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Teen Years: Truth Telling & Myth Busting
Adolescence can be a rough time for parents. At times, your teen may be a source of frustration and exasperation, not to mention financial stress. But these years also bring many, many moments of joy, pride, laughter and closeness.
Is your teen due for a check-up? See the AAP Schedule of Well-Child Care Visits .
What words come to mind when you think of the teen years? Rebellious, risky, or self-centered? Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD, FAAP, FSAHM, author of Congrats—You're Having a Teenager! Strengthen Your Family and Raise a Good Person, says these are myths and encourages parents to start with positive expectations. Dr. Ginsburg hopes that his book will fill you with excitement about adolescence and empower you with the skills to prepare your child to thrive as an adult. Here are 7 truths and 7 myths Dr. Ginsburg wants parents to know.

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Healthy Children > Ages & Stages > Teen > Stages of Adolescence

The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.

By: Brittany Allen, MD, FAAP & Helen Waterman, DO
Adolescence is the period of transition between childhood and adulthood. It includes some big changes—to the body, and to the way a young person relates to the world.
The many physical, sexual, cognitive, social, and emotional changes that happen during this time can bring anticipation and anxiety for both children and their families. Understanding what to expect at different stages can promote healthy development throughout adolescence and into early adulthood.

During this stage, children often start to grow more quickly . They also begin notice other body changes, including hair growth under the arms and near the genitals, breast development in
females and enlargement of the testicles in
males . They usually start a year or two earlier in girls than boys, and it can be normal for some changes to start as early as age 8 for females and age 9 for males. Many girls may start their period at around age 12, on average 2-3 years after the onset of breast development.

These body changes can inspire curiosity and anxiety in some―especially if they do not know what to expect or what is normal . Some children may also question their
gender identity at this time, and the onset of puberty can be a difficult time for
transgender children .

Early adolescents have concrete, black-and-white thinking . Things are either right or wrong, great or terrible, without much room in between. It is normal at this stage for young people to center their thinking on themselves (called "egocentrism"). As part of this, preteens and early teens are often self-conscious about their appearance and feel as though they are always being judged by their
peers .

Pre-teens feel an increased need for privacy . They may start to explore ways of being independent from their family. In this process, they may push boundaries and may react strongly if parents or guardians
reinforce limits .

Physical changes from puberty continue during middle adolescence. Most males will have started their growth spurt, and puberty-related changes continue. They may have some voice cracking, for example, as their
voices lower. Some develop acne. Physical changes may be nearly complete for females, and most girls now have regular periods.

At this age, many teens become interested in

romantic and sexual relationships . They may question and explore their sexual identity―which may be stressful if they do not have support from peers, family, or community. Another typical way of exploring
sex and sexuality for teens of all genders is self-stimulation, also called
masturbation .

Many middle adolescents have more

arguments with their parents as they struggle for more independence. They may spend less time with family and more time with friends. They are very concerned about their
appearance , and peer pressure may peak at this age.

The brain continues to change and mature in this stage, but there are still many differences in how a normal middle adolescent thinks compared to an adult. Much of this is because the frontal lobes are the last areas of the brain to mature―development is not complete until a person is well into their 20s! The frontal lobes play a big role in coordinating complex decision making, impulse control, and being able to consider multiple options and consequences. Middle adolescents are more able to think abstractly and consider "the big picture," but they still may lack the ability to apply it in the moment. For example, in certain situations, kids in middle adolescence may find themselves thinking things like:
"I'm doing well enough in math and I
really want to see this movie… one night of skipping studying won't matter."

Do I really
have to wear a condom during sex if my girlfriend takes the pill?"

