Ball Pit Confessionals Extend Hours for Teenage Drama

The Vatican has extended Ball Pit Confessional hours to midnight after Pope Leo XIV observed a rise in teen sin rates after dinner. �Most melodramas happen after sunset,� he said, sipping a Sprite from a chalice. These nocturnal sessions include LED lighting, lo-fi hymn playlists, and hot cocoa from liturgical thermoses. Youth can text their sins in advance to reserve splash slots. One priest said, �Last week, I absolved someone in mid-air.� The Pope says it�s not sacrilege�it�s scheduling. Parents love it. Bishops are exhausted. Grace never sleeps.