There's no prop on television that's more coveted than Game of Thrones' Iron Throne. For the past four seasons, the Iron Throne — built from the swords of a thousand fallen enemies, and forged by dragon fire — has been at the center of most of the conflicts in Game of Thrones. It has become so iconic that it even popped up in another TV show: It's hard to imagine a Game of Thrones fan who wouldn't have that kind of freak-out if the Iron Throne suddenly materialized in their living room. Fortunately, HBO sells a full-scale replica; unfortunately, that replica costs $30,000 (plus $2,500 for shipping). But while the actual Iron Throne might be as elusive in real life as it is on the screen, there are a surprising number of real-life alternatives that don't require a lot of bloodshed or a Lannister-sized bank account. Here are six cheap ways to get your own Iron Throne: You already have at least one throne in your house, so why not just add a few swords and call it a day?
A quick search turns up plenty of sellers offering a sword-laden decal designed to fit perfectly behind a standard toilet bowl. At around $30, it's a cheap but no-frills option — but you can always get a little more elaborate if the spirit moves you. The Iron Throne is one of the most coveted chairs in pop-culture, but it's not exactly known for being comfortable. Fortunately, Nerd by Night blogger Isabell Kiko came up with an ingenious compromise: a beanbag version of the Iron Throne. Kiko provides helpful, detailed instructions, so with a sewing machine and "a gazillion hours free time," you can make your own softer, gentler riff on the Iron Throne. If you don't have the strength to lug a 350-pound chair around, why not settle for the ability to turn any chair into an Iron Throne? Sky Atlantic partnered with NOW TV to give away a cushioned seat with a sword-laden backboard that fits onto everything from an office chair to an easy chair. The only catch: just like the real Iron Throne, you couldn't just buy it.
You had to win it by answering a Game of Thrones trivia question: "What is the name of Joffrey Baratheon's mother?" Real tough one, guys. (CC BY: Doug Kline/The Conmunity — Pop Culture Geek) For a brief, magical moment, anyone could take a free ride in their very own mobile Iron Throne. To promote the premier of the third season, HBO unleashed a series of Game of Thrones pedicabs to shuttle people around at SXSW. The mobile Iron Thrones didn't pop up again this year — but given the show's tendency to revisit long-forgotten stories, who knows where they'll show up next? One ingenious Game of Thrones fan, who goes by the handle flaming_pele, built an impressive Iron Throne replica out of an Adirondack lawn chair — and he was kind enough to provide step-by-step instructions to help you do the same. All told, he estimates the project cost around $100 to complete. It may be wood and plastic, but it's a lot more reasonable than paying the iron price. If you're really bent on building your own Iron Throne from scratch, it's theoretically possible — but you'd better have some time on your hands.
Professional swordsmith Jake Powning speculates that it could take as long as 700,000 hours to forge the 1,000 swords that make up the Iron Throne. From there, you'd need to mold the swords to fit a chair frame — preferably by dragon. (If you can't track one down, welding torches would also do the trick). On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a fervent Song of Ice and Fire fan who yearns to fulfill an elaborate sexual fantasy based around your Iron Throne replica. Well, at least until you post a public Craigslist ad saying as much. The Seven Kingdoms were abuzz yesterday when a sexually-charged, Game of Thrones-referencing personal ad began circulating around the Internet. The listing, originally posted on New Orleans’s Casual Encounters Craigslist board, was supposedly written by a 25-year-old woman who’s looking for a “Stark in the streets but a wildling in the sheets” to get bizzay in costume with her. It’s such a poetic masterpiece that you might as well just read the entire thing:
I am an avid fan of George R. R. Martin’s series Game of Thrones (both the books and the show). I have recently purchased a replica of the Iron Throne as seen in the television show, and need a partner to play out an elaborate fanatsy [sic]. In my fantasy, I am Daenerys Stormborn Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, and Rightful Heir to the Iron Throne and the Seven Kingdoms. After crossing the Narrow Sea and defeating the forces of Westeros, it is within my power and right to slay all of those who betrayed my family and denied me my rightful place for so many years. The most vile enemies of house Targaryen, House Stark and House Baratheon must pay the highest price. All of those who fought against the Mother of Dragons are slain — all except one. When I come to Robb Stark, out [sic] eyes lock and something moves inside of me. I realize I need to have him, want him, and I can tell he is thinking the same. I order my guards to throw him in the dungeon and later that night, I have him brought to me, in the throne room.
There, on the Iron Throne I’ve so recently won, I make wild and passionate love with him, repeatedly. Please only respond to this post if you look like Robb Stark! I would appreciate pictures, but please, no names. In order to stay as true to the fantasy as possible, I ONLY want you to refer to yourself as Robb Stark. You will need to provide your own clothing. Please keep in mind that you will have recently participated in a battle and been thrown in a dungeon, so you will not be wearing your nicest furs. I’m looking for a Stark in the streets but a wildling in the sheets. Upon reading this, our first reaction wasn’t shock or awe — it was curiosity about the poster’s Iron Throne replica. Could she possibly have purchased the $30,000, 350-lb model available via HBO’s website — the one that went on sale last year and has inspired hilarious customer reviews from the likes of “Aerys Targaryen” (“The traitors want my city … but I’ll give them naught but ashes.