"Marijuana is legal now, so it can't be
that bad."
While they may be able to walk through the logic of avoiding risks outside of these situations, strong emotions often continue to drive their decisions when impulses come into play.
Late adolescents generally have completed physical development and grown to their full adult height. They usually have more impulse control by now and
may be better able to gauge risks and rewards accurately. In comparison to middle adolescents, youth in late adolescence might find themselves thinking:
"While I do love Paul Rudd movies, I need to study for my final."
"I should wear a condom…even though my girlfriend is on birth control, that's not 100% in preventing pregnancy."
"Even though marijuana is legal, I'm worried about how it might affect my mood and work/school performance."
Teens entering early adulthood have a stronger sense of their own individuality now and can identify their own
values . They may become more focused on the future and base decisions on their hopes and ideals. Friendships and romantic relationships become more stable. They become more emotionally and physically separated from their family. However, many reestablish an "adult" relationship with their parents, considering them more an equal from whom to ask advice and discuss mature topics with, rather than an authority figure.
Children and their parents often struggle with changing dynamics of family relationships during adolescence. But parents are still a critical support throughout this time.

Help your child anticipate changes in his or her body . Learn about
puberty and explain what's ahead. Reassure them that
physical changes and emerging
sexuality is part of normal, healthy development. Leave room for questions and allow children to ask them at their own pace. Talk to your pediatrician when needed!

Start early conversations about other important topics . Maintain open
communication about healthy relationships ,
sex , sexuality, consent, and safety (such as how to prevent
sexually transmitted infection and
pregnancy , and
substance use ). Starting these conversations during early adolescence will help build a good framework for discussions later.

Keep

conversations with your child positive . Point out strengths. Celebrate successes.

Be supportive and set clear

limits with high (but reasonable) expectations . Communicate clear, reasonable expectations for curfews, school engagement,
media use , and behavior, for example. At the same time, gradually expanding opportunities for more independence over time as your child takes on responsibility. Youth with parents that aim for this balance have been shown to have lower rates of depression and drug use.

Discuss risky behaviors (such as sexual activity and substance use) and their consequences . Be sure to set a positive example yourself. This can help teens consider or rehearse decision-making ahead of time and prepare for when situations arise.

Honor independence and individuality . This is all part of moving into early adulthood. Always remind your child you are there to help when needed.
The adolescent years can feel like riding a roller coaster. By maintaining positive and respectful parent-child relationships during this period, your family can (try to) enjoy the ride!
Brittany Allen, MD, FAAP, is a board-certified general pediatrician and provides specialty care to transgender and gender nonconforming youth. She is an Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health. She is a member of American Academy of Pediatrics Section on Section on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Health and Wellness and the Wisconsin Chapter.
Helen Waterman, DO is a resident physician in pediatrics at the University of Wisconsin. Within the American Academy of Pediatrics, she is a member of the Section on Pediatric Trainees and the Section on Osteopathic Pediatricians.

