Blonde Vagina

Blonde Vagina

*First Published: Jul 24, 2015, 10:05 pm CDT

Posted on Jul 24, 2015 Updated on May 28, 2021, 7:13 am CDT
Following rigorous competition and more than 130,000 voters, the World’s Most Beautiful Vagina Contest anointed a champion this week. It was a strange, difficult-to-gauge event—but that’s why organizers turned to scientists to tell us what it all means.
U.K. resident Nell, 27, won first place and $5,000 in the pageant with a vulva beauty ranking of 7.7 out of 10. Jenny, 23, of Bavaria, Germany, took second place with a 7.3; and Anita, 20, from Hungary, came in third. They each earned $2,500 and $1,250, respectively.
The contest was sponsored by Brian Sloan, who is also the manufacturer of the Autoblow 2 . It’s known as “the first truly realistic alternative to traditional pleasure products for men,” according to the its website .
These winners will also be flown out to Los Angeles, where their vulvas will be 3D-scanned to later be reproduced for the Autoblow device.
Sloan contracted a group of data scientists to analyze the contest’s findings for their scientific implications. The data was then compiled in “ The Vulva Paper .”
If you’re a visual learner, you can view photo examples of each class here .
The Vulva Paper’s website says scientists “used the contest data to assess the diversity in vulval morphology and voters’ preference for different morphologies.” A total of 182 women participated in the contest; 110 entries were examined for the study (if measurements could not be taken from the photo, the entry was not considered).
The scientists viewed each entry on a 15-inch computer screen, zooming in “until the genitalia were easily measured using a screen ruler,” read the paper .
They measured labia majora length, labia minora length, and clitoral hood length.
Finally, the scientists rated the complexity of the labia minora; they used the three categories of rugosity (smooth, moderate, marked) to do so. To prevent vaginal bias, the same person also conducted all of these measurements. The scientists later used this research to classify the contest’s entries into six different categories of “vulval morphology.”
A chart detailing the six classes is included below:
As far as methodology is concerned, a random assortment of entries was sent to each voter, who was then asked to rate the vulva pictured on a scale from 1 to 10. These voters were only able to rank one photo at a time, but could also vote on an unlimited number of entries. The scientists compiled 2,766,671 ratings from 134,707 contest voters.
“To reduce individual biases, we centered each voter’s ratings using their mean and standard deviation. This allowed us to reflect the preferences of voters on the same scale,” read the study .
According to the paper , each voter rated 21 photos, on average. Each vulva also received 15,285 votes, on average.
The study also found that “roughly 51% of voters preferred the first two classes of non-protruding, simple labia. The other 49% favored the four more complex vulva classes.”
“As expected from the rankings that we saw at the country and local levels, Class 1 vulvas are preferred over the others more often. But the combined percentages of voters who preferred more complex classes of vulvas far outweighed those who preferred the simplest style.”
The winners’ photos, however, were not included in the study—having been among the participants whose photos were not able to be considered. Moreover, the “doggy style” posture featured in these entries made it difficult for the scientists to complete the necessary measurements.
“Indeed, pictures depicting contest entrants in a doggy style position obtained ratings 2 points higher on average (p <0.001) than others. Other features, like piercings in the clitoral hood, didn’t affect the ratings,” read the study .
So basically, the “doggy style” photos generated “influential excitement” among the contest’s voters—an important competitive advantage for all future entrants to consider.
Photo via mislav-marohnic /Flickr (CC BY-ND 2.0)
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Andrew Dominik’s fictionalised biopic of the tragic movie star doesn’t just fail Marilyn Monroe herself, writes Amanda Whiting , but its use of a talking foetus begging not to be aborted – yes, really – sinks the film into new depths of invasiveness
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Ana de Armas as Marilyn becomes a sex object reduced to a sex organ in ‘Blonde’
B londe , the new Netflix film from Andrew Dominik, adds as much nuance to the idea of Marilyn Monroe as can be gleaned from a gynaecological exam. The bombshell movie star has long been established as a tragic figure, a woman who was abused by Hollywood studios, her husband Joe DiMaggio and, as a child, her unwell mother. Rather than challenge the conventional narrative, director Dominik’s nightmarish film, adapted from Joyce Carol Oates’s fictionalised 2000 novel, takes it somewhere even darker and even more invasive. If you want to understand Marilyn Monroe, it suggests, first you have to get inside her uterus.
This grim drama takes us into the previously unexplored depths of Marilyn Monroe’s vagina several times across its astonishing 2-hour-45-minute runtime. I won’t “spoil” them all, but in the film’s first hour, we watch Monroe, played with distressing frailty by Ana de Armas , excitedly clutch her belly as the camera cuts to her glowing womb – complete with a spectrally backlit foetus. A few scenes later, we follow Marilyn onto the operating table, where doctors perform an abortion she hasn’t consented to. “Please, won’t you listen? I’ve changed my mind,” she begs, as her doctor inserts the speculum – a procedure that’s gruesomely depicted head-on, from the point of view of Marilyn’s own cervix.
Dominik is insistent on his film’s animating principle, which itself feels derivative of that famous Rita Hayworth line about her most iconic and alluring movie role: “Men go to bed with Gilda and wake up with me.” In Blonde , sycophants and bigwigs hoping to get a piece of the Hollywood starlet instead find a more timid, desperate woman called Norma Jeane, who just happens to look identical to Marilyn Monroe. That might be interesting as a passing observation, but the movie makes this point over and over again. “She’s pretty, but she isn’t me,” Norma Jeane says, looking at a glamorous photo of herself in a magazine. “F*** Marilyn,” Norma Jeane later screams into the phone. “She’s not here.”
