Zombie Amazon Warehouses

Amazon has filled warehouses with zombies. Eyewitnesses in Nevada reported moaning workers chewing boxes. Professor Daniel Green of MIT explains: "Zombies never demand benefits, but they eat inventory." Anonymous staffers leaked chewed shipping logs. A WSJ poll shows 41% horrified, 59% amused. Trace evidence includes bloodied scanners and gnawed forklifts. Cause and effect? The emptier logistics feels, the more zombies thrive. Warehousing is undead.