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Call or text the NAMI Helpline at 800-950-6264,
or chat with us, M-F, 10 a.m. - 10 p.m. ET.
Learn the common signs of mental illness in adults and adolescents.
Learn more about common mental health conditions that affect millions.
Mental health conditions typically begin during childhood, adolescence or young adulthood. Here you will find additional information intended to help provide young people, educators, parents and caregivers with the resources they need. From a free downloadable coloring and activity book to a teen mental heath education presentation, to a guide for navigating college with a mental health condition, this page has resources for all young people. It also has handy information for parents, caregivers, and educators, like a one-pager on how to start a conversation about mental health and an example week of wellness activities that can be used at home.
Created by NAMI Washington, Meet Little Monster is a mental health coloring and activity book that provides children with a tool for helping express and explore their feelings in a fun, creative and empowering way. available for download at no-cost in both English and Spanish.
Created in partnership with The JED Foundation, the College Guide is a one stop online resource to help young adults navigate the many situations encountered when in this new and exciting environment
A one-pager that gives suggestions on how to support a friend struggling with a mental health condition
A one-pager that helps individuals understand the importance of words when talking about mental health conditions and suicide
A one-pager that makes taking the first steps to asking for help less overwhelming
A video on where and how you can find the help and support you need for a mental health condition.
A video on who to reach out to and ways to put your thoughts and feelings into words to receive help for a mental health condition.
Do you have a mental health toolkit? In this video, NAMI volunteer Britt shares what positive coping skills are and how to develop a mental health toolkit so that we don't fall into negative coping strategies. Additionally, she discusses what specific skills help her cope.
In this video, learn how to prepare for a mental health emergency, including how to safely share medical information with someone you trust.
A set of social media graphics to start a conversation with your community about mental health check-ins, mental health game plans and our four-day gratitude challenge. Download the graphics here .
NAMI Ending the Silence is an engaging presentation that helps middle and high school aged youth learn about the warning signs of mental health conditions and what steps to take if you or a loved one are showing symptoms of a mental health condition.
NAMI Ending the Silence is offered in-person by NAMI affiliates across the country and is also now available online when an in-person presentation is not available.
School Mental Health Resource Poster
Teachers can help students access vital mental health resources easily and confidentially with this convenient poster. Students can tear away important mental health resource information or scan the QR code to save contacts directly into their phones. NAMI recommends pre-cutting the tear aways at the bottom and tearing off the first one to relieve the pressure of any student being the first to take one.
Supporting Back to School Wellness
A one-pager with a few tips for teachers on how to make students’ transition back to the classroom a little bit easier during these uncertain times.
Language Matters
A one-pager that helps individuals understand the importance of words when talking about mental health conditions and suicide.
The Three C's for Educators
A one-pager with tips for educators on supporting their student's emotional and mental well-being during the transition back to school and throughout the school year!
Mental Health & Wellness Moments for Educators
Mental Health & Wellness Moments for Educators (Spanish)
An activity guide for educators to incorporate daily wellness activities in the classroom to enhance the emotional well-being of their students.
Classroom Mental Health Contract
Classroom Mental Health Contract (Spanish)
An activity guide to help students develop an understanding of mental health and identify supports available for them inside the classroom and at school.
NAMI Basics is a six-session education program for parents, caregivers and other family who provide care for youth (ages 22 and younger) who are experiencing mental health symptoms. This program is free to participants, 99% of whom say they would recommend the program to others. NAMI Basics is available both in person and online through NAMI Basics OnDemand .
A video that describes what to do and where to go for help when your child shows symptom of a mental health condition
A one-pager that helps individuals understand the importance of words when talking about mental health conditions and suicide.
A nationwide iHeartRadio special, hosted by Ryan Gorman that includes Barbara Solish, director of youth and young adult initiatives at NAMI, discussing resources and help available for children, teens and young adults faced with the hardship of the pandemic and remote learning. The NAMI segment starts at minute marker 14:47.
A one-pager with tips for parents on supporting their children's emotional and mental well-being during the challenging transition back to the classroom and throughout the school year!
An activity guide for parents and guardians to discuss mental health and well-being with their children in the home and develop supportive practical strategies.
An activity guide for parents and caregivers to incorporate daily wellness activities at home to enhance the emotional well-being of their children.
A one-pager with data on the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic on youth and young adult.
A poll conducted by Ipsos on behalf of NAMI finds that an overwhelming number of parents support mental health education in schools and “mental health days” for their children.
CDC’s first nationally representative survey of high school students during the pandemic can inform effective programs.
A guide that provides interventions to treat for suicidal ideation, self-harm and suicide attempts among youth. It provides research on implementation and examples of the ways that these recommendations can be implemented.
The Youth Risk Behavior Survey Data Summary & Trends Report: 2009–2019 provides the most recent surveillance data on health behaviors and experiences among high school students in the US related to four priority areas associated with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including HIV, and unintended teen pregnancy: sexual behavior, high-risk substance use, experiencing violence, and mental health and suicide.
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Learn what PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) is, its causes, symptoms and treatment options.
#Notalone Conversation: Heading Back to School
Sherman Gillums joins Ananya Venkatachalam (student), Shobhana Radhakrishnan (mom), and Jamie Meisinger (teacher) to discuss heading back to school after a year of at-home learning. This conversation opens the dialogue to realize the mental health challenges and opportunities for students, teachers and parents.
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