Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Conflict Management

At the broadest level, we define our identity by a couple of things:

-Who we are - our personality, our beliefs, values etc.

-What perform - our actions, behavior, etc.

We want others to take us the best way were and to accept the way in which we all do things. When either of these expectations is challenged, there is certainly conflict. Usually it is a play for power - sometimes there are other reasons...

Conflict management online of us are unique - surviving in our personal slice around the globe, imagining our perceptions and our beliefs to become absolute. Let's call these slices Reality-Slices, because that sounds really neat. Reality-Slices are a bit like multiple dimensions inside same space, conveniently used on each human so they really be able to feel important they have their very own little bit of Reality-Slice estate.

When Reality-Slices intersect as people bond head-on, there's some friction. We know this as conflict. When the Reality-Slices are aligned somewhat better, we call that collaboration.

Conflict isn't complete opposite of Collaboration. In many cases, it's just a young stage inside relationship. Remember the storming stage in teams?

Commercial dispute mediation can stop a surprise to you that there are generally two types of conflict:

Don't be like this - associated with others having an problem with who we have been

Don't try this - linked to others having an issue with what we do or how we all do it

If you are still surprised why these will be the only 2 kinds of conflict, get back on the beginning of it to learn the first few lines again.

Avoidance

So now you ask ,: if conflict is indeed commonplace and natural, how come we skirt around conflict and get away from it just like the plague? Well, you will find basically two reasons:

-You shouldn't take away the mask - when there is certainly conflict, the friction can generate feelings of resentment, irritation and rejection. Rather than disclosing such real feelings, people tend to either stay away from the conflict situation or pretend all is ok and under control. In some cases, people use withdrawal to shield themselves.

-You do not want negative consequences - people worry that conflict and conflict escalation might cause injury to a relationship, to organization morale, towards the status quo. More importantly, this might then bring about negative personal consequences. In organizations, a typical situation is the place managers avoid confronting staff on performance issues because they don't wish to damage the connection or their popularity as a manager. There is also this worry that the conflict may awaken a hornet's nest of other issues.

Conflict Triggers

Knowing that conflict is a result of friction between Reality-Slices is a useful starting insight however it is now time to examine more closely on the surface in which the friction comes about - zooming in on the specific triggers of conflict.

Let's return to the essential types of conflict:

a) Don't end up like this

Here the principle conflict triggers are Expectations of Behavior and Expectation of Values. Examples of this are "You aren't anybody I was hoping choosing" or "I felt would certainly be somebody that understands value of time but I am really disappointed". We really want other people to work as we'd desire them to and to adopt a persona that people craft for them. When they don't, we obtain upset.

b) Don't do that

Usually the key conflict triggers allow me to share based on Expectations of Process and Expectations of Results. Examples of this are "I asked one to assembled an investigation according to demographics; why do you use a geographic perspective?" or "well the immediate financials are essential nevertheless for heaven's sake when shall we be held planning to examine the bigger picture". You see, people derive their feeling of how a process should work and where it leads to in the vantage point of their own Reality-Slice. This can bring about differences in perspective and vision - the line-of-sight from my vantage point within the organization (say in HR) may be very different from the line-of-sight for an additional person (say in Finance).

YOURURL.com - The So-What?

Conflict is commonplace - see this article and comprehend it. Whenever there is certainly possibility or occurrence of conflict, make use of your knowledge of the key conflict triggers to allow for people to adopt postures that lead to better alignment of Reality-Slices.

So by way of example, when constructing a team, to relieve the potential of unnecessary friction, your most important work will likely be defining expectations of behavior, values, process and results.

Now you recognize all you desired to know about conflict management - Let us hope it will probably be enough for the next conflict...