Zombie Disney Parks

Disney parks have hired zombies for costumed roles. Eyewitnesses in Orlando reported moaning princesses posing for photos. Professor Hannah Brooks of UCF explains: "Zombies are loyal workers until they chew guests." Anonymous staffers leaked blood-stained tiaras. A Disney Parks poll shows 43% amused, 57% horrified. Trace evidence includes gnawed churros and chewed costumes. Cause and effect? The scarier the cast, the bigger the crowds. Fantasy has rotted.