’s much easier to learn this by yourself, before attempting this with another person, since you have more control over the stimulation.
So, start practicing by yourself – That’s it, I mean masturbate, although it’s better to look at it as your “self pleasuring” practice.
Get yourself comfortable; set up a “love nest” in your bed or a mattress; maybe take a long hot bath and massage your body with oil.
Build your arousal and pleasure gradually, bringing awareness, touch and sensation to your entire body, specifically to your thighs, buttocks, belly, chest, breasts, hands, arms, neck and scalp, before starting to touch your genitals. The reason is that it’s important to activate your entire body so the sexual energy doesn’t stay confined to the genital area. It’s like doing warm up exercises before yoga.
If you aren’t feeling aroused, just try to caress your body and massage your genitals. Focus on the sensations. Do this daily and notice how your body opens and becomes more sensitive, pleasurable, and orgasmic
Note that there might be a feeling of fear or anxiety coming up. This might be related to the fear of letting go and surrendering into an orgasm deeper than you ever experienced. Either keep going, or pause to witness this fear, and understand there’s nothing to be afraid of.
Learn to recognize when you are about to peak, when any further touch will bring about the orgasm. This is the “Point of no return” (P.N.R) for women. Stop stimulating before this point.
Notice if any of the following happens:
Your breath is becoming shallow and constricted;
Your muscles are tensed;
Your whole attention is focused on your genital area;
Your movements are becoming mechanical;
Your genital area is charged in a “sharp” or “heavy” way;
You feel a sense of urgency.
This might mean that you are very close to the point of no return.
Pause, relax, breathe deeply and exhale long and slow, and do some of the techniques I mention below.
If your clit suddenly becomes hyper-sensitive and unpleasant to touch, or if you suddenly lose interest in what you’re doing, you probably had a clitoral orgasm.
That’s OK.
Arouse yourself again, this time stopping well ahead of that point.
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While you are building up, and as you are getting closer to the P.N.R, do the following:
Finger tracing – Move your finger from your clitoris, down and into your vagina, curling up your finger upwards, towards your pubic bone, and pressing there. This moves the pleasure and sexual energy away from your clitoris and into your vagina, bringing awareness, sensation, and later, pleasure. It’s also a great way to awaken and activate your G-spot.
Visualization – Visualize a stream of light, or heat, or energy, following the path that your finger laid, into your vagina. Later, you can also visualize this energy going up your spine, and emanating from the top of your head.
Affirmation – Say to yourself, out loud or internally, something like “My sexual energy is flowing into my vagina”, or “My whole body is orgasmic”. Consider writing it down and sticking it on your laptop, mirror, or fridge.
Breath and Sound – Keep breathing fully into your belly, focusing on the exhale and making a long “Ahhhh” sound as you breathe out.
Spread it – Keep caressing your entire body, and consciously move your hands from your genital area towards other parts of your body, specifically to your upper body. Imagine you are spreading and moving your sexual energy as if it’s a lump of butter that you are spreading over a toast.
Touch-It-All – Explore different kinds of touch, all over your body – caress, pull, squeeze, twist, pinch, press, stroke, fondle, brush, knead, massage and slap.
Squeeze – While stimulating your clit, and/or during the pauses, contract and relax your vaginal muscles in rhythmic repetitions. This brings awareness and sensation into your vagina, and helps you move the sexual energy up your spine. Experiment with different kinds of squeezes – short, long, pulling in, squeezing tightly, pushing out.
Some women “push-out” their vaginal muscles, which causes an explosive orgasm, or just a loss of energy. Similar effects to clitoral orgasms are experienced.
Some level of alternately pushing-out and pulling-in is pleasurable and beneficial, but it is important that women do not push out too much and lose their orgasm in this way.
Hip action – Allow your hips to undulate back and forth, side to side, and in circles. Let this movement expand to your spine, shoulders, head, and your entire body.
Whole body movement – It’s important to allow your whole body to move, twist, and undulate. It allows the sexual energy to spread into your entire body, and also builds sexual energy and pleasure.
The Pause – Every few minutes, pause completely, relax your breath and your body, and stop any movement. Allow the arousal to decrease before continuing.
Internal awareness – Focus your awareness inside your vagina, being aware of warmth, tingling, vibrating, pulsating, throbbing, or any other sensation, even if it’s numbness. Do this continuously, and specifically when you do “The Pause”.
Scheduled Breaks – Every 10-20 minutes of “practice”, pause and rest for a few minutes, to allow the energy to disperse. Maybe even stand up and go to the bathroom to wash your face with cold water.
Internalize it – One of the best ways to move sexual energy into your vagina is by applying internal stimulation using a dildo, or if you don’t have one, consider a cucumber, carrot or zukini. Try applying both clitoral and internal stimulation in the same time, while keeping your focus inside.
Gradually, apply more internal stimulation, and less external stimulation, until you are hardly touching your clit.
