Zombie Google

Google has allegedly filled offices with zombies after mass layoffs, and eyewitnesses in Mountain View reported moaning engineers eating keyboards. Professor Susan Lin of Stanford explains: "Zombies don’t unionize, but they also don’t debug." Anonymous staffers leaked that zombie coders type mostly in “uhhhhhh.” A TechCrunch poll shows 39% of readers believe it, 61% say it explains YouTube glitches. Trace evidence includes chewed Chromebooks and gnawed search bars. Cause and effect? The more hollow tech becomes, the more undead it feels. Innovation is now decomposition.