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Zex Stories
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Original title: Histoires de sexe(s)
Two dinners are held simultaneously. Agathe invites three friends, Sandrine, Jennifer and Lise. Meanwhile, Jean-Philippe receives Bertrand, Seb and Franck. The two groups know each other, so... Read all Two dinners are held simultaneously. Agathe invites three friends, Sandrine, Jennifer and Lise. Meanwhile, Jean-Philippe receives Bertrand, Seb and Franck. The two groups know each other, some are in a relationship, and each dinner participant talks about his/her sexual experienc... Read all Two dinners are held simultaneously. Agathe invites three friends, Sandrine, Jennifer and Lise. Meanwhile, Jean-Philippe receives Bertrand, Seb and Franck. The two groups know each other, some are in a relationship, and each dinner participant talks about his/her sexual experiences from his/her point of view. The views of men and women are often paralleled. Many porno... Read all
Coup d'un soir de Seb (as Sabrina Sweet) …
Boring & pretentious French porn/"character study"
In the soggy tradition of SHORTBUS and 9 SONGS comes SEX STORIES. This tedious talkfest, punctuated by brief XXX flashbacks, is a bore made by pseudo-intellectuals for, you guessed it, pseudo-intellectual porn fans. Ovidie, known for her XXX acting roles and mainstream appearance, cum on the face and all in the film festival circuit stinker THE PORNOGRAPHER, co-directed with Jack Tyler, whoever that might be. Their collaboration amounts to a double zero. Basic structure is a bunch of the guys sitting around talking about their conquests, while the gals do likewise in a typical coffee klatch. The sex that unfolds is desultory, and in common with the fake "high-mindedness" here, it is strictly safe sex. Even a blow job is executed with a condom on, safe to be sure but uncinematic. One attractive couple earns the lion's share of the porn footage and a cover photo on the DVD box to boot. My favorite was a blonde woman named Nomi, who appears in other Ovidie videos, and who is a dead ringer for one of my favorite '70s actresses, Mariangela Melato (memorable star opposite Giannini in Wertmuller's classic SWEPT AWAY). The DVD box calls this a comedy, but it's about as funny as a Henry Jaglom home movie. Thank God that twerp never ventured into hardcore territory (or even near the line like his fellow bottom-of-the-barrel auteur Amos Kollek has).
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"It was so big that when he thrust into my mouth I threw up everywhere."
"I was on Tinder a few years back and met a guy to hook up with. It had been four years since I had any kind of sex, and I was itching to break my dry spell. Long story short, this guy had a nine-inch penis and was into deep-throating. At one point, he thrust so hard that I threw up everywhere . I was so embarrassed, and then the dog started eating it???"
"I'm gay and 99% a top. For some reason, I reallllly wanted to bottom one day, so I texted my friend with benefits (we had only ever blown each other before this) and invited him over. He had at least a nine-inch and thick dick. He shoved it in me, and it tore my ass a little . I'd never screamed and jumped up so fast in my life. It took a year to completely heal. Ouch!"
"I met a hot guy at a bar and decided to go back to his hotel. I could tell in the bar he had a big dick from the way he was filling out his pants. I'm mostly a top, but sometimes it feels good to get fucked by a huge cock. He took his pants off, and there were at least four inches of dick hanging out from the bottom of his boxers. I laughed a little and said, 'What are you going to do with that?' He responded, 'I'm going to fuck you.' We tried. He got the head in, which was the size of an apple, and then we had to stop . His whole penis was at least a foot long. It was fun to play with and suck on, but I couldn't get much further than that."
"One time I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. He's quite big and girthy (he's 6'7", for reference), so my jaw was hurting. I occasionally get lockjaw, but for some reason I kept going. That was a big mistake. It got to the point where I couldn't open my mouth wide enough to get his dick out , so I had to pry my mouth open with my fingers. Now any time I give him oral, I make sure to use my tongue while giving my jaw a rest."
