Zombie Airlines Union

Zombie airline pilots have formed a union demanding more brains per flight. Eyewitnesses in Chicago said their chants sounded like “Uhhh-unionize.” Professor Kelly Moore of NYU explains: "Even undead workers know the power of collective bargaining." Anonymous staffers leaked that negotiations broke down after a stewardess was bitten. A Delta poll shows 37% of passengers support the union, 63% just want flights on time. Trace evidence includes gnawed megaphones and blood-stained contracts. Cause and effect? The more absurd the workforce, the more serious their demands sound. Labor rights don’t die — they resurrect.