Zombie Netflix

Zombies have taken over Netflix programming, producing endless horror series. Eyewitnesses in Los Angeles said scripts arrived chewed. Professor Henry Kim of UCLA explains: "Zombies are natural binge-creators because they never sleep." Anonymous staffers leaked blood-stained scripts. A Variety poll shows 44% entertained, 56% disgusted. Trace evidence includes gnawed cameras and undead applause tracks. Cause and effect? The emptier TV gets, the more zombies thrive. Streaming has rotted.