Yoga – I know it sounds weird, but if, during one of the pauses, you do one of the reversed positions of yoga, that would help your sexual energy move away from your genitals, and into your upper body. Specifically perform shoulder stand, hand stand, plow, and head stand. Keep it for 3-8 minutes or so. Make sure you receive guidance from a competent yoga teacher.
After doing this for half an hour or more, you might have an internal orgasm, or you might realize that you are already experiencing a mild state of continuous orgasm, which you can feel even after you stop touching yourself.
That’s another reason it’s important to pause and witness every 10-20 minutes.
Try to do at least half hour of this practice every day, without reaching a clitoral orgasm by yourself or with your lover. The idea is to build enough energy that it starts emanating into your whole body, and later, into your life.
After a few days or at most weeks of practice, you will be able to receive more and more clitoral stimulation, and be able to transform it into prolonged internal or whole body orgasms.
After practicing by yourself for a few days, it’s time to enjoy that with your lover.
Clarity – Explain to your lover that you don’t want to have a clitoral orgasm. Maybe send him a link to this article so he or she understands. Most people, women and men, aren’t aware of the negative side effects of clitoral orgasms, and the possibility for hours-long orgasmic states.
Communication – Make sure you communicate to your lover that your arousal is increasing and that you are close to peaking, so he slows down, and also so he learns to recognize by himself when you are getting close to the P.N.R.
Cunnilicious … – Experiment with Oral sex but be careful not to have a clitoral orgasm.
Go fingure it – Have your lover put his fingers inside you. Experiment with different fingers of both hands, and if you are aroused enough, with more fingers.
Vaginal massage – Also called Yoni massage (Sanskrit for sacred flower or sacred space) – This is a great way to move energy away from your clitoris, to arouse and activate all areas of your genitals, as well as connecting you to your feminine essence. Subscribe to the pleasure list (below) for specific articles about this beautiful art and practice.
No grinding! – In penetrative sex, don’t grind him, and make sure there isn’t too much clitoral stimulation. So many women need, or rather, believe that they need, intense clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.
Be careful from the positions of “woman on top leaning forward” and “man on top leaning forward”, both of which causes your pubic bones to rub against each other and thus create increased clitoral stimulation.
He can help – There are also some specific things that your lover can do to help you turn clitoral stimulation into internal orgasms – I’ll write about it if enough people ask.
To conclude, you might be used to having quick&easy clitoral orgasms, and you believe that’s all there is to it.
Give it a try, experiment for a few weeks with what I suggest, and let me know how you’re doing via the contact form.
I personally respond to every email.
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How is this working for you?
Are there more techniques that you use to internalize your orgasms?
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I started doing this at a very early age, (9 or 10), and while I eventually conclude with an explosive orgasm, the time I spend at the edge is ecstatic and so fulfilling. I am lately exploring more internal stimulation and edge riding without touching my clit, though I find it difficult to go over the edge without including stimulation to the clitoris.
Thank you for this enlightening website. I look forward to your book.
I´ve been trying this for a few days now and it´s making me crazy! I know that I´m a beginner, but it´s taking a lot of time and effort to reach vaginal orgasm. It also feels very limiting as I have only found one specific way it will work, so I have to do everything exactly like that every time. (& btw it´s making me quite sore.)
Also the orgasms are very weak, even on those occasions when they do last longer. I never feel really satisfied. I´m a mess of frustration & I´m having a hard time staying motivated. A clitoris orgasm would be a lovely way to help all these feelings of frustration, pain & limitation.
After years and years of clitoral addiction, plus everyone around you addicted, plus society telling you that this is the only way to do it, it’s natural that it will take some time and persistence and effort.
Don’t focus just on reaching the orgasm, but on exploring and discovering and expanding your experience.
Don’t shy away from the places that feel numb or painful. embrace both the pleasure and the pain.
Email me to schedule a short chat to discuss further. eyal@intimatepower.com
Can you please detail the ways my lover can help? I need all the help I can get 🙂
Read my post above and maybe it could help.
My wife and I were married for 17 years when she had her first vaginal orgasm. Although she thinks the peak of a clitoral orgasm is more “rushing”, she describes the vaginal orgasm as the complete and full orgasm. She even says that both are completely different altogether.
It all started with deep penetration intercourse that I felt involved my penis poking hard at her uterus and cervix and she said made her uncomfortable and did not stimulate her at all. We continued doing it for a short period when, all of a sudden, she had a huge orgasm. From then on, it became her favorite orgasm although she enjoys clitoral orgasms as well.
My advice to all the ladies is to relax and take your time. Be open to new practices and sensations. This just might be the road to a whole new area of feelings you never imagined existed.

