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Would you like to know what a few of the best, most random MSIB status updates were, on this date, November 11th (2011-2014)? -I've just eaten* sixteen bunches of grapes** *drunk **bottles of wine (Danny Coleiro) - Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds? (MY STATUS IS BADDEST) - Life is filled with people who either take too much medication or not enough. - I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll smoke your joint down... ~ Big bad stoner wolf, probably (Tim TheStache) - I only tip cows if their service is outstanding. - Does it make you uncomfortable that I wear your profile pic in a locket around my neck? -I have never lowered a pair of mini-blinds evenly, not even one time...How the hell do they expect me to raise these children? - I don't think first three letters in diet are accidental. - Don't you hate it when the person you're Facebook-stalking never updates anything? - Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ♥ LOL JK, I have to pee.
Everybody calm down and quit panicking. I have a ham. - Keep scrolling, I got nothin. - I hate it when I'm taking a shower and the door opens and they're all "Get out of my house!" - I hate that awkward moment when you see a 3rd grader with a better phone than you. - I hope that Jessica Biel has a son someday and names him Batmo. - I think if a movie is ever made about my life a good title for it would be, "Yes, it's a mustard stain. - I wish someone would write a movie about my life. I think "Pretty In Mayonnaise" would be a good title. - Today was one of those days where, if I had Tourette's, no one would've noticed the difference. - I'm so glad none of my friends are smart enough to find this page! - I don't mean to be negative but - (SamGirl Sunday) Visit my FACEBOOK PAGE tomorrow for more vintage status updates! I mean, you know, whatever. I've compiled a few status updates that were shared on my FACEBOOK PAGE, on this date, November 10th (2011-2014).
By "a few", I mean 30. What can I say? You people are funny. - My kids don't have Facebook, so I will never know when their birthdays are. - I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don't squish you guys. - I am more excited to see my suitcase come down the luggage carousel at an airport than I am to see most people. - I just drew a jelly smile on my toast with a squeeze bottle but I still don't believe it is happy. - It's amazing how many opinions you can form about a person based on the way they drive. - Women seem to want security. At least that's what they yell whenever I approach them. - I like to start conversations with "zymurgy", so that if it becomes an argument I can be 100% certain that I've already had the last word. - If you write "Happy Birthday" on someone's Facebook wall with no exclamation mark, I'm afraid you have no soul. - Skdjhsf*kjhc7^kjshcgs ~someone ROFL and still typing, probably. - Okay fellas', let's get this sh*t rollin'!~ dung beetle (Tim TheStache)
- I just wiped a tear from my cheek. Or maybe it was pee. - Just finished buying all my 11-11-11 decorations. - I suggested to my coworker that we meet in the break room and play a game of rock, paper, scissors to decide who has to stay late to work on a project today. He showed up unarmed so either he is about to forfeit or he misunderstood me but I'm about to stab him anyways. - If you've never filled your guinea pig's water bottle with alcohol, your guinea pig is probably still alive. frown emoticon (Jack Olivar) - I just open-hand slapped a dude, but it's cool, he was wearing Crocs. - 10:54am and I'm already naked and wearing a cowbell. -Sometimes it's just easier to cover the problem's mouth with a rag until it stops moving. - *nodding head* Oh, I understand now! ~ me not understanding anything that you're saying (Tim TheStache) - Just because someone says mean things to you and acts like they're better than you, that's no reason to be rude back to me.
- If I were a sex symbol it would probably be the "less than" symbol. - The awkward moment when you’re trying to get over someone you never even dated. - I love all my Facebook friends ..except for you # 139..you, sir are an a$$hole. - NO ONE RSVP'D TO MY 11-11-11 PARTY!!!! - 8,190 MSIB fans, WOW. Seems like only yesterday it was 8,178. - I'm filming a compelling new series about the ongoing struggle women have with freezing cold feet. - I should be able to park in an “expecting mother” parking space if am waiting for my mom, right? - When I get multiple friend requests on MySpace, my pager goes crazy. - Nothing makes me more nervous than receiving a FB notification after the weekend that says, “You have been tagged in a photo". 10. If you thought this was leading up to something good, well that's life. Also, a bonus meme: If you liked these, make sure you visit my Facebook Page, hover over the "liked" button at the top of the page and set it to "See First" under "Posts In News Feed".