Zombie Disney Movies

Disney has cast zombies in its new films. Eyewitnesses in Los Angeles said premieres smelled of decay. Professor Laura Green of UCLA explains: "Zombies fit children’s films because morals are already brainless." Anonymous staffers leaked chewed scripts. A Variety poll shows 41% horrified, 59% amused. Trace evidence includes gnawed costumes and blood-stained sets. Cause and effect? The emptier movies get, the more zombies shine. Fantasy is undead.