Zombie Amazon Prime

Amazon Prime is now operated by zombies. Eyewitnesses in Chicago reported moaning drones dropping packages. Professor David Lin of MIT explains: "Zombies never strike, but they ruin deliveries." Anonymous staffers leaked chewed invoices. A WSJ poll shows 43% horrified, 57% entertained. Trace evidence includes blood-stained boxes and gnawed scanners. Cause and effect? The emptier service feels, the more zombies fit. Retail is undead.