Can Women Get Blue Balls
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Can Women Get Blue Balls
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Jun 2, 2016 04:10 PM By Jaleesa Baulkman
Technology & the Business of Medicine
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Many people are familiar with the concept of “ blue balls .” It’s an aching or pain that results from sexual frustration, or not ejaculating after a prolonged state of sexual arousal. It’s also the excuse a lot of men use to guilt-trip their partners into “fixing it” with sex. During these instances, men might say something that insinuates women don’t experience the same kind of physical frustration. But, as it turns out, women’s private parts also get the blues.
For men, blue balls occur after an erection. Sexual arousal causes the arteries carrying blood to the penis to enlarge, and the veins that carry blood away constrict so that the blood can’t escape. This process, called vasoconstriction, helps them maintain an erection and also causes the testicles to swell about 25 to 50 percent larger than their normal size. During this process, the genitals actually go through a localized increase in blood pressure, “which makes it feel like someone is squeezing the testes,” Medical Daily previously reported . Ejaculation is the only way for the genitals to return to a normal size, and blue balls occur when that doesn't happen.
Women may not have testes, but they also experience vasoconstriction in the vulva , uterus, and ovaries during sexual arousal. And if they don’t orgasm, it can lead to similar feelings of heaviness and aching in their genitals, according to the University of California, Santa Barbara (UCSB). I guess you can call this “ blue vulva .”
“The same thing happens to females, too,” sex coach Laura Anne Rowell told Medical Daily . “The nerve endings that go from the clitoris around the vulva are all engorged with blood when you’re sexually excited. When women get aroused and it’s not released, you can get extremely sensitive down there.”
UCSB notes that when men suffer from blue balls, their testes develop a blueish hue. You see, while oxygen-rich blood is red, blood without oxygen — like that trapped in the testicles — turns blue. Women’s genitals don’t necessarily change color, but the concept is the same. When they don’t “finish,” the extra blood that flows to their clitoris is still there “waiting to be released via contractions in your uterus,” Women’s Health reported. This leads to feelings of congestion and discomfort in women’s vaginas.
Rowell gave this example: Let’s say your partner is performing oral sex on you and doing a terrible job at it. After about 20 minutes “it becomes almost painful and sometimes you’re like, ‘just stop already.’” And that sometimes is the reason women get blue balls, Rowell said. When this happens, it can become painful to touch the clitoris, a feeling that can last up to 20 minutes after ending any sexual activity without achieving orgasm, according to Women’s Health .
There are a couple of reasons why we rarely ever hear of a woman getting blue balls. Rowell figures this is because there’s little to no scientific research on female blue balls, likely because female scientists and doctors aren’t looking into it as their male counterparts are investigating male blue balls. Other possibilities, she says, are that women’s genitals may not be “as sensitive” as men’s testes, or that men may just be more vocal about the discomfort associated with blue balls.
“When we’re not getting off, a lot of women, unfortunately, have learned to live with it and move on,” Rowell said. “So they may not even realize, or be in tune with their own body, to know that they’re having blue balls, or that they're even having an extra sensitivity down there because they didn’t get off. They may not connect the two.”
Contrary to what most men will have you believe, blue balls are not life-threatening — not for women either. “Take a cold shower, you know, have a glass of wine or hot tea, and forget about it,” Rowell said. “Just walk away from the situation.” And you’ll feel less blue in no time.
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You might've heard that if a guy is turned on and doesn't get any sort of release, his balls can get painful and bluish—aka "blue balls." This is sometimes used as a terrible excuse to try to guilt someone into sex, which is obviously never OK in any scenario. But apparently, blood flow to the genitals can actually cause discomfort, and it happens to women, too, sex coach Laura Anne Rowell tells Medical Daily .
While it doesn't usually include the same change in color for women, the phenomenon otherwise works pretty much the same way for both sexes, she explains. Basically, blood flows to the genitals during arousal, and the buildup can leave an uncomfortable sensation.
Sexual health researcher Robyn Charlery White, Ph.D., confirms that female blue balls is a real thing for women. "Although less well documented or discussed, some women do also experience heightened sensations of pressure, sensitivity, discomfort, and aching in the pelvic region (more specifically the vagina, vulva, and clitoris) when they have prolonged or peaked sexual arousal but do not orgasm," she says. Although, she adds, many men and women don't experience this at all.
But the fact that we don't often hear women complain about blue balls should tell us something. The biological phenomenon may be real, but the myth that a partner must relieve the tension or something terrible will happen is just that: a myth.
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Believe it or not, we women are just as capable of getting that uncomfortable, halted-sneeze feeling in our private parts as you men are. However, because our sexual organs are more complex — and internal — we can't really call out a specific part as the culprit of our pain. Plus, "blue uterus" doesn't sound nearly as catchy.
For those who aren't familiar with the term, "blue balls" are how men refer to that tight, churning feeling that happens when they get aroused but don't have an orgasm. While women don't have balls, we do have corresponding sexual organs that feel equally irksome when they don't get to go through the whole sexual cycle.
Teresa Hoffman, M.D., an OB/GYN told Women's Health that, while there is no scientific research to back it up, women report physical discomfort when they are aroused but an orgasm never comes.
Just like how blood flows to a guy's penis when he gets an erection, women get a similar rush when they become aroused. If they don't end up having an orgasm, there may be a tight, cramping feeling going on in there, which is pretty akin to what men feel in their testicles under the same circumstances. This feeling can last up to 20 minutes after the failed orgasm but typically resolves itself, even though you may continue to be emotionally frustrated (what else is new?).
I spoke with Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills relationship psychotherapist and co-star ofSex Box, WE tv, to see just how prevalent this issue is among women. "Many women, especially those above the age of 40, take longer or have trouble achieving orgasm. They either experience a physical discomfort in their uterus or a sense of frustration, or both," said Dr. Walfish. Essentially, since women overall tend to have a harder time having an orgasm in the first place, they actually experience female "blue balls" a heck of a lot more often than men do. Throw that in your dude's face the next time he makes you feel crappy for not getting him all the way there.
Dr. Walfish says that while it's a frustrating feeling, there are many things you can do to get yourself there if your man cannot (or in some cases will not) oblige. Manual stimulation of the clitoris is a go-to for most women when they need that orgasmic release. However, stimulation of other areas, such as the nipples and even the opening of the anus, can help a stubborn O along.
I wondered if women could explain the feeling further so that men understand they're definitely not alone in this painful retrograde of arousal. Fortunately some were willing to expound on it.
Maggie, a graphic designer from Chicago, said, "It's like... there's gears in your uterus that stop abruptly, then slowly start grinding backwards. Even now it gives me the shivers."
Kelsey, an actress from New York, said, "My whole body tenses up, and I just want to curl into a little ball. It's like a slowly unfolding, super-intense period cramp."
Jenn from Miami told us, "It doesn't really bother me all that much. It feels like a lost sneeze. It's annoying, but I'm not going to spend the rest of my day reeling over it."
Take note, fellas. Your ladies may talk about our blue balls less often, but we feel them all the same.
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