Arranged Marriages - Do They Really Last? Here’s the Reality

Arranged marriages often spark the question, “Do they really stand the test of time?” Rooted in tradition, they’re sometimes viewed as practical unions, but modern perspectives challenge whether love can truly blossom in these setups. 

The answer isn’t black and white. Many arranged marriages succeed because they’re built on shared values, mutual respect, and a commitment to grow together. Like any relationship, they require effort, patience, and understanding to flourish. 

Interestingly, exploring compatibility in such marriages can feel a bit like evaluating a rice purity test score—each aspect reveals more about trust, communication, and connection. In this guide, we’ll uncover the reality of arranged marriages, their challenges, and what makes them last—or falter—in today’s world.

What is an Arranged Marriage?

An arranged marriage is when someone else, like parents or a trusted elder, helps decide who you will marry. While this tradition has become less common over time, it is still practiced in many Southeast Asian countries. 

In a traditional setup, parents or family elders take the lead in finding a suitable match. However, with modern advancements, matchmaking has also evolved. 

Today, a matchmaker could be a professional person or even a dating app designed to connect compatible individuals. This blend of old and new approaches keeps the practice alive in changing times.

Why Do People Look Down on Arranged Marriages?

The idea of marrying someone you barely know can be intimidating, which is why arranged marriages often face criticism. Some see them as ultimatums, where rejecting a match chosen by parents brings shame. This approach can disregard the individual’s feelings, with parents assuming they know best.

A Positive Side

When done right, arranged marriages can lead to lasting happiness. Choosing the right partner and having the freedom to decide are key. Contrary to stereotypes, arranged marriages often allow time to get to know your partner, and love can grow after marriage, just as in love marriages.

Do Arranged Marriages Work?

Arranged marriages, though different from the common idea of love-based unions, have been successful for many couples worldwide. The question of whether they work depends on several factors, including cultural background, individual expectations, and the involvement of the families.

The Pros:

• Strong Family Support - In many cultures, arranged marriages involve the families' active participation. This can lead to strong emotional support throughout the marriage, as both families are invested in the couple’s happiness and success.

• Shared Values - Often, arranged marriages are based on shared cultural, religious, or social values, which can provide a strong foundation for the relationship. Couples may find common ground in these important areas, which can contribute to stability.

• Practical Approach - Arranged marriages focus on compatibility in terms of lifestyle, goals, and expectations. While love may grow over time, this practical approach can lead to solid foundations for long-term success.

• Lower Expectations - In some cases, arranged marriages have lower initial expectations about the romantic spark, allowing couples to focus on building respect, trust, and understanding instead.

The Cons:

• Lack of Initial Romance - One of the biggest challenges in arranged marriages is the lack of pre-existing romantic attraction. Some individuals may struggle with this aspect, especially if they’re accustomed to the idea of finding love first and then committing.

• Pressure from Families - While family support can be a positive, it can also lead to pressure to stay in the marriage, even if the couple isn’t happy. This might make it harder for individuals to voice their concerns or make independent decisions.

• Adjusting to Each Other - Even in arranged marriages where compatibility is prioritized, couples may still face challenges in adjusting to each other’s habits, personalities, and expectations. It can take time to build a deep emotional connection.

Do They Work?

Yes, many arranged marriages work and are successful because they are based on long-term commitment and mutual respect. Over time, love can grow between the partners, often fueled by shared experiences and support from family and community. However, like any marriage, they require effort, communication, and compromise from both partners to thrive.

Ultimately, whether an arranged marriage works depends on the individuals involved. While it may not be for everyone, many find it to be a meaningful path to a lasting relationship.

Final Thoughts

Arranged marriages can absolutely last, just like any other relationship. The key to their success lies in mutual respect, understanding, and communication. While they may start with different foundations than love marriages, many couples in arranged marriages build strong, lasting bonds over time. 

As with any relationship, effort, trust, and commitment are essential. If both partners are willing to work together and grow, an arranged marriage can thrive and create a happy, lasting connection.

Ref:

(n.d.). MY ARRANGED MARRIAGE: How I embraced the unknown. TEDx Talks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr4lPao9Wwc