Anal Masturbation Tips
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Anal Masturbation Tips
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“Slow down, be present, and experience.” That may be how your last wine tasting started, but the somm’s advice applies to anal masturbation too: Slow down, be present, and experience . That, and use lube...lots and lots of lube.
So, whether you’re new to anal fun or the Lewis and Clark of back-door adventures, read on for expert tips to help you make the most of your solo sesh. (Want more? Check out How To Have An Anal Orgasm .)
First things first, wash your hands. “You need to take measures to keep your anus clean," says Ashley Harris, sex educator and relationship coach for BeyondAges.com . "It has its own delicate microbial balance that you don’t want to upset and cause an infection." Ditto for washing toys, but more on those later—promise.
A relaxing environment makes a real difference in your experience. “Take a warm bath, light a scented candle, or masturbate your genitals,” says Harris. “This will relax your muscles around the anus and make it easier to arouse yourself.”
As with anal sex, you’ll want to keep lube handy when it comes to anal solo pleasure. “An anus doesn’t supply its own lube, like a vagina," says Mike Anderson, PhD, residential sex expert for OhMy.ca . "Extra help in that department isn’t just recommended, it’s necessary." Use water-based or silicone-based lube, but steer clear of oil-based versions.
Again, your anus won’t secrete natural moisture when you’re turned on. Since you can’t self-lubricate down there, you’ll likely need to take a T/O mid-session to grab the lube...again. “The difference between enough lube and needing just a bit more can be tremendous,” says Harris.
For easy access, keep the container next to wherever you set up shop. Nothing worse than running into the other room with icky fingers to open, say, your nightstand drawer or bathroom vanity to grab more lube.
Sloooooow down in the anal arena, ladies. “The anus needs a lot of patience in order to feel good," says Gigi Engle , a certified sex coach, and SKYN Condoms sex and intimacy expert . "This means you should start with fingers or very small anal-approved toys around the opening of the anus to assess how it feels.” Don’t attempt putting anything inside of your anus until you have more practice.
This goes with the above, but it bears repeating: Go around your anus, instead of inside when you’re just starting out. “To begin exploring anal masturbation, start externally and get comfortable and familiar with the sensation,” says Carol Queen, PhD, a staff sexologist at Good Vibrations . “The anus is richly endowed with nerve endings and you don't need to add any penetration to experience pleasure." Of course, if you want penetration, you can add that element too, but I’ll get to that later.
Deep breathing goes a long way whether you’re taking a break from the workday grind to reset your mood, or, you know, headed to Booty-ville.
“You'll definitely want to breathe deeply from the diaphragm during anal play," "Exploring this region can be a rather nerve-racking experience, so be patient with yourself and take as much time as you need to get used to it.” She also notes that anal play isn’t for everyone, and if you discover it’s not for you, that’s A-OK.
“If you’re new to anal masturbation, stimulating your anus may feel a bit strange since it’s a sensation your body hasn’t viewed as ‘sexual’ before,” says Kate Williams, co-founder of PleasureBetter . “I found that playing with the stream from my shower-head, like many women do for clitoral masturbation, was a great way to begin enjoying anal sensations sexually.” You’ll never look at your shower-head the same way once you know this little secret. Trust.
PSA: Never use anything to stimulate the anus that is sharp, scratchy, breakable, and/or has no base to keep it from slipping inside. No ER visits, please!
“It’s especially important to prevent vibrating toys from slipping all the way in, since these can heat up, which is hazardous if the vibrating toy is temporarily stuck inside,” says Queen. Yeah, pass on that one.
“It’s always best to work up to it in increments each session to avoid pain or any tearing," says Williams. "Each session, start with just a finger until it feels extremely comfortable, then add a second finger until that feels completely comfortable. Then, finally, add your toys.”
Harris also suggests a smaller anal plug or anal beads if you're a beginner; some anal beads start small and get bigger the further down you go.
“See how very small movements feel before you get to the point of harder/faster (if you get there at all),” says Queen. “You can be wayyy slower and more exploratory with toys, and the anus is a good place for that."
Just not getting blissed out with anal self-pleasure? Fret not.
Jill McDevitt, PhD, resident sexologist for Cal Exotics , who holds three degrees in human sexuality, advises trying these five things before throwing in the towel (which again, totally fine, anal play isn’t for everyone!):
So, you’ve had more experience with getting down with anal masturbation? Here are expert tips for moderate or advanced-level anal play:
Yes, it’s a thing. Here’s how to find it, according to Anderson: Curve your fingers into a hook shape and insert them an inch to two inside the vagina. Once you feel the spongy tissue (that’s your G-spot), push your fingers up another two inches and that should be the A-spot. Experiment with different speeds and angles of movement to determine what feels best for you. “Some will even experience vaginal orgasm from stimulating the A-spot,” he adds
That’s sex speak for combining external clitoral stimulation with your anal play. “This will really up the pleasure factor and lead to some pretty intense orgasms,” says Engle. Toys make this easy, but you can also go old-school and put both your hands to work to really earn your O.
