gender dichotomy

Previously I recounted my binge into the manosphere, as well as other feminist and misandrist communities, and I started continuing this quest into understanding gender interplay today until I realized something: I don't care. I shouldn't care. Giving a fuck about this stuff is possibly harmful.

I am not a spiritual person. I don't believe that there is some vague masculine or feminine spirit that inhabits us all. I am not a person that believes in concrete gender roles. Both men and women should be homebodies and breadwinners. There is, of course, some biological drives at play here, but I think that it is difficult to separate them entirely from societal tradition, so I won't go into them either.

I am fucking sick and tired of people talking about female representation or what it means to be a man. By prescribing different emotions or mindsets to a specific gender (shame, fear, pride), we are already closing our minds to the possibilities of human experience. I'm fucking sick of seeing some male artist be praised for "understanding the female mind" or knowing how to "write women" because I feel that writing a character as a a man or a women misses the entire point of writing a character: the individualism.

I think that this drive for categorization, while very understandable, is a shortcut for actual human interaction and understanding, and is especially harmful in real life interactions. If someone looks at me and listens to what I'm saying through the lens of "man", I'd be insulted, because that means you're not evaluating the content of my words themselves. You are instead thinking, "this man (with all the baggage that society has stuffed into that word) is saying x, which means-" NOTHING. It means nothing. Words are the greatest invention of human beings; they are attempts to package and share semantic and mnemonic meaning between individuals. To pollute them with assumptions and all this crap is just.... ahahahdfahgha.

Maybe I'm autistic or something. I hate that we live in a world of liars that fuck it up for everyone else. I understand that people lie and intend harm (or are apathetic to it) sometimes, and that we need to not take everything at face value. Maybe I'm more honest than most people. I tend to lay out exactly how and why I'm feeling to someone, whereas others obfuscate their true selves and create the need for this extra contextualization.

Shit, I got a little off track. Anyways, I think that the ascription of certain roles or emotions or archetypes to men or women get in the way of actually getting to know that individual. When I'm on a date with a girl, I'm not trying to understand her as a woman. That is far too narrow of a lens to analyze someone under. I'm trying to understand the human underneath all of the labels, which makes it especially annoying when people cling to and hide behind them. Be a fucking individual, god damn.