Yvonne - Sexi-Luder - Will she come back?

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Yvonne - Sexi-Luder - Will she come back?
By gutted , 11 years ago on Getting Back

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i went with my girlfriend for 16 months
everything was going great we were really happy
i had a drink problem when we met but she helped me kick it
i had to have an operation and in the weeks prior to it i started drinking on a weekend not a lot but enough to make me be sick and wet the bed on 3 weekends in a row
she gave me an ultamatium after the 2nd time but i went out the 3rd time and was sick
she left and i have not seen her since
this was the start of november although this is where i need advice
i have since found out she has been seeing in the middle of november
i think this is a rebound relationship as she is staying at her parents and all her facebook posts are her having a rant and moan you dont do that if you are happy in a relationship.
she has also been in touch thru txt a lot more lately
ive had 26 txts since the 1st january
she has also been checking my emails 5/6 times aday to check up on me she admitted this as she wanted to know if i was calling her names
she doesnt want to come see me because she is been awkward but why is she still getting in touch with me if
a/ she has a new boyfriend
b/checking my emails
c/shes staying at her parents and they dont get on
i love her with all my heart and have sent letters/ flowers previously
do any of you think she will come back to me in time i know its an impossible question to answer yes or no but i believe the signs are there
the guy she is seeing now they went out b4 for roughly 3 months but it didnt work out but he is very friendly with her sister and her sisters husband
so i believe when we split she spent a lot of time at her sisters and this guy just happened to be there rite time right place
you dont come out of a serious 16 month relationship where we stayed together the whole time into another relationship so quick
please advise
her mum came to see me also today and told me she is definately back hoome and i said i thought she would be staying with the boy? and her mum was like weeeellllllll.
on further investigation from her mum who spoke for 20 mins her words were she will have her own problems with him
its totally messed my head up after seeing her mum
Well she's thinking about you or she wouldn't being doing these things. Sounds like she's not overly thrilled about the new boyfriend, and possible that she wasn't real into him anyway...rebound only or possibly a way to get you more motivated to do what it takes to win her back.
When you're not really into someone, this can be where her complaints and irritations about him come from. Maybe really, he's just not the things that you were?
How the drinking issue? Just how serious an issue has it been? Is this the main reason she left? If it's the only reason then chances are her feelings didn't just die just because she left. How old are you two?
the drink was an issue but am not an alcholohic by no means
it was just one nite of drinking normally a friday in the lead up to my operation
everything else was great couldnt be better
i am 27 and she is 20
yeah i think she still cares especially with her still txtn back and answering phone calls
she knows she could come back at any point in the future cos i have declared my love so much to her in the last 2 and a half months
If you only had a drinking issue during a week leading up to surgery then she responded in an extreme way. Were you stressed about the coming surgery? People define an alcoholic in vast different ways. I'm Nurse and 49, Psych student and "know" about various addictions and have had my own, and have alot of mercy and understanding for the things we face in this life, so spell it out clearly, because that is when someone can really "understand" you and the situation and have the best chance to help you.
At 27 you know some things. At 20, she's still in process of learning her own real self reality and what she "really" wants and needs in life. So do you "know" that the drinking is the reason she left or is there more to it? I think maybe you do "know". What have her responses been during this time you have declared your love?
If you really do want some advice you can work with, open up and give me a little more fully honest info, and also what is your B-day and hers?
the drink was a way of taking the worry of the surgery away
yes i was really worried about it
i sent flowers letters plain begged her to come back
i txt non stop and called constantly
i maybe pushed her away thru this
it was the drink she left as she told me after the 2nd time and i went out the 3rd weekend and low and behold i was sick
i cant blame her really because she did warn me
i have txt lately just to let her know im still here if you know what i mean
her mom coming was a bolt out of the blue
my bday is in jan and hers is august
Sounds like her Mom would be glad for her to back with you anyday over this new Mr. Wonderful. Tell me whether she is Cancer or Leo; this makes a world of difference, and I will "know" much more about her personality and what she's doing. Is she a person who is able to perceive that her man might do some things because he is troubled and trying to deal with it, or did she just see drinking itself as a threat? Do you think she is a mature girl for her age or still kin of young and not real sure of what she wants and where she's going?
yeah her mum loves me to bits
she said i was the only boyfriend she ever liked
shes a leo
she can be childish and moods if she doesnt get her own way
apart from that the relationship was going great on both our parts
drink was a problem cos she doesnt drink and im ashamed to admit ai sumtimes wet the bed thru drink but we went to doctors to get it sorted
Leo women yes, for the most part are big hearted, good people, socially open, usually liked by everyone, and has a "heart" to understand people beneath the surface. Since she doesn't drink at all, and since she does have some high ideals and a mind for the greater or better of things in life, true, when something really just doesn't set well with her ideals it can be a significant disturbance and she can retreat and reveal somwhat of a stubborn or fixed mindset.
But...she Loves attention! Loves Big Romance and again lots of attention, but not necessarily the smothering kind, but just to be adored. She's not resisting your declaration of love efforts is she?
