Chick Angelina Cleans

Chick Angelina Cleans
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It's a good thing Angelina Jolie became a movie star. Her distractingly sexy features would surely cause a slew of on-the-job injuries if she was, say, a Starbucks barista or a crossing guard (think of all the scaldings and run-over children!).
Yes, it's for the public's own safety that this reluctant spawn of Voight be kept behind the protective barriers reserved for our Hollywood royalty, athletes and political leaders.
For over a decade, Jolie's upsettingly pouty lips and model-esque figure have defined "sex symbol" to the Western world (and "possible mommy" to the developing one). She'll soon be appearing with Johnny Depp ( the only man prettier than her ) in the upcoming "The Tourist," and the sexy factor might be off the charts.
Here's our list of Angelina's most alluring roles.
Not to question our nation's security agencies (or sound sexist), but is it really wise having a CIA agent that looks like Angelina Jolie? She sort of sticks out in a crowd. But who else can serve up such convincing beatings on bad guys while looking so hot and mysterious? Jolie's most seductive feature (besides her Jessica Rabbit looks) is always appearing like she knows something we don't. But in "Salt," as a spy accused of planning a murder she insists she knows nothing about, her rare vulnerability renders her all the more attractive.
Jolie writhed and schemed as Alexander the Great's socially inappropriate MILF in this Oliver Stone 2004 mega-bomb. Dressed like she should be chained to Jabba the Hut's wrist, Angelina both turned on and confused the few folks who actually went to the theater. Talk about barking up the wrong tree: She jealously coveted her own son, Alexander (Colin Farrell) who was A) gay and B) her son! Adding to the weirdness was the fact that, in real life, Angelina is only a year older than Colin.
If real car thieves looked like Sway (yes, Sway is the name of Jolie's character), it might take the sting out of the whole carjacking experience -- which has gotten such a bad rap from the elitist media. Helping Nic Cage steal 50 exotic cars in five days, Jolie also steals the show and makes that unfortunate, deteriorating dreadlock look of hers almost work (there's a lot of dark scenes).
Most film critics weren't blown away by this period melodrama, but the steamy scenes of passion between Julia (Jolie) and her "too sexy for his shirt" co-star, Antonio Banderas, left viewers forgiving the cheesy dialogue and glacial pacing. So sit back, hit the mute button, and fast forward to those well-lit vignettes of sensual sponge baths and daytime lovemaking in canopy beds.
Many folks got their first glimpse of Angelina when she played the sociopathic Lisa in this tale of young women trying to find their sanity in a mental hospital in the late 1960s. Whether screaming her head off, manipulating friends into suicide, or seducing a soda jerk by sucking on a cherry, "crazy" is just another name for "personality" when you've got cheekbones like that.
Everyone but Jennifer Aniston loved Jolie as a housewife with a secret in this action-comedy hit. Angelina cleans up nicely as Jane, a pearl-wearing domestic diva with a murderous side gig. She and Brad Pitt got a bit too far into character off the set, but the newly blossoming romance between them translates into sizzling sexual tension on the screen. Sorry, Jennifer -- we don't mean to linger on this...but it was pretty freakin' hot.
Any student who got through this ancient epic poem no doubt had the same thought afterwards: this should -- nay -- MUST be turned into an all CGI movie with an Angelina Jolie avatar playing the monster Grendel's mommy. And boy did the animators spare no shame in rendering her nude, yet detail-free form -- she has high heels built into her feet for god's sake! And the less said about her stroking Beowulf's sword until it melts, the better.
In 2001, 13-year-old boys everywhere couldn't believe it -- the dream was finally happening: Their ultimate fantasy woman had A) actually heard of the video game "Tomb Raider," and B) agreed to play its tank-top clad heroine in a movie. And this movie would be in real theaters -- not just in the boys' heads. It did not disappoint. Besides non-stop action that rarely got dragged down by plot or cohesion, the film bent over backwards to feature endless scenarios in which Jolie's breasts and midriff could be bent over backwards.
Jolie may be at her best as this woman of few words, flexible feats and devastating glances. Playing an assassin named Fox (get it? 'cause she's a fox), Jolie shows James McAvoy the bullet-bending ropes with her steely cool moves and come hither looks -- and so many tattoos. What man wouldn't want this siren to lure him away from his mind-numbing job and overbearing ex into a secret society of assassins? And Morgan Freeman was there, too.