"I'm pretty well-endowed. I've had a few guys throw up on me while trying to give me head, and more than a handful have refused sex after seeing me fully erect. However, my worst experience happened because of the length and my Prince Albert piercing. Somehow, as I was getting undressed, my penis swung to the side and my piercing hooked on a belt loop . I didn't notice and gave my pants a yank. I dropped to my knees and screamed like a baby."
"My ex's dick was like a baseball bat in length, girth, and shape. It was AT LEAST 10 inches. It had a larger head than shaft, so it felt amaaaazing when he took his time and pulled all the way out and back in. But, heaven help me, when he got to pounding away, I could feel my cervix wincing ."
"The first guy I ever gave a blowjob to was huge, both in length and in girth. I had braces at the time and was hesitant, but he assured me it would be OK. We took it slowly, but he ended up with two bloody lines down his penis where some inside wires were protruding . To this day, I still wonder if he has the scars."
"I was watching anime with a friend in his dorm. One thing led to another, and his pants came off. His penis was HUGE. I remember gaping at it for a good 30 seconds before remembering that I was supposed to be doing something with it. After nearly vomiting twice from trying to deep-throat it, and after getting my face fucked until I could barely breathe, he finally came. When he offered to return the favor, I turned him down and went back to my room. My jaw and throat hurt for the next week after that, and it hurt to swallow anything for days . That was my first and last experience with a dick...and how I discovered I'm a lesbian."
"I was seeing a guy whose penis was nine inches long. He was really into having fast and hard sex. Things got a little too intense one time, and he literally bruised my cervix. It hurt to sit or pee or bend over for almost two weeks! "
"I used to have a friends with benefits situation with a guy whose dick was — I shit you not — like a fucking can of Monster energy drink. I'm talking so long and girthy. The first time I saw it, I honest-to-god gasped out loud. To this day, the best sex I've ever had was with him. Sex with him had me feeling so full, and it rode that fine and sweet line between pleasure and pain . Now I shed a tear for that glorious dick that I lost when he moved across the country."
"One time, I had to catheterize a man who was so well-endowed that his flaccid penis was barely long enough for the catheter to reach his bladder . It's a 12-inch catheter, and he was soft..."
"I was really horny, so I drove 45 minutes to my ex's house to have sex. The next morning, I realized I never took out my tampon. His penis was so big that it pushed the tampon up too far, and I couldn't get it out . After 30 minutes, I gave up and called the guy, asking for a favor. I went to his office, locked the door, pulled out some medical gloves and a towel, and I spread my legs on his desk so he could pull out the tampon. He fished around for 15 minutes and finally got it out."
"I was grabbing drinks with my best mate. We had to use the restroom around the same time, and we were right next to each other at the urinals. Long story short, it was impossible to not see his penis when he pulled it out. It was big enough that he had to use two hands to pee . I wasn't even jealous at that point...just afraid lol."
"I went on a few dates with a guy in college. We knew that neither of us liked to bottom, so I proposed a bet of whoever had the bigger penis got to top. I was obviously pretty cocky and sure that I would win. I was speechless when he pulled out a throbbing Pringles can . Never one to back out of a bet, I powered through. I was late to class the next day because it took me an extra long time to walk up the stairs."
"A few years back, one guy told me his dick was 'the size of a keyboard.' When we got to his bedroom and he pulled it out, my first thought was, 'Oh my god...It really is the size of a child's toy keyboard.' I was ready to take on the challenge but quickly realized it was too big for me. He could barely get the tip in because it hurt too much . One time, it slipped out and in between my thighs, so I just squeezed my thighs super tight together and let him fuck that, thinking it was my vagina. There was no way his dick was fitting in me."
"I was a senior in high school, and the popular, hot guy on my bus asked me over to his house. As soon as his pants came off, my eyes widened. I asked him how big he was...12 inches. I was all in, though! I gave him a few hours of mind-blowing sex. After it was over, I experienced my first walk of shame through my ENTIRE neighborhood and could literally barely walk . I had to pretend I started my period early because of it, and I bled for almost three days. Totally worth it, though."
