FREE shipping on orders over $65 (*some exclusions apply)Budgets are almost always one of the hardest, and scariest, parts of planning a wedding. Unfortunately, they’re generally the part you have to figure out first. There’s a lot of discussion around that weddings are expensive because they’re weddings… and as someone who does them professionally, I don’t actually think this is true. Throwing a “traditional” wedding is expensive because throwing a big, fancy, sit-down dinner party with entertainment is expensive. Really—ask someone who works in corporate events how much they cost, and minus the fancy dress, they’re generally on par. I also want to note at the start that this is framed in the context of the Northern California event market—which is one of the more expensive markets in the country (for, let’s be honest, everything, not just events). I thought it would be helpful to look at the budgets of four actual weddings from 2012. (Disclaimer: none of these have been published on APW.)
While these aren’t exhaustive options, I’ve included a wedding that was under the $5,000 mark, two within the $20,000-$30,000 range, and one that was $50,000, since these tend to be popular budget benchmarks in my area. I also chose to include only thirteen key budget lines, instead of… all of them, to make comparison easier. I excluded personal clothing (i.e. wedding dresses), as well as other miscellaneous costs, tried to group things in a way that made sense and made them comparable, and generally rounded to the nearest hundred dollars. What it looked like: City hall ceremony and dinner for 10, followed by a casual, afternoon reception at home, featuring drinks, cupcakes, and a light buffet for 60 the next day. What it looked like: Family property, with full ceremony, stand-up buffet dinner provided by food-only caterers, and pro-DJ provided music for 100 guests. What it looked like: A popular event venue, with full-service, buffet-style catering for 120, and a DJ-provided dance party.
What it looked like: All-inclusive wine country venue, multi-course plated meal for 115, an eight-piece live band, full bar.I was at all four of these weddings, and all four of them were among of the best weddings I’ve ever been to (and I have been to a lot of weddings). Does this mean that the $20,000 and $50,000 couples could have spent less and had just as good of a time? What I loved about all four of these weddings is that they were really authentic to the couples who had them—each couple spent what they and their families could afford, no one went into debt, and they were all in the style that these couples generally entertain in. And that’s the key—making your wedding, and your budget, authentic to you. Maybe you cannot imagine your wedding involving anything other than a sit-down meal, and you can easily afford it, or you’re willing to save for a year to pay for it, or you end up deciding to only have twenty-five people attend that sit-down meal. Maybe cake in the church reception hall is what you’ve always imagined, or maybe you realize that having 350 people* there is what’s most important, and so you forgo the meal and just buy some really awesome cake.
One of my favorite wedding stories belongs to a family friend—they were young and poor and living in New York in the ’70s when they got married—they couldn’t afford a “real” wedding, so they spent their whole budget on champagne and caviar and had a reception in their apartment, because damn it, it was going to be decadent. (More than thirty years later, she still throws some of the best house parties in the world.) There’s a lot of shame around money in the wedding industry—who spent too little, and who spent too much. I’m here to tell you that ninety-nine percent of people cannot tell how much a wedding cost from being at it, or from seeing photos (the one percent who can work in the wedding industry… it’s our job). If you didn’t go into crushing debt? You didn’t spend too much. If you were concerned about being a good host to your guests? You didn’t spend too little. If you ended up married and happy? Then you accomplished what a wedding is supposed to accomplish.
Stay authentic to yourselves and to your relationship. And remember that what your guests really want is to see a happy couple get married and to celebrate with you. And most won’t mind if it’s over a five-course meal or a piece of cake on a paper plate. *True story—I just recently learned that my parents had 350 people at their church-wedding-cake-and-punch-reception. Because apparently both of my grandmothers invited every single person they’d ever known, many of whom my mother had never met before and never saw again. Photo by: Emily Takes Photos (APW Sponsor)A love of travel is what brought Whitney Leipzig and Ross Spielfogel, both 29, together. They both studied abroad in Sydney, Australia, though even their network of mutual friends failed to connect them until they'd both returned to the States and got in touch on Facebook. More flight time ensued as their long distance relationship had the duo going back and forth between New York and Florida until Ross made the move and joined Whitney in the Big Apple.In 2011, Ross planned a weekend trip to New Orleans, telling Whitney to dress nicely for their flight so they could go straight to dinner upon arrival.