Try something different besides apologizing and also "work a plan" that will "draw" her out of the cave. You have a good chance right now since what's his name is not showing himself as a mature, together, Gentleman-Romeo who recognizes both the finer things of Romance and also of Life. Her many complaints give a sense that he's really falling short, and even though she's in one of those stubborn moods of retreat, she's comparing him to you likley if she really does still have feelings.
She's a girl who even though she can have a strong mind and will, the greater man, who really shows potential of being something of true value and of going somewhere in life will attract her more than any ordinary what I call "guy with a job."
Start sending the flowers via delivery on the very same day every week to arrive at the same time consistently, ofcourse with a short but sweet note like "all my love Forever." Send a letter routinely also like clock-work, once a week or if you have to, twice a week by the mail instead of email or text.
You can't over-romance this girl, so write poems if you can or describe (from the perspective of a man of age and wisdom) the depths and romantics of what it means when a man loves a woman. If you can come up with some knowledge/wisdom about love and the differences between how a man sees and thinks and feels compared to a woman when in love, (that would reveal that you have some knowledge and wisdom of age that she has not yet known), and have confidence in this and not a weepy, weak manner, then she will Love if she can see in it...a Mature Romeo who "knows" the deeper needs and desires of a woman...
Women in general do "Love" a mature man of wisdom who is like a true leader (sometimes like a really good father). Make her see hints that even without her you have a mind to become in life and achieve in life the more virtious and finer things, so that she will "think" about...if she lets you go or loses you...she has lost a man who is truly in the making of becoming someone of great value.
She appreicates the finer and greater things of the higher road, and not at all "any" ordinary Joe. The advantage you have now is that you have a guy over there that you can use to really make yourself shine brightly in her eyes! It's like it's an added advantage actually. Whatever he is failing at you can make sure you succeeed at like a true Gentleman and scholar!
To do things like this consistently over "Time" with endurance and patience will "do a work" in her. It will reveal your own strength of true love, of endurance and patience...things that will "prove" the strength and power and self-control that she may have thought you lacked when you didn't succeed at stopping drinking. To do things like this consistently over time is...True Love in Action to a woman. It shows alot! This girl likley thinks pretty well of herself and the man for her will "recognize" her worth and will show it by continual adoration but also by being someone of true inner wealth himself.
I had a boy here so it took me time. I do hope for you and your girl.
all of those things about her you have said are true
i think im going to give her a few days space right now because for the lastt 3/4 days she hasnt been in touch as i feel she is waiting for this other lad to get in touch
she will not wont to admit she was wrong by jumping into a relationship with him
i know her well and before she has been keeping in touch she is obviously doing it for a reason
i saw a medium when we were together and she had big hopes for us and the medium told her the same
i dont want to stalk her i know in my own heart she will get in touch when the time is right
Oh I see, alot going on here last night 😖 . You're in the position of wondering "if" these signs mean she might turn back to you? I'll tell you, if those Leo women are at all like Leo men, trying to move their focus and direction is like trying to move a Lion that is resting in a chosen spot. Sounds like maybe she is checking to see if you are still lingering, still on the back burner. Many girls age 18-20 "Do" try to make sure they 'always" have another guy in line in the event they decide to dump this one.
At this age I've seen how they are reasoning with themselves alot to try to figure out who the right guy is that they both really love and also are really most compatible with (so that ultimatley he will meet the character and life needs she feels and recognizes at this new adult stage in life).
If she feels like you are a pusover and she can treat you calously and still know that she can get you back anytime she wants, it's not the best of positions for you to be in.
If something exciting arose in your life, like say you were moving to a new big city or got some fab job or a great girl or just anything that gives appearance and sense that something grand is going on with you, this would most likley get her feeling like she's missing something and she really did make a mistake by letting you go. This is a real good bet here.
But that's not so realistic so try to think of some way or ways to draw her curiosity about what's going on with you...about maybe a side of you she didn't see? Like don't be so predictable as far as answering her texts and about what she sees on any web pages.
The very best and most wise way to catch anyone is not to chase but to be like a fisherman who has the right bait. Enticement, alurement, sense of tempting curiosity. Do a "work" on her mind and heart secretly. Think like a fisherman; they not only put out the bait and "wait" but they also are wise enough to not jump on the first nibble but to let the fish really get hooked. As long as she believes you are just laying on the porch waiting she has nothing to worry about. Give her something to worry about. Be very subtle and wiser than her intuition that knows what you are "really" attempting.
on her facebook last night its all about missing someone etc
how can someone you once were so close to, just all of a sudden ignore you like its no big deal
i believe the new boy has done what he did before and has just cut contact and went in a mood
thats one of them its a very weird situation im in at the moment
she knows she could come back anytime as well
as i say time will tell she is a very moody person if she doesnt get her own way
i dont know what to think at the min i know i love her more than anything in the world and she knows all of this so i guess ill just have to wait my time as i cant leave apartment due to the surgery
although i am getting better which her mum say when she was in
They can do it because Eve was deceived but Adam knew the reality but willingly sinned for the woman. Men are wired more by logic and women by emotions. Men can See that the field looks good, the home is settled and because of that we are happy. The woman doesn't base the wellness and goodness of things on the reality/logic that we have a good and establsihed home, but it's more about "how I feel about my relationships."
