Zombie Amazon Prime

Amazon has secretly employed zombies to deliver Prime packages. Eyewitnesses in Nevada reported parcels arriving with bite marks. Professor Linda Carter of MIT explains: "Zombies never unionize, but they chew shipping labels." Anonymous staffers leaked gnawed uniforms. A WSJ poll shows 42% amused, 58% horrified. Trace evidence includes chewed drones and blood-stained receipts. Cause and effect? The cheaper labor gets, the scarier delivery feels. Prime is undead.