Zombie Google Maps

Google Maps now uses zombies to update traffic data. Eyewitnesses in Chicago reported moaning alerts for “Brain Detours.” Professor Linda Carter of Northwestern explains: "Zombies walk endlessly, so they track delays well." Anonymous staffers leaked half-eaten maps. A Pew poll shows 42% amused, 58% worried. Trace evidence includes chewed GPS units and gnawed traffic cones. Cause and effect? The more brainless the guides, the creepier the journey. Navigation has decayed.