If Dominik’s point is that Marilyn is an invention – “baby’s first plaything”, one of her lovers notes cryptically – then maybe these scenes of excruciating body horror are the director’s sadistic means of reminding us that she’s more than her two-dimensional projection. If you subject Marilyn Monroe to the duress of an unwanted abortion, does she not scream in wordless agony? And if Norma Jeane becomes pregnant again years later, does her unborn foetus not acquire the capability for human speech?
I promise you, you read that right. In one of the film’s most disturbing bodily sequences, Marilyn’s surprisingly chatty foetus – which somehow also possesses knowledge of her previous abortion – pleads with its host to let this pregnancy proceed. It’s not just “alive” in the eyes of Blonde , it has a will. Marilyn can hear it. She responds to it aloud as though they’re in conversation. I had to watch this scene several times to be sure I wasn’t hallucinating, but no – right in the middle of Blonde , there’s a deranged Look Who’s Talking prequel.
As a matter of politics, these scenes of a woman burdened with years of abortion regret are highly controversial. As a mode of storytelling, they’re entirely alienating. Marilyn Monroe never seems less real to me than when she’s cheerfully dialoguing with the unborn child in her fantastically radiant womb. Am I to believe all movie stars are spotlit from the inside?
Marilyn also never feels more like a Hollywood plaything than when Dominik is subjecting her to gory sexual and medical violence, probing her literally, and barbarically depicting what it feels like to be one of the 20th century’s most famous women from the inside out. Blonde isn’t a movie about Marilyn Monroe’s exploitation, but a new low watermark in Hollywood’s treatment of her – a sex object reduced to a sex organ.
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Ana de Armas as Marilyn becomes a sex object reduced to a sex organ in ‘Blonde’
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Published: 18:54 BST, 7 April 2017 | Updated: 22:35 BST, 7 April 2017
Contrary to popular belief, most vaginas aren't neat little packages with all the pieces perfectly tucked in.
Rather, vaginas all look quite different. However, according to a former bikini waxer who goes only by Mel to protect the identity of her clients, there are five different overall vagina shapes that she has seen in her career.
While these types aren't scientific or 'a mathematic algorithm', Mel told Elite Daily : 'This is just to help women understand this weird "secret" [the appearance of our vaginas] we keep from our friends and society at large is not as scandalous or peculiar as we may have thought.'
Neat little package: A former bikini waxer said she has divided vaginas into five shapes, including the tidy Ms. Barbie
Type two: Illustrated by Kylah Benes , they also include the Ms. Puff, which is like the Ms. Barbie but longer
Her shape names are not the actual vagina, which is the whole, but rather the outside appearance — most of which has something to do with the labia majora (the outer lips) and the labia minora (the inner lips).
The most uncommon shape is what Mel calls the Ms. Barbie, in which the labia minora are totally contained within the labia magora. The waxer noted that this is what most people think of when they picture a vagina, but it is not what most vaginas look like.
Similar to the Ms. Barbie is the Ms. Puffs. The labia minora are still contained within the labia majora, but the lips of the vagina sit lower on the the pubic pone and are 'either full and puffed up or thin and loose'.
Contrary to popular belief, the way the lips hang has little to do with the age or weight of a woman.
Most common: She most frequently saw women with this shape, in which the labia minora peek out the bottom
Bodies: In this shape, the labia minora peek out the top and the labia magora meet at the bottom
The Ms. Curtains look, Mel said, is her name for when the labia minora extend past the labia majora, sticking out either a little bit or a lot. This is actually the most common shape.
Women with the Ms. Horseshoe have a vagina that opens wider at the top but closes at the bottom, with the shape of a horseshoe.
Finally, the Ms. Tulip looks like a tulip about to bloom, with the labia minora slightly exposed up and down the labia majora.
The expert: She named this the final type, in which the labia minora are contained but exposed up and down the vagina
'Moral of the story is that every vagina is different, but it shares a sisterhood with all other vaginas, and nobody should feel strange or abnormal,' Mel said.
'Just because you haven't met your sister vagina yet, doesn’t mean she isn’t out there.
She concluded humorously: 'Your vagina is perfect. It's just like a curtain. You wouldn't hate your house if it had ugly curtains.'
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Elite Daily writer Jamie Leelo spoke to a former vag waxer by the name of Mel who broke down all the ins and outs of the thousands of vaginas she saw, and came up with FIVE major vagina archetypes.
Of course, not all vaginas fit into these categories, and, hell, what are categories anyway? As Mel noted, "This isn’t a mathematic algorithm. This is just to help women understand this weird ‘secret’ [the appearance of our vaginas] we keep from our friends and society at large is not as scandalous or peculiar as we may have thought."
But, for simplicity's sake, we're gonna refer to the vulva here as a vagina, mmkay? Also, these all have "Ms." names, but ANYBODY can have a vagina.
The Barbie look features a vag where the labia majora (outer vagina lips) completely contain the labia minora (inner vagina lips).
This vag model is much more common .

Woman Spank Young
Mommy Always Says Yes
Mommy Go

Blonde Vagina

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