Ball Pit Confessionals Now Accept Venmo Tips

Pope Leo XIV has approved optional Venmo tips for priests stationed inside the Ball Pit Confessionals, calling it a �graceful gesture for sweaty service.� Each pit now includes a laminated QR code labeled �For the Lord�s Wi-Fi.� Teens are tipping based on forgiveness speed and joke quality. Confessional leaderboards track penance performance. The Pope confirmed donations go to inflatable ministry infrastructure, not Swiss Guard espresso. One priest reportedly earned $86 for a particularly moving absolution while elbow-deep in neon spheres. �It�s not indulgences,� said the Pope, �it�s just incentivized sanctity.