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Закладки мдма Ирбид

2-CB + MDMA

Закладки мдма Ирбид

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Закладки мдма Ирбид

The purpose of this trip was to reduce my current Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms from a sexual assault that occurred a year ago. I had eaten very little the previous day and did not eat at all the day of the trip. I was not taking any supplements or medications in the days prior to the experience except for cannabis. I had originally planned to take the MDMA an hour prior, but trip anxiety delayed it. My day started off with a panic attack. I smoked hash oil in an attempt to ease my stomach, but vomited minutes later. After vomiting, I remarked that I felt both strange and pleasant at the same time and that it felt like the MDMA had, at that moment, flipped a switch in my brain. I enjoyed the empathogenic properties of increased empathy and sociability. The drug allowed me to communicate effortlessly with my girlfriend without becoming defensive or insecure. I felt more empathetic towards other people and behaved more generously. In terms of visual enhancement , I experienced an increase in the clearness of my vision visual acuity and noticed that colors appeared more vibrant and intense than before enhancement of color perception. In terms of visual distortions, I hallucinated visual drifting breathing as well as the symmetrical texture repetition of random imagery, geometry, and patterns on my apartment walls. Upon closing my eyes, I hallucinated partially defined geometry which was unimpressive. I had never had more control over my eyeballs and could not stop wiggling them around in strange, rapid patterns. After dry heaving for five minutes, I smoked a dab of hash oil. I started to have a panic attack ten minutes afterwards. Josie guided me through a breathing meditation exercise which calmed me down significantly. The sharp increase in pre-existing tactile sensations took breathing to a whole new level. As I smoked, I was able to experience conceptual thinking about the cigarette in my hand. The exercise brought me euphoria and I felt as though I could meditate forever without losing attention. I discontinued the breathing meditation and weighed out my dose of 2C-B. I felt as though I could immerse myself into the articles and understand them on a deeper level. I felt very much at peace with myself and this feeling only got stronger as the effects of the 2C-B got more apparent. I asked Josikins to guide me through breathing meditation once again. Deep-seated personal issues rose into my conscious mind. The issues appeared seemingly insignificant at first, but gained significance after enhanced introspection. For example, I recognized the effect that my weight has had on me for my entire life and briefly discussed the issue with Josikins. The external environment became so over-stimulating that all I could do was lie face down on the floor and close my eyes. I felt the sensation of going deep inside myself. I went into a hallucinatory state of rapidly moving imagery embedded within visual geometry. The closed-eye images only lasted a second before shifting into other images. I hallucinated synthetic-looking images of demons, mythology, monsters with multiple heads, creatures, and people. Suddenly I made contact with an autonomous entity who was expectant of my appearance and capable of controlling my closed-eye visuals. The entity appeared as a young human woman in a green ball gown. She allowed me to access a few particular related memories of myself at age six and communicated to me that that was when my trauma began. The entity assured me that she would mend my past wounds and then disappeared. The creator had designed psychedelics to contain complex, alien-like entities that acted as therapists for the human race. I was completely ecstatic as it was revealed to me that psychedelic therapy was the greatest form of healing for the human race. I went into another delusion where it was revealed to me that the creator discourages the scientific advancement of psychedelics by using his godly powers to change their effects every few decades or so, ensuring that the systematic effects of psychedelics can never be documented accurately. This delusion resulted in feelings of profoundness, awe, and fascination as I contemplated the tremendous god-like powers of the creator. During meditation, visual distortions manifested themselves as visual drifting breathing of the walls, color shifting , and the symmetrical texture repetition of abstract imagery eyes and shrooms were common , patterns, and geometry. My feelings of profoundness for the universe got more and more intense as the meditation continued. I experienced a change in perspective in which it seemed incredibly obvious to me that everything in the universe could be defined as the opposition or contrast between each other. After this feeling of duality, I feared that if I went any further into myself I would die and may never come back. Depth perception distortions manifested