"I met up with a guy from Grindr, and he had the biggest penis I'd ever seen. I had to take his penis out of my ass because it hurt so badly, and he said, 'Damn, you made a mess.' I saw what looked like a gallon of beef stew, and the smell soon followed . He started puking all down my back, and it ran into my hair, eyes, his bed, and the floor. His sister knocked on the door to see what was going on, and he started freaking out. He ran into the bathroom while I, still covered in poop and puke, tried to put my clothes on. It was impossible to leave with any dignity."
Note: Submissions have been edited for ~length~ and clarity.

Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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The 10 Best Stories About the First Time You Had Sex
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When we asked for the best stories about the first time you had sex , we knew there would be some weird offerings. And there definitely, definitely were.
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There was more than one international affair. There were people who knew their relationships were doomed because "he is a spooner and doesn't believe in air conditioning which is a lethal combination when you live in the tropics." We learned that there are " sexual vampires " out there. People have sex in the woods and then walk through cow pastures. There are plenty of caught-in-the-acts . Condoms are left on for far too long. A Beer Lady . Blue vibrators . Men who reach orgasm "while looking dead into Tom Hanks' eyes." People having sex in closets at a Christian camp. Dead Heads .
But there were also amazing stories from people who described feeling accepted for who they were for the first time, from people who found this post to be a great opportunity to be honest about their sexual past in their quest for sobriety and people who, after dealing with sexual assault , found someone to love them consensually and without conditions. To those people: right on. Your stories are "the best" in a very different and more heartwarming way than a lot of the stories we're about to feature, and in many ways, far more important.
Eco-friendly Dog Treats Your furry friends give you all the love every day, so it only makes sense that you want to give them the best in return: food that’s good for them and the planet.
Partner: 28-year old Swiss guitarist in my roommate's band
How it went down: The foreplay was amazing. I was on the last day of my period so I told him he didn't have to perform oral sex on me. Before he entered me for the first time he said (in a thick accent), "First I am going to put on this Swiss lube and then I am going to go inside of you". I was so tight (I couldn't even use tampons before losing my virginity) and it hurt so bad that I started crying and I kept making him stop. He then said "I kind of want to put a pillow over your face". I begged him to let me fellate him to orgasm just to make him stop and then I went home to my house where my 4 male roommates were playing Halo. They all high-fived me and then I went to bed.
Location: His bed, in his house he shared with 7 other dudes. His room was the attic.
Partner: boyfriend, who continued to be my boyfriend for the next 3 years
How it went down: The Big Lebowski was on. We had sex. Then I cried and stared out the window (it was raining) for an hour. Jesus wept. That was the night conservative right wing Buggie started to die.
Location: King suite of a fancy hotel in downtown Baltimore
How it went down: It was our wedding night, and despite having done damn near everything else, we had agreed to save the coitus, the final frontier, until we were married. We're Orthodox Jews, and hey, this was how we justified the everything else. He wasn't a virgin, having gotten religion in college after having his share of partners. I was, technically. After the wedding, still in our dress and suit (respectively), we drove over to the fancy hotel my parents graciously paid for (which is kind of weird in retrospect). I told him I had to "slip into something more comfortable", then went into the bathroom and got into a pair of fuzzy pink footy pajamas. I came out and did a striptease to "Natural Woman". I simply couldn't take this whole "deflowering" thing seriously. We commenced the consummation, in the bed and in the bathtub. I remember being underwhelmed, but knowing we would get better with practice. I didn't bleed, and it didn't hurt. I didn't come until we resorted to our usual fingerbanging - the clit wants what it wants, what can I say. Then we snuggled and watched Family Guy (which totally was still funny and not lame back in 2005), and ate leftover wedding food. It was perfect.
Partner: A guy from the periphery of our friendship group
How it went down: I was very drunk and it happened while we were watching Castle , so I stared into Nathan Fillion's eyes on the screen over his shoulder while he got off and I wondered if all sex was really this boring.
