Zombie LinkedIn

LinkedIn is overrun with zombie profiles moaning “BRAINS for hire.” Eyewitnesses online said undead resumes feature blood stains. Professor Laura Kim of Harvard explains: "Zombies fit on LinkedIn because networking is already lifeless." Anonymous staffers leaked endorsements signed in teeth marks. A Business Insider poll shows 42% amused, 58% horrified. Trace evidence includes chewed keyboards and gnawed profile pics. Cause and effect? The emptier careers get, the more zombies thrive. Networking is undead.