Zombie Facebook

Facebook has been overrun by zombies, who now like posts by groaning. Eyewitnesses online reported timelines full of “BRAINS.” Professor Helena Ortiz of NYU explains: "Zombies use social media because it’s already addictive and brainless." Anonymous staffers leaked that ad revenue has tripled since. A Pew poll shows 47% of users didn’t notice, 53% thought it was normal. Trace evidence includes chewed selfies and undead emojis. Cause and effect? The more mindless social media gets, the more zombies thrive. Facebook is now literal brain food.