As they arrived at JFK's jetBlue terminal, Ross asked Whitney for his Blackberry, which he swore he'd given her to hold. As she dug around in her bag in the middle of the busy check-in area, Ross grabbed her hand and got down on one knee. "After all my suspicions about a proposal, he still managed to surprise me," Whitney says. The trip turned out to be a ruse, but the limo full of family members waiting outside the terminal carried the couple to a celebration worthy of Ross's scheme.It's no wonder, then, that this jet-setting couple chose to host a destination wedding in Mexico on the weekend of December 8th, 2012. Read on to see how all the beachy, South of the Border details came together."We wanted all of our guests to stay at the resort with us so they could celebrate with us all weekend," says Whitney. They chose the Rosewood Mayakoba, with suites arranged along winding lagoons and a mile-long stretch of soft sand.Guests joined the couple for three major events: the Friday night Fiesta, Saturday wedding, and Sunday brunch.
Ross and Whitney's invitation suite, in ivory, silver, and turquoise, reflected the resort's color scheme and pristine waters.Whitney doubled her dose of sparkle with two pairs of glittering shoes: Jimmy Choo sling-backs and silver Christian Louboutin pumps.Whitney donned a lace Vera Wang gown, accented with a shimmering belt. Her white-and-pink bouquet of Calla lilies, roses, ranunculus, and parrot tulips was tied with a piece of lace from her grandmother's wedding dress, and studded with brooches. "I loaned the brooches to my Maid of Honor as the 'something borrowed' for her wedding," says Whitney. Ross wore a classic Hugo Boss tuxedo, which he paired with his great grandfather's watch and cufflinks.As the sun set over Mexico, Ross and Whitney signed their hand-painted ketubah. "The artist incorporated birds, vines, and flowers into the design to match the resort," says the bride.The ceremony took place overlooking the lagoon, under a natural wood chuppah draped in flowers. Crystal chandeliers cast a warm glow over the ceremony.
"I'll always remember the expression on Ross's face as we locked eyes on my way down the aisle," Whitney says. Little did he know, she had a surprise in store for him during their first kiss!"I still can't believe I was able to keep the fireworks a secret," says Whitney.Instead of traditional place cards, guests names were carved into limestone rocks, matching the material used to construct the resort. "I wanted our guests to have something special to remember the wedding by instead of just another tchotchke," Whitney explains.The couple skipped the guest book in favor of a beautiful globe. Guests were encouraged to leave them a message on the globe's surface.The open-air reception allowed guests to enjoy Riviera Maya's warm ocean breeze all evening. Centerpieces overflowed with pink and purple roses, orchids, and greenery. "We kept the centerpieces either very high or very low so everyone could see across the table," says Whitney. Candles in mercury holders lit the room as night fell.No Mexican wedding would be complete without tequila or a mariachi band!
"We wanted guests to be able to sample different types, so we set up a tequila bar," says Whitney. "Not to mention our five specialty cocktails!"The mariachi band played during cocktail hour, before a DJ and live musicians took over to get the party started.Ross and Whitney surprised their guests with a choreographed first dance. "I changed into a shorter dress so I could do all the moves," she says. After starting off the dance to One Republic's "Good Life," the song changed to "You're the One that I Want" from Grease. "We were both so into it, lip-syncing the whole thing," Whitney remembers. "The crowd was roaring!"The white floral wedding cake was dusted with pearl shimmer to make it glow. Inside, pink champagne cake was layered with chocolate buttercream and fresh strawberries.At midnight, the reception ended and guests poured out onto the beach for the after-party. "It was supposed to end at 2 a.m., but everyone was having too much fun," remembers Whitney. "My father-in-law, who speaks fluent Spanish, convinced the beach officials, vendors and resort team to extend the music, food, and fun until 4!"
Guests were treated to hand-rolled cigars, s'mores, and a performance by fire dancers as they partied on the colored dance floor and nibbled on a bevy of sweet treats. "We had so much fun that Ross and I almost missed the Farewell Brunch on Sunday," says Whitney. "Thank goodness our parents stopped by to knock on the door!"The couple spent another week at the resort after the wedding, enjoying newly-wedded bliss. For their first anniversary, they boarded yet another plane and took their official honeymoon to South Africa and Zanzibar. "I loved having something to look forward to and plan in the months after the wedding," Whitney says.Ceremony & Reception Venue: Rosewood Mayakoba || Wedding Planner: Arianna Iturralde of Rosewood Mayakoba || Bride's Wedding Dress & Veil: Vera Wang || Shoes: Jimmy Choo, Christian Louboutin || Jewelry: Family heirlooms || Hair & Makeup: The Makeup Pros || Bridesmaids' Dresses: Amsale, from Bella Bridesmaids || Groom's Tuxedo: Hugo Boss || Groomsmen's Tuxedos: Black by Vera Wang ||