“If you're experienced with anal masturbation and enjoy it, you can feel free to move up to bigger toys for insertion,” says Engle, cautioning that you only use anal beads or toys with flared bases that are designed for anal play. “Otherwise, the second ring of the sphincter could suck it right up. And no one wants that." Def not.
“For those more experienced at anal exploration, why not try something a little more adventurous, like a butt plug? Plugs can be used not just for masturbation but for dilation. They can be worn for longer periods of time. So insert your plug and get on with your day,” says Joshua Gonzalez, MD, Astroglide's resident sexual health advisor . “One bit of safety advice: Whenever inserting a toy or plug into your rectum, make sure it has an edge or handle that prevents it from slipping all the way in.” Yeah, it's worth saying again, people!
Yep, you read that right. “Experienced players can use expandable butt plugs," says Alexandra Holovitz, a tantric sexuality coach and hypnotherapist, founder and CEO at Alexandra Guru . "Those are the best to stretch your boundaries." And yes, that means boundaries in both the literal and over-the-moon orgasmic sense.
“When said toy has a vibrating component you can take your anal exploration to the next level,” says Gonzalez. Of course, make sure any vibrating toy is designed for the anal area!
Try vibrating anal sex beads. “These can heighten your body’s sensations,” says Holovitz.
If vibrations aren’t for you, you may hit buttocks bliss with a stainless steel dildo “for firmer, fuller pressure,” as Williams puts it. Some may be aroused by the cool sensation of this toy, as well.
To take your orgasm to even greater heights, try this: “If you choose to play with anal masturbation with penetration, time the removal of your toy to coincide with your orgasm,” says McDevitt. “This works especially well with anal beads, as the ‘zip’ of each bead being withdrawn can up the intensity of the orgasm.”
The bottom line (hehe): There are many ways to experiment with anal masturbation. Just be sure to start slowly, lube up, and use toys with a flared base. And have fun!
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Nope, we’re not talking about putting your penis in your lady’s asshole. We’re talking about stimulating your asshole. If you’re like many straight guys, your interest in this article just plummeted. Lots of straight men are turned off by the idea of anal play (to be fair, many bi and gay men are too), and as a result are missing out on a whole world of fun. Today we’re here to convince you that it’s time to stop ignoring your ass.
This is the third in a multi-part series from After Hours about anal play. You can see the other posts in the series as they come out here .
Because it feels good! End of paragraph.
Seriously though, your anus and rectum are full of nerve endings, just like your penis. Your rectum is also home to your prostate gland , another pleasure center. In fact, you can have an orgasm from stimulation of the prostate gland alone—something a lot of straight men don’t know. Anal play feels great on its own, and can lead to unbelievably intense orgasms.
Plus, it’s a little taboo, which makes it exciting. Even though anal for guys shouldn’t be taboo, it is, and exploring the taboo can add a naughty intensity to your sex life. There are a number of different ways to play with your anus (which we’ll get to shortly), and it’s exciting to venture into uncharted territory.
No. It’s a shame that so many guys still operate under the caveman-like mentality that “butt = gay.” Listen, guys, your sexual identity is defined by the gender of people you’re attracted to, not by the parts of your body that you play with. Lots of bi and gay men enjoy oral sex. Does enjoying oral sex “make you gay” too? Of course not.
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The simple fact of the matter is that there are nerve endings in your anus. It feels good to have stimulation there. But the only way anal play defines your sexuality is if you want another guy to stimulate your anus and you choose to identify yourself as gay.
If the idea of going straight for your anus is too intimidating to you, you can experiment with your grundle first. The grundle, taint, or otherwise known by it’s fancier name, the perineum , is the strip of skin between your testicles and your anus. Stimulating it will give you a little hint of what anal play can feel like. It responds well to firm pressure, so try using your middle finger to give it a massage while you masturbate. You can also ask your lady to massage the area with her knuckle while she gives you a handjob or blowjob.
It’s worth exploring your anus on your own first. Check out our article on beginners butt play for some tips. Even if you don’t love your experience with solo anal play, it’s worth asking a partner to take a trip to your anus. Anal play can feel a lot better when someone else is performing the deed. If you feel nervous asking your lady to put her finger in your butt, send her this article and say something like, “I’d never thought of doing this before, but this article makes it seem like something worth trying. Are you game?” She’s entitled to her own sexual boundaries, so she may say no. But a good sexual partner should at least be respectful of your requests. If she makes any mocking or derogatory comments, she’s not a keeper.
