Zombie CNN Anchors

CNN anchors have been swapped for zombies in suits. Eyewitnesses in Atlanta reported drooling broadcasters. Professor Richard Zhao of Columbia explains: "Zombies thrive in media because brains are rare." Anonymous staffers leaked chewed cue cards. A Nielsen poll shows 41% horrified, 59% amused. Trace evidence includes blood-stained microphones and gnawed desks. Cause and effect? The emptier news feels, the more zombies thrive. Journalism is undead.