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Angelina Jolie was branded "out of her mind" by producer Scott Rudin over her upcoming passion project Cleopatra in a new leaked email exchange -- get the latest update on the Sony hack here. Kevin Winter/Getty Images; Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage.com
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Yes, there's more. It's safe to say that producer Scott Rudin and Angelina Jolie are not exactly the best of friends, as evidenced in the latest batch of leaked emails from the Sony hack posted by Gawker , in which Rudin calls the superstar "out of her mind."
The point of tension in this particular case was centered on Jolie's planned Cleopatra biopic, which the actress wanted David Fincher to direct while Rudin wanted him for the Steve Jobs movie. The emails date back to December 2013, when the screenwriter Eric Roth sent over a draft for Cleopatra, and were initially friendly… until competing interests came into play.
"Get your egyptian sandals on ……he did it," Sony Pictures Entertainment Chair Amy Pascal joked in an email to Rudin and Jolie, to which Rudin responded: "Home run or whatever a home run would be called in Alexandria."
Rudin and Pascal were close at the time, as were Pascal and Jolie. Earlier that November, Pascal wrote to Brad Pitt's love: "You are a treasure/I love you Tons." Jolie responded: "Love you Amy xxx."
With a solid script in hand, Rudin told Jolie: "The only thing standing between us and this movie is your learning ancient Egyptian. Could you be ready by January 5?"
Jolie, however, wanted to proceed with caution. "I think we have to clean up the script and then enhance. I have crossed out many things and made adjustments," she wrote in an email to Pascal in January. "I would like to strip the things that lead it off track first. We need to be clear and efficient in order to get this done in a decent time. I started to re read the book [2010 bestselling book Cleopatra: A Life , written by Stacy Schiff] and I am talking to philosophy teachers ect."
For Jolie, she wanted the focus of the story to be a historically accurate one about Cleopatra herself without Hollywood-style embellishments. In a private email, Pascal wrote to Rudin: "[Angelina] will like it CUZ there is barely any vulnerability left in her character and she now seems responsible for everything that ever happened," but turning the film into a commercial success was also a concern. "We are gonna have to lean on her to make it a love story [with Marc Anthony]," Pascal wrote.
As Rudin and Pascal tried to set up meetings in January, an exasperated Rudin wrote: " She knows it's off [in terms of script]. Calm down. She's an actress for hire, not Cleopatra."
Rudin went on to accuse Pascal of speaking to Fincher about the script. "Wanna talk or keep fighting?" Pascal asked Rudin at one point. "Keep fighting right now please," Rudin replied.
Pascal then suggested other high-profile directors to helm Jobs, including Martin Scorsese and Ang Lee . Rudin, though, remained resolute about having Gone Girl 's Fincher to lead Jobs. By February, Rudin nabbed Scorsese and attempted to appease Jolie by telling her that Scorsese was a possible option for director.
"Amazing news. I am in edit and only half way through but so far I see that yes it's still long but it's strong and smart and with intrigue and sensuality," Jolie wrote in March. "I love all the characters and feel it's more focused. Any director in their righting [right mind] will be happy that it will not be hard to trim and that he will have a say in what stays. It's all very exciting. Let me know if there is anything I should be doing. Like getting on a plane and begging Marty [Scorsese] xxx."
As the project continually got delayed, Jolie started getting impatient. "Brad is planning a film of the same period you should know," she wrote an email. "He will now beat [us] to it. I suppose giving me more and more time to prepare." (It's unclear if this email was about her husband Brad Pitt .)
In between, other possible options for alternative directors and screenplays were dangled about, but Jolie remained firm in wanting to work with solid directors. "My point is that we have done something special and I don't think we should adjust course but streamline and clarify and hold strong," the actress wrote. "But of course, I'm open to all discussions."
Rudin, then, sent a private email to Pascal. "She's seriously out of her mind.
Pascal and Rudin's relationship ultimately deteriorated, while Jolie still remained close to Pascal. Cleopatra, meanwhile, is in the works for 2016, with Scorsese expected to possibly direct the epic. "Unbelievably excited," Jolie wrote to Pascal in November about her passion project. Read more of Rudin's harsh commens about Jolie in leaked emails .
"Me too," Pascal responding, adding she had spoken "about wigs last night."

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