You’ve got a butt, but (heh) the odds are that you’re probably ignoring it. Your ass has the…
If she’s willing to give it a shot, get yourself cleaned up and ready to go. Have her start giving you a handjob or blowjob. Make sure you’re aroused before venturing into backdoor territory. When you tell her you’re ready, have her start with touching her lubed-up fingertip to your asshole. She should keep her finger there and continue her other activities. If it’s feeling good to you, ask her to push her finger in up to the first knuckle. Have her push in slowly, hold her finger there for a second, then slowly ease it back out. She should continue at this pace for a few rounds. If you’re into it, you can ask her to go in further, to pick up her pace, or to do both.
Keep communicating about what feels best for you. From there, enjoy the ride and congratulate yourself for being evolved enough to experience the joys of anal play!
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Back in the day, “butt stuff” may have been something only ever seen in porn or talked about by fraternity brothers. But now that anal sex has lost some of the stigma, the butt is finally getting the attention it deserves.
And while you might think anal play simply means sticking things up your butt (which, yes, is part of it), anal foreplay is just as important for ensuring a safe and pleasurable experience for all parties.
For starters, anal foreplay can happen by rimming your partner or giving/receiving an anal massage with a toy , finger, dildo , or penis. But keep in mind anal foreplay can absolutely be the main event—meaning nothing (not even penetration) has to come after it.
“Anal sex [of any kind] isn’t just for people interested in kink , but it’s great for all genders who want to ‘explore their sexual interest and desires,’” says erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven Taylor Sparks .
But just like you’ve gotta walk before you can run, it’s a good idea to do a lil research and prep work before diving into anal play. Not only will this help keep you safe, but it’ll ensure you have the best possible booty sexperience.
So, whether you’re just looking to change things up or just want to take your time with backdoor foreplay before you do dive into penetrative anal sex, here are 39 expert-recommended anal sex and foreplay tips for both first-timers and experienced butt explorers.
First and foremost, anal sex shouldn’t hurt. If it does, stop. Please. Sure, the sensation might feel a bit foreign, and you might be a little sore after, but pain isn’t supposed to be part of it. It should basically just feel like you might need to poop during the action. Lawrence Johnson, CEO and cofounder of the leading gay men’s lifestyle brand Pure for Men , says preparation and communication are essential to making it pleasurable and enjoyable. Above all, you need to “relax your muscles and breathe,” advises sexologist Emily Morse .
Anal sex isn’t inherently dirtier than other types of sex. In fact, Johnson says with a little preparation, you can expect “the most pleasurable, clean, and worry-free experience ever.” This is because, as clinical sexologist Kat Van Kirk explains, the anus and the lower part of the rectum actually have very little fecal material in them, which means it tends to not be nearly as dirty as you think. More details on how to ”prep” below.
The reason: “You can absolutely transmit STDs and STIs during anal sex,” Johnson explains. This is because not only is there skin-to-skin contact and exchange of fluids, but the lining of the anus can be damaged due to friction, making it susceptible to infection. That’s why you should always use condoms—not only with anal sex but with any type of intimacy where genital fluids are exchanged.
Another good reason to wear a condom? You actually can get pregnant from anal sex if you’re not careful with your cleanup. Depending on where (or if) your partner ejaculates, semen could leak down/out of your anus and get inside your vagina, resulting in a pregnancy . Now this is rare, but the hottest sex is the one you can feel safe about, so do what you can to eliminate unwanted reproductions like STIs and infants.
Going into anal sex, your first thought might be to give yourself an enema, and while clinical sexologist Nancy Sutton Pierce says anal douching is safe every once in a while, it’s a good practice to steer clear. “Douching destroys your rectal microbiome, so regular use is not recommended,” explains Fabian Prado, CMO and cofounder of Pure for Men . Prado also adds that anal douching may lead to higher rates of STD transmission , which is why skipping the enema and opting for a condom is the smart move. If you still want to clean up, some warm water splashed on your anus will give you a quick cleanse.
If you are skipping the enema but still want to feel as clean as possible, both Prado and Johnson recommend eating a high-fiber diet. “Fiber for staying ready is one of the best-kept secrets of the bottom community,” Johnson says. “Aside from its many other key health benefits, dietary fiber literally keeps your sh*t together and moves it out of your system with regularity.”
Having plenty of fiber—found in foods like berries, broccoli, and beans—will keep everything clean and regular. You can also opt for a fiber supplement like Pure for Her to ensure both your anal sex and your sheets stay clean.
While there’s no need to stress about fecal matter during anal sex—not only because these tips help eliminate that but also because you should have a trusting partner who supports you despite any poo—you might feel comfier going number two prior to doing the deed. Just make sure to clean well afterward and wash with soap if there’s going to be any mouth-to-anus action.
And speaking of pooping, Johnson and Prado say you can expec
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