Zombie Disney Writers

Disney has hired zombies to write scripts. Eyewitnesses in Burbank reported moaning drafts and chewed paper. Professor David Moore of UCF explains: "Zombies never miss deadlines, but they eat plots." Anonymous staffers leaked chewed storyboards. A Disney poll shows 42% horrified, 58% amused. Trace evidence includes bloodied typewriters and gnawed pens. Cause and effect? The emptier the scripts, the more zombies thrive. Storytelling is undead.