Even those women who think they have to be the leader, still in reality both need and want a strong man.
She's young still. Is she working? College? What? And you?
Since she has shown that she just wants to know that you are there for back up, and now what's his name isn't coming through again, give her something to think about...like that the guy who really loves her may be moving on too. She needs to know that you are 'also" interested in your life and that if she's not going to come through then it's very possible for another woman to see the value in you that she isn't paying any attention to.
yeah we are both working but how can i get her attention when she wont even akdowledge me
not even replying to the txts ive sent this past week
i cant do anymore than i already have i feel
if i dont get in touch for a few days she might miss the attention even if ive just been sending 1 txt a day the fact that ive stopped might worry her
if she is having problems with this other lad she wont be in the mood for me getting in touch at this point in time anyway
Well if this guy doesn't come through, and ultimately I doubt he will for any extended time if he even does, it doesn't take a girl at this age long at all to look for someone else. I would stop all the texts and everything and then if or when she ever did make contact I would not display easy access and open arms, or you just reinforce that you are a forever back up.
The more time that you hold back the more of a statement you make, the more she will wonder, and the less she will think she has you wrapped up just incase she decides to fall back on you. Let her some to the realization that she is not the only girl in the world and another girl, maybe even an older one, might just think you are a whole lot more than a back burner guy, and hey...that's a real reality!
yeah ill just all contact that will hurt her more than anything because she will be so use to getting at least 1 txt a day from me and when they stop she will be wondering whats up
its defo a rebound with this guy and judging by her rants on facebook things are not going smoothly for her
Oh definetly stop the daily texts! Ofcourse be a gentleman if or when (she contacts) you, but let there be a (subtle) atmosphere that you are a mature man and not a boy and are beginning to turn your focus onto what your own needs in life may be. I wonder how she would feel if she had an idea that an older woman (than her)had an eye for you? She needs to "See" somehow that your whole existence is not limited to just her, but somehow that you might actually be the one to find a valuable love, a woman that Sees in you what her young eyes are not seeing, while she messed around playing teenager and failed to see and realize that you "also" are interested in "your own" desires and needs and might just be the one (instead of her) to find a real love and then...you wouldn't be able to be her personal pet anymore because you are a faithful man and you "also" have potential to fall in love with someone else.
Right now she thinks it ALL about her and she could have you at the snap of her fingers if she decided. Change this! And have the patience and endurance to let it be visible over time. Because really, you "really can" fall in love with someone else who would think you were NOT worth losing or risking! It's a fact! So don't let her think she possess you but that she "Can't" unless she also has the right kind of love for you!
And if this didn't work...then have enough belief and care for your own self to not want to ever settle for anyone who doesn't truly value and love you.
yeah the txts will stop
i know for a fact she will miss the contact
she can be immature but you cant help who you fall in love with am affraid
the balls in her court now as im unable to leave the apartment due to the surgery so going out and interacting with other people will be hard just now
i think ive been txtn her through boredom more than anything else
on another note just for added info everytime lately ave declared my love via a txt msg she chooses not to reply to that msg but will then reply to another msg completely different so i have had no clousure whatsoever
So she don't mind chatting if it serves a purpose of hers at the moment, like any ole purpose at all, (bordeom or talking about her), but the heck with your feelings, and why bother to tell you she has no feelings of interest at all, when she can keep you hanging and atleast have somebody to chat to if nothing else is going on? So now with a fuller picture, instead of having any perseption that you might have been stressed about surgery, the only thing that mattered to "her" is that she don't like drinking? And we aren't talking about a problem drinker but just a guy who not only was a little anxious about surgery but who also wasn't getting any comfort from the girlfriend. No mercy; you either change instantly or you are out! Ya, was it really hard for her to do this since she really did care but you were such a problem drinker that she had no other choice?
Realize now and don't forget it...You do Not and will Not win a person's real love by being really good to them. You can though get them to treat you more and more like a door mat. I would not only stop texting but if she contacted me after that I'd send back the message that my buddy's bringing a couple girls over and bottle of wine.
so you think she is string me on then
a was a handful thru drink and that was the ONLY reason she left believe me but a was getting grief from parents for it as well
just slipped up the last month b4 my operation
it is weird she doesnt reply to the texts about giving it another go all i get is its too late youve used all your chances
but she persists to txt back etc its very wierd indeed
i would take her back tommorow because i know ive beat the drink and would rather have her in my life and she knows it
maybe i am getting kept as a reserve but deep down i know she is hurting too as she would of cut all contact from day 1
shes not a bad person just misled by her friends and is at such a age where sh
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