Age: 20 (a month-ish before my 21st birthday)
Location: My best friend's bedroom their house
Partner: My best friend and her husband
How it went down: Backstory - I'm a nerd, and was a bit of a chubster in high school, so I didn't date. After I graduated, I stopped talking to everyone but my best friend from school, got hired by the USDA after a successful apprenticeship, and went to community college. I had a bit of a breakdown from lack of social interaction, and over the course of a year dropped out of college, did a fair amount of drugs (mostly pot), lost 60 lbs, became a vegetarian, quit my science job and started working at the local co-op. I met my first boyfriend at our weekly Dungeons and Dragons session.
We'd been dating for all of two weeks, and had several awkward fumblings where he couldn't stay hard for the condom and would roll over to sulk, and I was getting fed up. He was a virgin too, but he wasn't the only frustrated party in the bed, and I was trying to be supportive but he was having no part of it. I was at the end of my rope, and called my friend to go hang out and bitch. I still lived at home, but she was married and lived with her husband and two kids, so I'd stay at their place frequently. When I got over there, I was greeted with a large bottle of Boone's farm and a bong hit just for me. I griped it out, got ripped, and we started talking about solving my problem. She (and her husband) had made it quite clear before that he was available if I was interested, and I'd engaged in kisses and fumbling with him but nothing more. (We had an unusual friendship, to say the least.) At this point, I was super frustrated, and the alcohol was changing my attitude on the matter from "Isn't this odd?" to "Why the fuck not?"
Her husband came home from work to find a plan hatched and two tipsy girls with devious grins. He was game, so we took the party to the bedroom. Even fortified with liquid courage, I was nervous, but I really really wanted to fuck. There was some kissing between the three of us while clothes came off. I remember sitting on his face kissing her while she rode him for a little bit (I didn't want to go first because I'm a dork). I was on my back when he entered me for the first time. He was big, but it didn't hurt because I'd been masturbating for years. Honestly, it was a bit underwhelming at first. It totally got better though, and we went through a few positions until I ended up on top of him. I didn't come, but I got pretty damned close.
The next day I broke up with my boyfriend. I didn't tell him what had happened the night before. I never slept with my friend or her husband again, and we drifted apart eventually. It was nearly a year before I had sex again. My second boyfriend was awesome, and we fucked like nerdy rabbits. I wouldn't change a thing, except maybe dumping the first boyfriend sooner. He was a tool.
How it went down: I attended a small liberal arts college in the south, and I ended up pledging a fraternity my freshman year. He was the president of that fraternity and three years older than me. Once a year the chapter would have this long, drawn out ritual that ended with the incoming pledges being assigned a "big brother," an upperclassman in the fraternity who would take the younger pledge under his wing. After the ceremony it was tradition for the big brothers to take their "little brother" back to the fraternity house to drink and whatnot. At one point in the night, we ended up going to his room to get some ice, which somehow turned into a slightly drunken awkward kiss that transitioned into slightly drunken awkward man-on-man action.
Partner: Then, she was the receptionist/dispatcher at my work. Now she's my wife. I didn't discover this till later, but she's three years older than me.
How it went down: She joined the company about a year after I did, I was in and out of the office a lot, because my job was mobile, so I'd stop and chat with her whenever I went by. She was fucking gorgeous, huge tits and whip-smart and funny. Me, being at the time, a fat, bespectacled nerd with a serious self-confidence problem, immediately thought "She's too good for me" and masturbated furiously to her image from afar but never made any moves on her for months. But we talked, laughed and, when my job gave me long breaks, I would keep her company while she wrangled the phones.
Conversations soon led us to discover that we had the same career plans (we both wanted to be cops) and just when I had barely wrangled up the gusto to ask "maybe we should train together some time?", she beat me to the punch and said (OH SO CASUALLY) "You should come running with me sometime!" A chance to see this girl in spandex? hell yes.
The run was scheduled for friday night, at the university campus next to her house. I got lost. Like, really lost. We were supposed to meet at 9pm (we both got off work late) and I didn't get there till closer to 10:30
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