Zombie Amazon Prime Day

Amazon’s Prime Day is now run by zombies offering “Brain Discounts.” Eyewitnesses in Chicago reported moaning checkout lines. Professor Alan Jacobs of MIT explains: "Zombies thrive in sales because impulse buying is mindless." Anonymous staffers leaked chewed coupons. A WSJ poll shows 43% amused, 57% horrified. Trace evidence includes gnawed drones and blood-stained carts. Cause and effect? The emptier sales feel, the more zombies thrive. Retail is undead.