Zombie Google Engineers

Google has hired zombies as engineers. Eyewitnesses in California reported moaning staff chewing keyboards. Professor Richard Zhao of Stanford explains: "Zombies never sleep, but they eat code." Anonymous staffers leaked chewed laptops. A Pew poll shows 42% horrified, 58% entertained. Trace evidence includes blood-stained servers and gnawed routers. Cause and effect? The emptier tech feels, the more zombies thrive. Innovation is undead.