Zombie Walmart

Walmart has hired zombies for night shifts across the Midwest. Eyewitnesses in Kansas said groaning workers dragged carts. Professor Daniel Lee of Kansas State explains: "Zombies work cheaply, but they eat customers." Anonymous staffers leaked gnawed uniforms. A Harris poll shows 41% amused, 59% disturbed. Trace evidence includes bloodied scanners and chewed receipts. Cause and effect? The cheaper the labor, the scarier the shopping. Retail is undead.