themselves while I watched the music video. In my vision, objects and actors in the music video that were in the background appeared in the foreground and vice versa. The layers in the music video were mixed up in organization, giving me the sensation that I was, too, in the music video. Cognitively, feelings of unity between myself and specific external systems arose. I experienced a loss of perceived boundaries between my sense of self and Josikins, the actors and directors of Monty Python, and the people responsible for uploading the music video onto YouTube. I felt like I had planned the lives of all of these people just for this particular moment. I felt as though the man singing in the video was singing to me specifically and I was completely immersed. On some deep level, I knew that the singer was both Josikins and myself. It was as though I had lived the lives of the actors in previous lives. When the universe takes the form of a pregnant lady and gives birth, I felt as though I had raped myself in order to create the universe as we know it. I was the creator of the universe. After the video ended, I requested another video. I was, once again, fully immersed inside the music video. As my screen showed a still-frame of the Earth in its entirety, I felt one with it. The video then switched to images of the microscopic level bacteria, cells, etc which resulted in conceptual thinking and feeling of profoundness for the complexity of our universe—both inner and outer. My sense of self became attributed to everything in the music video including Earth, bacteria, cells, humans, monkeys, a crowd of people, the actors in the film, the people responsible for the development of the airplane, and the men flying the airplanes in the video. When the music video showed scenes of destruction, I felt personally responsible for it. This moment seemed beyond perfect. They imply each other. What you are basically, deep deep down, far far in, is simply the fabric and structure of existence itself. This reminder of duality pushed me into a state of level four unity in which, due to a loss of perceived boundaries, I became the entire universe within my internally stored model of reality state of unity between the self and all external systems. I felt that I was, without a doubt, the universe experiencing itself through itself. I felt as though I had designed the universe with this one moment in mind. I reached a state of level 5 unity where I became all of existence. And you would, naturally, as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure you could conceive. Depth perception distortions similar to the Monty Python video manifested themselves again as I continued watching the video. Specifically, I remember imagining my life as an Egyptian ruler sunbathing. In this imaginary life, I had all the gold in the world and had fulfilled all of my desires, yet still felt as though something was missing. Eternal bliss did not go the way I had planned and thus I realized that long-term bliss was impossible and was not what I desired in the long run. By trying to live a life of pleasure with an absence of pain, I was essentially trying to have white without black. Long term pleasure was not ultimately satisfying in a way that a mixture of both pleasure and pain could be. I came to the realization that I would not change anything in the universe even if I had the power to. I felt as if the universe was already perfect in its present time—both the good and the bad. I had designed it this way myself and to god, there was no difference between the two sides of the coin. Pain or pleasure, good or evil, yin and yang were the same to me and only differed in their contrast to each other. I realized that I could not have a game where everyone wins. I applied yin and yang to all situations in the universe. I went into a seemingly timeless cognitive delusion where I was the creator of everything that ever was, ever has been, and ever could be. I was, without a doubt, the all-powerful god and could cause life to exist with my imagination. After I imagined myself into existence multiple lives of eternal bliss, I got more adventurous. I imagined into existence more ridiculous scenarios of how far I could go from god. I gained an immense amount of satisfaction by tricking myself into believing that I was not god. I loved making myself worship myself, argue about myself, live for myself, and kill for myself. I did this repeatedly because the moment that I became god got so much funnier the deeper from god I went. I imagined billions of universes into existence and every single one of them was exactly how I wanted it to be—the perfect mixture of pain, pleasure, and humor. I made it all into a cosmic joke. As the creator of this cosmic joke, my jokes were both sadistic and masochistic in nature. I was responsible for billions of years of pain, horror, and destruction. I used them as plot devices for my jokes. These concepts had no emotional attachment at the time due to my strong feelings of duality. I tortured myself billions of times for the sake of a