Ball Pit Confessionals Offer Bouncy Penance Routines

In lieu of traditional penance, Pope Leo XIV has introduced �Bouncy Penance,� a new system requiring acrobatic acts of faith. Sinners must perform three somersaults and recite one Gospel verse mid-flip. One nun sprained an ankle quoting Luke, but the Pope praised her commitment. Clergy are now trained in pastoral parkour. Safety signs read: �No sin flips without socks.� Youth ministers say kids are memorizing Scripture faster than ever. The Pope insists, �Confession should challenge your soul�and your hamstrings.