Dad Fucked My Boyfriend

Dad Fucked My Boyfriend
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Natalie Portman on feminism and becoming a superhero
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Natalie Portman on feminism and becoming a superhero
I’m a 24-year-old gay man with a 31-year-old bi boyfriend. I’ve known since we got together that he’s a lot more sexually experienced than I am, but it’s never been a big deal before now. This weekend, he met my parents for what we thought would be the first time. But it turns out that ten years ago, during his “big bi slut phase” (his words), they had a threesome. I recognize that no one did anything wrong—they were three consenting adults—and it’s not like anyone could’ve known that he and I would get together in the future. But also, my boyfriend fucked my parents! I’m mortified, he’s mortified, they’re mortified, and I may never be able to look at my parents again. Please help us find a way to move past this!
I’ve been writing Savage Love for almost thirty years—it’ll be thirty years this September—and I rarely get letters that surprise me anymore. But after reading your letter today… and then laying in a dark room with a cool washcloth over my eyes for six hours… I came to a few realizations.
First, I can still be surprised. Thank you for that. Second, if couples in their forties with teenage children at home are gonna have threesomes with guys in their twenties—and some are—there will always be a hard-to-quantify-but-nevertheless-ineliminable risk that their children, once grown, could wind up meeting and fucking and even falling in love one of the guys their parents had a threesome with back in the day. Third, since I helped create a world where fortysomething couples with kids sometimes have MMF threesomes with twentysomething bisexual dudes, IKHWIB, this is all my fault oh my God what have I done can you ever forgive me.
With that said, IKHWIB, do you know who I think should weigh in on this? The former mayor of Minneapolis.
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“If they’ve been able to laugh about this, that’s a good sign,” said Betsy Hodges, who was the mayor of Minneapolis from 2014 to 2018. “It might be a while before he can look at his boyfriend and not think about his parents having sex. That’s a tough thing to navigate, but laughter helps.”
It may seem kind of random that the former mayor of Minneapolis is giving you sex advice, IKHWIB, but Hodges reached to me after I posted your letter to Twitter , where I told my followers—the former mayor of Minneapolis among them—that I was going to run your letter in my column even though I didn’t have the faintest idea what to tell you. Betsy Hodges, on the other hand, knew exactly what to say.
“He has to ask himself if the boyfriend is worth it,” said Hodges. “Everything really depends on the strength of their connection—which will have to be weighed against whatever tension now exists between IKHWIB, his boyfriend, and his parents. Can they navigate that tension? If any of them feel bad (as opposed to mortified) about what happened and they aren’t motivated to work through this and don’t have the tools for doing so, this will go sideways.” The Honorable Betsy Hodges suggests that the four of you have a conversation about what happened and how you want to handle things going forward.
“Having that conversation—which I know sounds dreadful—could actually help them think about this less,” said Hodges, “especially if they get to a point where they can laugh about the insanity and awkwardness of the situation they’ve all found themselves in.”
You can laugh about this until you pass out, IKHWIB, but if you can’t suck your boyfriend’s cock without thinking about your dad sucking your boyfriend’s cock, you may not be able to get past this. If you can’t look at your mom without thinking about her sitting on your boyfriend’s face, you might not be able to get past this. If you can’t take your boyfriend’s load without thinking about the load he dropped in dad or your mom or both (21-year-olds have great stamina and such short refractory periods), you might not be able to get past this. You might be able to, like Hodges said, think about this less.
While I’m doubtful there’s a memory hole out there big enough to stuff this in and tight enough to prevent it from falling right back out, IKHWIB, perhaps your parents have already shown you how it’s done. I know when I came out to my mom, IKHWIB, she had a really hard time being around any guy I was dating due to the unwelcome mental images that plagued her when she saw me with a boyfriend. She could look at my sister and her boyfriend without picturing her little girl sucking that boy’s cock, but she somehow couldn’t look at my boyfriend without picturing that brute sodomizing her little boy. It took some very awkward conversations, some raised voices, and, yes, some laughter before my mom successfully willed herself to stop conjuring up mental images of me getting my ass fucked. Maybe with some time, some awkward conversations, and a little laughter you’ll be able to purge all those unwelcome mental images of your boyfriend railing your parents from your mind too.
I guess my point is, if the parents of gay and straight kids can pretend not to know what they damn well do know, i.e., that their grown children are sexually active adults now, and if they can learn not to torture themselves with unwelcome mental images of our partners fucking the shit out of us, IKHWIB, seems to me that we should be able to do the same for them: Recognize that our parents are sexual beings and at the same time expunge all unwelcome mental images from our minds. Yours is a much heavier lift than most, I realize, but if your boyfriend is worth it, IKHWIB, you at least gotta try.
P.S. Perhaps this verse by poet Philip Larkin will help put things in perspective…
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you.