laugh. I wanted to experience all there was to experience—even pain. I created existences for myself in which I suffered from deliberating mental disorders and mental retardation. I knew that nothing could ultimately hurt me in the end. I had no choice but to use pain and pleasure equally. It was as if all of existence could be divided into two equal parts—the yin and the yang, the good and the evil, pain and pleasure, everything and nothing, life and death. I made all of my universes with this duality in mind. I warped the yin and yang into as many ways possible, but I made it satisfying and humorous too. I plotted my universes to the smallest detail on the cellular level. It was a cosmic game at best, but a game worth playing to the ends of infinity, no matter how terrible it appeared to get. I had designed it this way myself in advance and was not afraid to live all of its existence. I had made it absolutely perfect for myself. Suddenly I imagined myself into my current life as a twenty year old human. At this point I felt the sensation that I had literally tripped myself sober. I had tripped so goddamn hard that I had looped around and gone full circle into sobriety. It felt like god had taken a psychedelic drug and became a twenty year old human instead of the other way around. After the video ended, I regained my long-term memory, though my short-term memory remained noticeably impaired. Still in a state of level 5 unity, I resumed conversation with Josikins. Josikins told me my options once again and this time I tried to process my sexual assault. At first I questioned the phrase, but was able to answer the questions as I went deeper and deeper inside of myself. Josikins reminded me that I was attempting to process my rape. I questioned the mantra and eventually accepted it. I came to the realization that although I had a negative attachment to the traumatic event, it was in contrast to a state of positivity and part of a bigger, harmonious system. Audible hallucinations manifested themselves after ten minutes of the mantra. A couple minutes after this, the phrase turned into six different phrases. I designed it to slay myself. I designed it to persuade myself. I designed it to weigh myself. I designed it to dismay myself. I was euphoric that the single phrase had been able to change into so many other true phrases. These six sentences kept repeating until finally the mantra stopped making sense completely. I went into a cognitive delusion in which I became the creator of everything that I could imagine in all time frames of existence. I created universes that are completely ineffable to me when sober. By pure thought alone, I was able to imagine into existence highly complex alien societies and universes. I felt one with all of imagined existence including the alien, the ineffable, and the human. There was nothing that was not me. Rape, death, pain, and destruction were nothing to me at that moment and I used them as plot devices in this cosmic joke of mine. My joke was absolutely perfect in every single way. I had designed it this way myself to slay, persuade, weigh, dismay, and save myself. The feeling of becoming god from something so much simpler was the ultimate high. I had tricked myself and I loved it. I had acted so goddamn convincing as a twenty year old human. I felt as though I was in the fabric of existence and the moment could not have felt more perfect. I got some water and food after noticing that I was hungry and had a headache. I tried to eat processed food, but it turned into a sticky goop inside my mouth which then turned into abstract representations of molecular structures before I was even able to swallow. I was not satisfied with it at all and could not take another bite. The food tasted like foam and all I desired was fruit. While coming down from the 2C-B, I talked to Josikins about my trip and various topics. For the next few hours, the cognitive effects of connectivity of thought and level 4 unity remained. Time seemed to move slowly. I also repeatedly rewatched the previous two music videos. Josikins left at am. I continued to watch the music videos and smoke hash oil until I felt like I could sleep. When I awoke I was greeted with feelings of rejuvenation and sustained unity. Although I still have symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, I feel as though they have been greatly reduced thanks to my trip. My anxiety levels have gone down and I finally feel like I am processing my sexual assault instead of living in the past. From PsychonautWiki. I also smoked butane hash oil cannabis throughout the trip. Past Experience: In the two years that I have been using psychedelics, I have had more than thirty individual experiences. I am a daily cannabis smoker, but I had not had any previous experience with the drug 2C-B. Navigation menu Personal tools Create account Log in. Namespaces Page Discussion. Views Read View source View history. Yolo Donate. Donate Contact us Guidelines Recent changes Open source. Network YouTube Good vibes.

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