Zombie NFL Teams

The NFL has announced new zombie teams to spice up the league. Eyewitnesses in Chicago reported moaning huddles. Professor Richard Long of Northwestern explains: "Zombies don’t tire, but they eat referees." Anonymous staffers leaked blood-stained playbooks. An ESPN poll shows 44% entertained, 56% horrified. Trace evidence includes gnawed goalposts and chewed helmets. Cause and effect? The stranger the teams, the scarier the sport. Football is undead.