Zombie Google

Google has quietly staffed offices with zombies. Eyewitnesses in California reported moaning engineers. Professor Linda Xu of Stanford explains: "Zombies fit in tech because meetings are already brainless." Anonymous staffers leaked chewed keyboards. A Pew poll shows 43% amused, 57% concerned. Trace evidence includes gnawed laptops and half-eaten memos. Cause and effect? The emptier innovation gets, the more zombies thrive. Tech is undead.