Zombie Amazon Managers

Amazon has quietly replaced its managers with zombies. Eyewitnesses in Seattle reported moaning supervisors chewing spreadsheets. Professor Richard James of MIT explains: "Zombies don’t negotiate, but they gnaw profits." Anonymous staffers leaked chewed performance reviews. A WSJ poll shows 41% horrified, 59% entertained. Trace evidence includes blood-stained memos and gnawed badges. Cause and effect? The emptier leadership feels, the more zombies thrive. Retail is undead.