You’re not the first person whose parents… well, let’s not say your parents fucked you up. Instead let’s say you’re not the first person whose parents were a little extra. Good luck.
Follow Betsy Hodges on Twitter @BetsyHodges .
I’m a woman in her twenties in a relationship. I have a great connection with my partner, we communicate well, and the sex is the best in my life. There’s only one thing getting in the way: My partner and I started going out six months ago, immediately after the end of a relatively short but very intense relationship. I was with my previous partner for about a year. We were deeply in love but eventually broke up because he moved to another country. While I love my current partner and want him in my life, I am finding it hard to commit. I think what’s holding me back is not having the time to process the end of my previous relationship. I feel as my ex still takes up space in my heart and this prevents me from fully letting my new partner in. I want to let go of the thought of my ex (we haven’t even spoken in half a year) and open fully up to my new partner, but it’s been difficult because the story with my ex feels unfinished. What do I do?
You may always feel regret about your previous partner since it ended for reasons outside either of your control and his—and just for the record, there’s no guarantee you won’t feel some regret about your current partner, if your new relationship ends, which it might. (I mean, it’s only been six months. A little soon to be tossing “partner” around, if you ask me, which you did.) But did your last relationship really end for reasons neither you nor your ex could control? If he had no choice but to move to another country and/or if there was no way for you to go with him, okay, then the end was outside your control and his. But if he could’ve stayed and chose not to, WHACK, or if you could’ve gone with him and chose not to, well, then it didn’t end due to circumstance outside your control. Focusing on that—reminding yourself that an active choice was made to finish that relationship off—might help you get past the somewhat paralyzing degree of regret you currently feel. And if that doesn’t work, WHACK, perhaps a little more of the best sex you’ve ever had will do the trick.
My new book, Savage Love From A to Z, is available now for pre-order! mail@savagelove.net Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage. www.savagelovecast.com

Wife confronts cheating husband on camera
Keyboard Shortcuts Enabled Disabled
MAFS' KC Osborne reveals dining with Bryce and his former fiancee
MAFS' KC Osborne reveals dining with Bryce and his former fiancee
Benji Marshall and his wife Zoe have welcomed a baby boy
Nadia Lim on the surprising reason her husband knew she was the one
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Simon Barnett gives an emotional update on his wife’s battle with brain cancer
Ottie confronts Gareth about his sexist comments
Watch The Moment The Duchess Beats Her Husband At Gum-Boot Throwing
Watch A Current Affair confronts The Bachelor Nick Cummins
Art Green confronts media about coverage of Riot Foods
Eva Mendes says husband Ryan Gosling loves painting with their daughters
I opened my bedroom window quietly and threw out my overnight bag.
Then I clambered out onto the ledge and lowered myself to the grass below.
I was 16 and sneaking out to see my new boyfriend, Calvin, 18.
We'd met at school and had started dating, but there was just one problem…my dad.
He thought I was too young to have a boyfriend, so I was sneaking out to see Calvin.
When I got round the corner, Calvin was there waiting.
"You've made it," he said, giving me a big hug. I always had so much fun with Calvin.
One weekend we went to see his dad, David, who took us to a fireworks display.
David was like an older, more charming version of Calvin.
I liked him; he always asked about my day and seemed genuinely interested.
Time passed. I left school and got a job as a receptionist at a computer repair centre.
I enjoyed making my own money, but Calvin didn't like it.
One night I went round to his house after work.
"I know what you've been up to," he shouted.
"Don't be so ridiculous," I told him. He kept on about it and I started to wonder if perhaps it was time for us to call it a day.
Things weren't great between us and we were both so young – what was Calvin going to say?
To my relief, he was thrilled. I hoped the baby would bring us closer together, but he quickly lost interest and even refused to come to my first scan.
Then at seven weeks along, after an argument, I felt something warm between my legs.
I rushed straight to the hospital but it was too late, I'd lost the baby.
I was so crushed and Calvin and I drifted further apart.
One day he was supposed to pick me up from work but he never showed.
I had to find out what was going on.
I tried calling him but he didn't pick up, so I phoned one of his friends.
"Oh, he's probably with Aliex." The friend said.
I didn't know he had a mate called Aliex.
My heart started to hammer in my chest. Afterwards, I went round to his house and banged on the door.
"I know you're in there!" I shouted.
Eventually he opened it, looking hot and flustered.
"You've got a girl in here haven't you?" I demanded.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he snorted.
I tried to push past him but he blocked my path.
Then I noticed something on his neck – a love bite!
"Er, my mate did it with a vacuum cleaner," he laughed awkwardly.
I never wanted to see him again, but we both worked at the same Chinese restaurant so I had no choice.
At work, he kept trying to apologise and swore he wasn't seeing Aliex anymore, but I didn't believe him.
