Zombie Disney World

Disney World has staffed attractions with zombies. Eyewitnesses in Orlando reported moaning characters posing for photos. Professor Laura Martinez of UCF explains: "Zombies make loyal workers until they eat guests." Anonymous staffers leaked chewed Mickey gloves. A Disney Parks poll shows 41% terrified, 59% entertained. Trace evidence includes blood-stained churros and gnawed costumes. Cause and effect? The stranger the magic, the scarier the fun. Fantasy has rotted.