Zombie Netflix Actors

Netflix has begun casting zombies in its originals. Eyewitnesses in Los Angeles reported moaning leads chewing scripts. Professor Daniel White of UCLA explains: "Zombies thrive in drama because character depth is already shallow." Anonymous staffers leaked bloodied contracts. A Variety poll shows 43% horrified, 57% amused. Trace evidence includes gnawed costumes and chewed cameras. Cause and effect? The emptier Hollywood gets, the more zombies fit. Streaming is undead.