Then one day, his phone rang and I could hear a female voice on the other end.
"I'm with Calvin right now," I shouted so Aliex would hear.
"If you stay with him, you're stupid!"
I was upset but determined to move on with my life.
Later, my phone rang and I heard a familiar voice on the other end.
"How are you doing, Laura?" he asked. "I heard about what happened with Calvin and wanted to check you're okay."
"I'm glad to hear it," he said. "Look, I don't suppose you'd fancy meeting up for a drink?"
I was shocked! My boyfriend's dad had invited me out. Or rather, ex-boyfriend. Was this overstepping the line?
Who cares what Calvin thinks! I thought.
Tune in to the latest episode of Take 5's Ripper Real Life podcast below to hear the juicy details!
© Copyright 2022 Are Media PTY Limited
All products are independently selected, tested or recommended by our team of experts. If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.
He’d done the dirty but was about to get a big surprise…
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Wife confronts cheating husband on camera
Keyboard Shortcuts Enabled Disabled
MAFS' KC Osborne reveals dining with Bryce and his former fiancee
MAFS' KC Osborne reveals dining with Bryce and his former fiancee
Benji Marshall and his wife Zoe have welcomed a baby boy
Nadia Lim on the surprising reason her husband knew she was the one
After Her Husband Died, This Grandma Received the Ultimate Christmas Gift
Simon Barnett gives an emotional update on his wife’s battle with brain cancer
Ottie confronts Gareth about his sexist comments
Watch The Moment The Duchess Beats Her Husband At Gum-Boot Throwing
Watch A Current Affair confronts The Bachelor Nick Cummins
Art Green confronts media about coverage of Riot Foods
Eva Mendes says husband Ryan Gosling loves painting with their daughters
I opened my bedroom window quietly and threw out my overnight bag.
Then I clambered out onto the ledge and lowered myself to the grass below.
I was 16 and sneaking out to see my new boyfriend, Calvin, 18.
We'd met at school and had started dating, but there was just one problem…my dad.
He thought I was too young to have a boyfriend, so I was sneaking out to see Calvin.
When I got round the corner, Calvin was there waiting.
"You've made it," he said, giving me a big hug. I always had so much fun with Calvin.
One weekend we went to see his dad, David, who took us to a fireworks display.
David was like an older, more charming version of Calvin.
I liked him; he always asked about my day and seemed genuinely interested.
Time passed. I left school and got a job as a receptionist at a computer repair centre.
I enjoyed making my own money, but Calvin didn't like it.
One night I went round to his house after work.
"I know what you've been up to," he shouted.
"Don't be so ridiculous," I told him. He kept on about it and I started to wonder if perhaps it was time for us to call it a day.
Things weren't great between us and we were both so young – what was Calvin going to say?
To my relief, he was thrilled. I hoped the baby would bring us closer together, but he quickly lost interest and even refused to come to my first scan.
Then at seven weeks along, after an argument, I felt something warm between my legs.
I rushed straight to the hospital but it was too late, I'd lost the baby.
I was so crushed and Calvin and I drifted further apart.
One day he was supposed to pick me up from work but he never showed.
I had to find out what was going on.
I tried calling him but he didn't pick up, so I phoned one of his friends.
"Oh, he's probably with Aliex." The friend said.
I didn't know he had a mate called Aliex.
My heart started to hammer in my chest. Afterwards, I went round to his house and banged on the door.
"I know you're in there!" I shouted.
Eventually he opened it, looking hot and flustered.
"You've got a girl in here haven't you?" I demanded.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he snorted.
I tried to push past him but he blocked my path.
Then I noticed something on his neck – a love bite!
"Er, my mate did it with a vacuum cleaner," he laughed awkwardly.
I never wanted to see him again, but we both worked at the same Chinese restaurant so I had no choice.
At work, he kept trying to apologise and swore he wasn't seeing Aliex anymore, but I didn't believe him.
Then one day, his phone rang and I could hear a female voice on the other end.
"I'm with Calvin right now," I shouted so Aliex would hear.
"If you stay with him, you're stupid!"
I was upset but determined to move on with my life.
Later, my phone rang and I heard a familiar voice on the other end.
"How are you doing, Laura?" he asked. "I heard about what happened with Calvin and wanted to check you're okay."
"I'm glad to hear it," he said. "Look, I don't suppose you'd fancy meeting up for a drink?"
I was shocked! My boyfriend's dad had invited me out. Or rather, ex-boyfriend. Was this overstepping the line?
Who cares what Calvin thinks! I thought.
Tune in to the latest episode of Take 5's Ripper Real Life podcast below to hear the juicy details!
© Copyright 2022 Are Media PTY Limited
All products are independently selected, tested or recommended by our team of experts. If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.
He’d done the dirty but was about to get a big surprise…
The latest news delivered to your inbox

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