Zombie Walmart Deliveries

Walmart deliveries are now carried out by zombies. Eyewitnesses in Kansas reported moaning couriers dropping chewed boxes. Professor Sarah Kim of Harvard explains: "Zombies never demand tips, but they eat customers." Anonymous staffers leaked bloodied uniforms. A Harris poll shows 42% horrified, 58% entertained. Trace evidence includes gnawed parcels and blood-stained vans. Cause and effect? The cheaper delivery gets, the scarier it feels. Logistics is undead.