My name is Eyal Matsliah.
I help women experience self love, deep orgasms, and overflowing creativity. Read more about my coaching journeys , or enjoy some
articles, videos and interviews here .
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Any type of orgasm feels incredible, and there's nothing wrong with sticking to the strokes and touches that you know bring you to the brink every time. But variety really is the spice of life. You wouldn't eat the same three meals every day, nor would you wear the same outfit over and over. So why not expand your sexual horizons and explore the 11 different types of orgasms the female body is capable of?


Before getting started, it helps to understand what an orgasm actually is. "An orgasm is a physical reflex that occurs when muscles tighten during sexual arousal and then relax through a series of rhythmic contractions," Sherry Ross , MD, a California-based ob-gyn, tells Health . Each climax can feel different in terms of intensity and duration, depending on how and what part of your body is being aroused, she says. Besides providing a physical release, it's also an emotional one—allowing you to feel closer to your partner or simply de-stress after a tough day.


Some kinds of orgasm focus on the vagina only; others allow you to feel earth-quaking intensity in places you never thought of as erogenous zones . You owe it to yourself to find out the pleasure your body can experience—allow us to get you up to speed with all the different Os out there.


The clitoris is the go-to sweet spot for most women when they want to experience the pleasure and release of an orgasm. But while clitoral orgasms may be the most accessible kind, this tiny, mostly hidden bliss button is highly individualistic. Every woman prefers a different types of touch here to reach climax.


"The clitoris is a very sensitive part of a woman's anatomy, composed of millions of nerve endings similar to that of the penis," says Dr. Ross. Having it touched, caressed, or stroked via direct or indirect stimulation (in other words, through fabric, or by touching the labia surrounding the clitoris) prompts an increase in blood flow to the area, making the clitoris engorged and in need of release.


A study from the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that several types of clitoral strokes (think up-and-down, back-and-forth, and both wide and small circles) can lead to orgasm. Experiment on your own and show your partner what you like. If clitoral orgasms don't come easy for you or you're having trouble reaching climax, consider looking into sex toys designed with clitoral orgasm in mind, such as a mini vibrator you or your partner can wear on your fingertips.


Your G-spot is on the front wall of your vagina, about halfway between your vaginal opening and cervix. It's not something you can see but you can usually feel it; insert a finger into your vagina and press forward (making a come-hither motion). You should detect a slightly bumpy or ridged area, says Dr. Ross. For some women, it feels spongy.


Pressing this spot gently and stroking it lightly is what many women do to prime themselves for a G-spot orgasm. "When you're sexually aroused, the G-spot will fill with blood and swell up," says Dr. Ross. Touching it in a way that feels good to you with fingers, your partner's penis, or a vibrator can trigger what many women describe as a deeply intense, shaken-to-the-core kind of climax.


If you can handle two, three, or even four times the intensity and pleasure of a regular O, this kind of orgasm is for you. A blended orgasm is a climax that happens when more than one erogenous zone is being stimulated at the same time. G-spot penetration along with clitoral touching is one way to experience the explosive orgasm that typically results. But it could also come from vaginal penetration along with clitoral, nipple, or anal stimulation—or all of these simultaneously.


"The more stimulation there is, the more blood flow will result, and the bigger the orgasm will be," Prudence Hall, MD, gynecologist and medical director of the Hall Center in Southern California, tells Health . Many combinations of touching and teasing can trigger a blended orgasm, but if you're looking to have one with a partner, consider the woman on top position (because your hands, and your partner's, are free to touch your clitoris, breasts, or butt) or bringing a vibrator into the bedroom.


Anal sex or anal play isn't every woman's cup of tea. Some love it and others don't care for it at all. But if you're in the former category (or you've never tried it before and think you might be), an anal orgasm is one you should know about.


Because the anus and rectum are so close to the vagina and clitoris—and are connected by a thin stretch of tissue called the perineum—they share many of the same nerves and muscles, including the PC (or pelvic floor) muscle, says Dr. Hall. The PC muscle is highly sensitive for many women, and stimulating it can trigger a vaginal orgasm—and an anal one as well, she says.


Still not sure about this one? Take it from the many women who do report having orgasms from anal sex. But this type of sex does come with risks that are important to consider before you try it. Safe sex is a must for you and your partner.


The clitoris and G-spot aren't the only pleasure buttons below the belt. Real women as well as sex researchers say that there are additional erogenous zones inside the vagina that when touched the right way can lead to what's collectively known as a deep vaginal orgasm.


First comes the A-spot, located on the high front (or anterior) wall of the vagina just beneath the cervix. Next is the O-spot (for orgasm), which can be found on the back wall of the vagina, almost behind the cervix. "I can't see th
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